1971
by Silent-Skies
Summary: Two boys: one Dark by nature, one Black by blood. What happens when two contradictions to the rule meet? Enter the Castle of Destiny, and follow Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, as they battle with the ever-present Dark Forces in their lives...
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary: **Two boys - one Dark by nature, one Black by blood. What happens when the two contradictions to the rule meet? Enter the Castle of Destiny, and follow Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, as they battle with themselves and the ever-present Dark forces in thier lives...

**Prologue**

Sirius couldn't sleep.

Moonlight was filtering through a gap in the heavy velvet curtains, bathing his face with silver.

He rolled over, burrowing into the soft darkness of his blankets, his mind fuzzy with sleep.

Downstairs, the clock in the hall was striking twelve, the deep mellow chimes echoing through the house.

Sirius let out a sigh, and rolled over onto his back, kicking his blankets to the floor.

He could hear Kreacher sneaking about the house, muttering to himself –malevolent whispers of blood and hatred.

He stared up at the carved wooden canopy of his bed, his eyelids feeling suddenly and unbearably heavy.

Somewhere deep in the heart of Grimmauld, a floorboard creaked.

Sirius blinked, feeling himself slipping slowly away, his tired mind giving way, sending him spiralling into a haze of dreams.

"_Sirius. Sirius?" _

_A man is calling his name. The voice is cold, and heartless. It reminds him of the freezing burn of ice, and the dirty, bloody taste of money – the taste of power. A name filters into his head. Orion Black. His father. An imposing man at best, and a Dark Wizard at worst, he was powerful, rich, and terrifying._

_To everyone but Sirius._

_To Sirius, his father is his whole world. And when Little Siri grows up, he wants to be just like him._

_Sirius smiles, and blinks, and he's in an Astronomy lesson. They are on the roof of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, gazing up at the midnight sky, staring up at the glittering stars. His father is pointing at them, his stone-grey eyes picking them out one by one._

_Orion the Hunter. Brave, strong, a true leader. Sirius' heart is filled with awe as he gazes up at his Father. Truly, his Father MUST be the greatest man alive to have a name worthy of a Hunter of Stars… Then Orion turns to smile at four year old Sirius, and points to another of the shining stars and says, "And look there. It's you!" _

"_Sirius, the Dog Star. That's what you are! Orion's little puppy-dog!" Sirius smiles up at his Father, feeling proud as anything. Man's loyal best friend – what more would he want to be? _

_But then… There's something there, something in his Fathers eyes… Sirius frowns, his heart jumping erratically in his chest. There is something cold in his Fathers face, something that makes Sirius think that he means… _

_Orion's face twists into a sneer, and he starts to laugh. "That's what you are Sirius! A pet. A show dog! Something to be tamed, trained. To obey me without question!" He laughs and laughs and laughs – it's a cold, hard sound, and it hurts Sirius' heart._

_He can feel his world imploding, tumbling away from beneath his feet. He's falling, crying, his heart is thumping, louder and louder he can hear blood pounding in his ears. Everything's blurred, everything's wrong… He can hear his mother screaming and hateful, hating him, hating, hating… So much hatred. It's blood red, and makes his eyes burn._

_He can see Regulus now, lurking on the staircase, watching him, always watching him, worshipping him. His mother pats Sirius on the cheek, but although her painted mouth is smiling, it's cold, and her fingernails feel like claws against his skin. He steps back, and turns around, only to see…_

_Regulus is shouting at him. "Get away from me, traitor! I hate you! You betrayed me, I hate you!" Each word is like a knife in his chest, and Sirius staggers, and falls, through the floor, down and down, through the earth itself.._

_Suddenly, he's fallen all the way to the stars, and he can almost swear that they're laughing at him, mocking him. His vision starts to spin, everything is fizzling, and his heart is beating far too fast, too fast and too hard. The rush of blood is almost unbearable. He can see an eternity of it – of power and money and hurting and hatred and loneliness and darkness._

_The clock strikes thirteen,_

And Sirius wakes.

He sat up, gasping for breath, his eyes blurred with tears.

For a moment, he could do nothing but sit and sob, deep, desperate sobs that can hardly even be described as such - more like massive convulsions of confusion and terror that racked his whole body, causing tears to escape from his tightly closed silver eyes.

_What…_

_What's happening to me?_

_What's wrong with me?_

_Why am I thinking like this?!_

_Mother and Father… They love me! They're my parents! _

He shook his head, shoving a hand through his hair, violently tugging at a knot until his eyes began to water.

_Just… get a grip Sirius. _

_Get a grip. _

He rubbed his eyes, and tumbled out of bed, staggering over to the curtains. Pulling back the heavy black drapes, he blinked in the sudden glare of cold morning sunlight.

A new day.

A new month - the First of September.

Sirius smiled slightly, before turning back to his bedside table, and picking up his wand.

_This is the first day of the rest of my life. _

_My destiny… It starts here. _

-----

"_Run, Remus! Quickly, I'll hold him off!" a tall, willowy woman shouted, pulling out her wand and stopping in her tracks. The wind blew her long, bronze hair across her face, catching the silver light of the full moon. Her large blue eyes shone with tears, but still she encouraged her young son to escape._

_The boy, however, had other plans. "No, mum, don't!" he screamed, beginning to run back to her._

"_RUN!" Aurora Lupin shouted, just before the huge wolf leapt upon her and tore out her throat._

"_MUM!" Remus cried, and the wolf looked up into young eyes that were just as blue as his mother's. Suddenly terrified again, he turned to run, but the wolf gave a single bound to land before him, its jaws dripping with saliva and blood. It might have been Remus' imagination, but he could have sworn that he saw the wolf smile._

_It was only when the wolf sank its teeth into his shoulder that the boy screamed again, falling to the floor with the wolf standing over him. He heard the weak voice of his mother over his screams, still repeating over and over again for him to run. She did not know that it was just too late…_

Nine-year-old Remus John Lupin was curled up in the corner of his tiny, windowless bedroom, shaking in a mixture of fear and weakness. His recent sleep had been filled with nightmares of a giant, silver-backed wolf ripping out his mother's throat before turning on him... If only they were just nightmares. For it was, indeed, a memory - his first, in fact - and not a figment of a child's over-active imagination; at the tender age of three he had watched a werewolf attack his mother, been bitten himself, and crawled to his mother's body to await being found by his devastated father.

A creaking sound was heard, and suddenly a square of bright light appeared in the ceiling. The silhouette of his father, John Lupin, blocked some of the light, and Remus cowered into the corner even more. Since the attack, his father had forced him to sleep in the secret wine cellar beneath the kitchen, occasionally allowing him to emerge for meals if the man was in a good mood. Generally, though, Remus lived in the small room. He was lucky if he got one meal a day magicked down to him, and even luckier if it was more than a slice or two of stale bread and slightly molding cheese.

It was rare for his father to visit him in the cellar, and Remus knew that it was never a good occasion when he did.

Today was no exception. John staggered down the stairs - closing the trapdoor behind him - and searched for Remus through blurry eyes, finally alighting upon his thin, pale form in the far corner. With an everlasting candle in one hand and a bottle of the strongest Firewhisky in the other, the man struck both a violent and a vulnerable figure. Reeking of alcohol, John stumbled over to the corner and looked down at the boy in disgust. Remus let a whimper escape his cracked lips, and John merely spat at him. He took a long drink from the bottle before throwing it down next to Remus, who wailed as he was hit with the debris of broken glass. John spat at his son a second time before grabbing his long, brown hair and pulling him to his knees. Remus wailed again, unable to prevent himself from crying.

"Be quiet!" John snapped, his face livid. Remus fell silent immediately, but he could not stop his tears. "Open your eyes!" Remus, again, followed orders; large, golden eyes - framed with thick, dark lashes - stared into his father's brown ones with nothing short of terror. John's lip curled. "Still yellow, I see," he said menacingly. "We'll have to try and fix that."

"N-n-no, father, p-please," Remus begged, his eyes imploring. "They w-won't change b-b-back, they n-never -"

"Silence!" John bellowed, throwing his son to the floor. Remus withheld his whimper as he landed awkwardly on his wrist, resting his forehead on the cold, stone floor until his father ordered him to turn over. The boy stared up at him, meeting his eyes for only a second. The thing that was now in his father's hands had caught his attention, and he released a premature yowl of agony; a long, silver coil twirled between them, glittering in the flickering candlelight. "Do you know what this is?" he asked coldly, referring to the coil. Remus whimpered a reply, already trying to inch away. John glared at him, his eyes ablaze in hatred. "I said, do you know what this is?"

"S-s-silver," Remus stuttered in a whisper, his eyes wide.

"Of course it's silver, idiot!" John shouted, flicking the end of it dangerously close to Remus' face. "I mean what object is it?"

"A sh-shower cable," Remus replied, remembering the sight of it from the rare times he ever got to use the shower.

John smiled sardonically. "Well done, boy. It seems your memory hasn't changed, so why have your eyes?"

"B-b-because th-that's how -"

"I didn't expect an answer!" John reprimanded, whipping the cable onto his son's bare skin. Remus' howls echoed around the room for a long time, unheard by anyone but his father.

It was not the first time that John had punished his son like this, nor was it to be the last. But nothing could compare to the pain that the young boy felt on the morning of July 12th, 1971.

It was one of the rare mornings that a sober John Lupin had allowed his eleven-year-old son out of the cellar, and Remus was sat under the table eating a meagre breakfast of a slice of dry toast. Just as he was eating the last bite, a tapping sound could be heard at the window. John was on his feet in an instant, hurrying to open it for the graceful barn owl that waited outside. Assuming that it was a letter for him he reached out to take it from the owl, but she snapped her beak at him before soaring inside the kitchen and landing beside Remus.

The silence that fell in the kitchen was thick enough to cut with a knife. Remus stared at the owl in shock not only because it had brought him a letter, but also because it was sitting next to him with no trace of panic. Most animals fled at the mere sight of a Dark Creature. She nibbled his ear affectionately as she dropped the letter in his lap, and he picked it up with trembling fingers. There was no doubt now that the letter was for him, for his name was written in elegant green script on the front of it. He turned the letter over to see a seal of a lion, a badger, an eagle and a snake entwined around an 'H', and Remus suddenly realised who the letter was from.

"Who would send you a letter?" John was scorning, reaching out to snatch the letter from him. Remus was too quick for him, however, and he scrambled away with the letter in his hand.

"It's fr-from H-H-Hogwarts," Remus stammered.

John blinked. "No, it's not. It can't be."

"It is! It h-has the s-s-seal and ev-everything."

"Then it must be a letter of rejection," John reasoned. "No one would want a Dark Creature in their school. There are restrictions on educating your kind now, anyway. Give the letter to me, to save you the disappointment of opening it."

"N-no," Remus said, clutching the letter close to him. "I w-want to o-o-open it."

John smiled cruelly. "Go on, then. Be disappointed."

Remus looked at the letter once more before breaking the seal, opening the thick parchment and reading the letter that fell into his lap.

**HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY**

**Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore**

**(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International confed. of Wizards)**

**Dear Mr Lupin,**

**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1st September. We await your owl by no later than 31st July.**

**Yours sincerely,**

**Minerva McGonagall**

**Deputy Headmistress**

Remus could not help but smile. "I got in," he whispered incredulously, his nervous stutter vanishing in surprise. "I got in!" He looked up into the seething face of his father, and his smile immediately faded.

John stood up abruptly, striding over to the side of the table where Remus was cowering and grabbing his thick hair. He howled in pain as he was dragged from under the table, still clutching his letter. "You're not going to that school!" John yelled, tearing the letter from his hands. "You will write to this McGonagall woman and tell her that you're going to be home-schooled, and that your place should be given to someone else!"

"N-no, father!"

"Yes!" he screamed, before slapping his son across his face; the silver ring on his ring finger burned his cheek, and Remus only howled louder.

"P-p-please, father, m-mum would've w-wanted -"

John slapped his son again. "How dare you speak to me about your mother? How dare you?" He opened the trapdoor in the floor with a flick of his wand, and threw his son bodily down the stairs. "I'll write to the school to tell them that you're not going!" Then he slammed the door closed, plunging Remus into pitch-blackness.

It took Remus a few minutes before he could bring himself to move, and he managed to pull himself over to a corner before collapsing on the thin, ripped mattress that served as his bed. It was not long before he began to cry, his painfully skinny body racking with silent sobs. He did not doubt that John would write to the school and reject his place, and it was this that caused Remus the greatest sorrow; he had always believed that learning magic and having social interaction with other children his age would help him become as normal as it was possible for a lycanthrope to be, and now that his father was to stop him from attending Hogwarts he would never experience normality. The dream that he had grasped onto for six years had shattered, and he had nothing left to live for.

Eventually, John joined his son in the cellar, armed with an assortment of silver cutlery, ornaments, jewellery and the shower cable. He spotted his son in the corner, still crying, and gave a cold smile. "I've written the letter, and that owl returned to Hogwarts with it," he said, his smile becoming colder at the sound of Remus' helpless mewl of pain. "Unfortunately, you dared to argue with me, and you befouled the memory of your mother by speaking of her. You must be punished severely because of it."

Remus did not even protest as his father hurt him this time. He could not help his screams of pain and wolf-like growls of agony, but he did not try to stop the punishment. John Lupin's message had finally sunk in - Remus was to blame for everything, and he did not deserve to live.

It was not until late that night that John finally left Remus' room, leaving the latter bloodied, bruised and broken on the floor. He had not stopped crying since he had first begun earlier that morning, but he now had physical pain as well as mental and emotional pain to weep about. When he heard the soft tapping on the trapdoor, however, he paused his sobs to listen again. The tapping continued, and Remus - despite being terrified - crawled to the bottom of the stairs. Holding his fractured right arm to his chest, he managed to limp up the stairway to press his ear to the wood. This time, the flutter of wings could be heard with the tapping noise, and Remus guessed that it was an owl.

"H-hello?" he called out softly, and the noise stopped. A quiet hoot echoed back to him, and he assumed that it was the owl from this morning returning with his father's reply. "He's n-not d-d-down here," he whispered, but the owl hooted again. Suddenly, an envelope was dropped through the crack between trapdoor and frame, landing neatly in Remus' hand. He looked at it in surprise. "For me?" he asked, only to be replied with a third hoot.

Remus smiled and hurried back down the stairs, scrabbling at a loose stone in the wall beside his mattress. It slid out easily, and he felt around in the darkness for what he was looking for - a small stump of a candle and a box of matches. He lit the candle and placed it gently on the floor before turning to his letter, tearing it open to read it.

**HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY**

**Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore**

**(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International confed. of Wizards)**

**Dear Mr Lupin,**

**Although we regret the fact that you will not be attending our school, we wish you all the best in your future studies. Your place will be kept open for you until July 31st, in case you wish to change your decision.**

**Yours sincerely,**

**Minerva McGonagall**

**Deputy Headmistress**

Remus' heart soared. Due to what seemed to him to be a happy coincidence, his place had been kept open and the owl had delivered him the letter without his father noticing. Suddenly recognizing the possibilities that this occurrence opened to him, he returned to searching his hidden cache for writing utensils. He soon pulled out a small scrap of parchment and a tiny inkwell, which had no ink in it. He managed to find a quill with a ragged nib and broken feather, but there was no inkbottle to be seen. Deciding that writing this letter was more important than anything else, he pierced the ball of his thumb with his sharp canine teeth and dipped the nib into the scarlet blood.

A few more cuts and words later, Remus shook his wild hair from his face and re-read the little that he had written with the remains of his candlelight.

**Dear Professor Dumbledore, (or Professor McGonagall, whichever of you receives this letter),**

**I expect that this is a rare occurrence, having two owls from one prospective pupil in one day, but I beg you to ignore my last letter. I know that I sent you an owl this morning rejecting my place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but I really do want it. I only cast my doubts this morning because my father and I did not know whether the school knew of my condition.**

**You see, I am an unfortunate sufferer of lycanthropy, and both my father and I are aware that educating werewolves has recently become heavily restricted. We had only best intentions for the school in mind by rejecting my place - surely having a werewolf in the school will cause uproar with parents, students and teachers alike?**

**However, should you not mind having a lycanthropic student in the school, I would be exceptionally happy to accept my place from September, if only for a few years until my continued education becomes completely illegal. If I am lucky enough to be accepted again, then I would ask you to write to my father, John Lupin, to tell him that my education is compulsory, for he would let me attend the school with the notion that I would be both safe and secure. If the emergence of my lycanthropy means that I cannot attend, I would be grateful if you merely sent him a copy of your last letter - I do not wish him to know of our correspondence, for he tries so hard to keep my lycanthropy secret from the neighbors that I do not think that he would appreciate me revealing this to perfect strangers.**

**I reveal this information to you in the strictest of confidence, for my father is still waiting for the Ministry to confirm my registration as a werewolf and I do not wish for them to know about my condition before the paperwork has gone through.**

**Thank you for your understanding,**

**Remus J. Lupin**

**PS: You have a very clever - but reckless - owl. You might want to teach her to flee from werewolves like every other animal.**

Remus smiled softly, pleased at what he had written. Still not using his useless right arm, he folded the letter carefully and made a fresh cut with which to write on the front:

**Professor A. Dumbledore or Professor M. McGonagall,**

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,**

**Scotland (?)**

He hoped that the question mark next to the location would not give the recipient of the letter a bad first impression of him, but he had not read about Hogwarts since before his mother had died and could only recall the vague impression that the school was located somewhere in the country. Grabbing the candle, he carefully tipped the melted wax onto the join to seal the parchment closed. A short, sharp breath cooled it immediately, and he hurried up the stairs to the trapdoor.

A scuffling noise from above told him that the owl was still there, so he carefully pushed the letter between the gap again. He felt it tugged gently from his hand. "Take it to Professor McGonagall or Professor Dumbledore," he asked in a whisper, and the owl gave a muffled noise of confirmation before fluttering her wings and soaring away.

Remus returned to his bed, quickly pushing the quill and inkwell back into the secret cache and replacing the stone. His smile did not fade, and for the first time in six years he fell into a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

Morning arrived unbeknownst to Remus, and he slept in obliviousness until the banging of the trapdoor opening awoke him with a start. Supporting his right arm with his left, he sat up and looked at the furious figure of his father. It was a rare sight to see John with something other than a Firewhisky bottle and silver when he visited Remus in the cellar, but today he had neither; instead, he held an open letter.

"For you, from Hogwarts," he snapped, thrusting the parchment into Remus' injured hand. He struggled to unfold it again, but what he read was worth the uncomfortable pain.

**HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY**

**Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore**

**(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International confed. of Wizards)**

**Dear Mr. Lupin,**

**In reply to your letter yesterday morning, I am writing to tell you that the letter that you received was merely a formality. Your education at this school is compulsory not by law, but at the request of the Headmaster himself. Professor Dumbledore wishes you to know that just after you were born, your mother wrote to him to ensure that he would educate you here at Hogwarts - they later met to carry out an Unbreakable Vow, which he is against breaking for obvious reasons. Should you or your father wish for proof of this occurrence the Bonder has sadly passed on, but Professor Dumbledore has the letter from your mother filed, and will happily send you a copy.**

**I would also like to inform you that we are aware of your lycanthropy, and if you letter of rejection was for your own protection, the protection of other inhabitants of the school or the fear of persecution, I can assure you that you will find no prejudice from staff members here. Our resident Healer, Poppy Pomfrey, has agreed to help you recover after your transformations, and we have already installed a safe haven for your transformations to take place.**

**Should you have lost the list of equipment from the previous letter, I enclose another copy.**

**I look forward to teaching you come September.**

**Yours sincerely,**

**Minerva McGonagall**

**Deputy Headmistress**

Remus could not help but smile and he did not regret it, even after his father took out his rage on him again. He was going to Hogwarts to study magic with other children, and they did not care about his condition. Nothing could spoil his day.

Later that night, he heard the same scuffling noise from last night, and he knew that the owl had returned. Limping painfully, he made his way up the stairs to read the new letter in the dim light coming through the crack.

**I hope that my letter helped you, Remus.**

**Minerva McGonagall**

And then the owl dropped another note down to him. This letter was written in slanted, looping characters, different to the now familiar handwriting of Professor McGonagall.

**The owl - Roselina - is now yours. She will be kept in the Owlery until your arrival in September.**

There was no signature.

Remus' trip to Diagon Alley was his first trip away from the house since his mother had died, and as he stepped out of his front door he was struck with a feeling of agoraphobia. It did not last for long, however, as his heightened senses reveled in the unfamiliar smells, sounds and sights. So as not to raise suspicions over Remus' condition, John had ordered him to shower, cut his hair and cover his scars and cuts with a long-sleeved shirt and jeans - despite it being nearly thirty degrees and the middle of August. When the neighbors caught sight of Remus, they smiled reassuringly at him; unsure as to how he should react, he looked away and to the old, rusty Muggle car parked on the driveway. John motioned to him to get into the car (which looked as though it could not possibly be road-legal) as he did so himself, and Remus warily crawled into the front passenger seat. As his father reversed into the road, he explained the neighbor's reactions.

"I told them that you're a hopeless agoraphobic, triggered by the events surrounding... well, you know." Remus guessed that he meant the death of his mother, and he nodded silently; little did his father know that he really was agoraphobic, but that it was not crippling. "It handily explained your long stay out of the public eye." His lips curled in a cruel smile, and Remus looked away to watch the road.

"H-how is this c-c-car s-safe?" he asked quietly, and John laughed harshly.

"It doesn't really look like this, you stupid animal! If I left it undisguised on the driveway, it would have been stolen by now." Driving one-handed, he flicked his wand and the car seemed to transform; the seats became plush, untorn and filled; the dashboard became shiny and new; the dull, faded red that could vaguely be seen beneath the rust on the bonnet brightened and shone through the corrosion. As they drove past a shop window, Remus saw that the old, battered car that they had been driving in was non-existent, and that they were now seated in a brand new Ford Capri Coupe with glittering hubcaps and a blinding red paint job.

John was still smiling. "As much as I hate you, I thank you for surviving the bite. Because I don't have to care for you, I'm rich. Six years of a regular income, child benefits and no child to indulge, my bank vault was upgraded last year."

"W-what about m-m-mine?"

"What about it?"

"W-what's in it?"

"Only the money your mother left to you in her will. Did you expect something more?"

"N-no."

"Good."

The rest of the journey up to London passed in silence, for Remus dared neither to turn on the radio nor try to converse with his father. When they had parked in a side street and John had bought a parking ticket (using Muggle money, Remus noticed in astonishment), he grabbed his son by the arm and led him out to a busy street packed with people. Remus felt the agoraphobia return to him against his will, and he closed his eyes and let his father drag him down the pavement.

Soon, the bustle of people stopped and Remus sensed the enclosed feeling that made him assume that they were inside. Cautiously opening his eyes, he saw that they were in a dingy pub with a young man behind the bar, smiling at them. "Alright, Lupin? Haven't seen you around this way for a while."

Remus opened and closed his mouth silently, wondering how to reply to that statement, when John said, "We've come shopping, Tom. Remus here starts at Hogwarts in September, so we've come to get his supplies."

"Ah, so this is Remus!" Tom cried, smiling widely; Remus could see that he was already missing a number of teeth. "You've certainly grown tall – I haven't seen you since you came here with your mother."

John nudged Remus, who started. "Say something!" he mouthed, and Remus nodded once.

"W-well, sir, I'm a-a-agoraphobic," he stuttered, twisting his hands in agitation. "I h-haven't l-left the house in s-s-six y-years."

Tom nodded understandingly. "I'm not surprised, after the accident. Tragic, truly tragic… Still I hope that attending Hogwarts will help you conquer your fear."

"I h-hope so t-t-too, sir," Remus said as his father ushered him out the back door into the dirty alley behind the pub.

"That's quite enough socialising for today," John sneered, whipping out his wand and tapping the brick that revealed the entrance to Diagon Alley.

The first thing that struck Remus was that the street seemed smaller than he remembered. It was packed with people, many of whom were walking in family groups with school-aged children. The air was saturated with the scents of magic and human and animal, and it was driving the wolf inside him mad. He struggled to force it back, and when he had his acute hearing managed to pick up snatches of conversation:

"Hurry up, Alfred, we have to buy you some new robes…"

"Elizabeth, dear, remind me how this money works…?"

"Come on, Alison, we'll buy you some healing salve…"

Remus did not have time to dwell on these fragments of other people's lives, for his father was dragging him away towards a shop that proclaimed itself to be called Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. As they entered the brightly-painted shop, a short woman dressed in mauve robes bustled over to them with a smile on her round face. "Hogwarts, dear?" she asked Remus kindly, and he nodded. John, however, spoke up:

"I'm afraid that we'll have to buy some secondhand robes, Madam Malkin. We're currently short on money."

Remus opened his mouth to protest, but John reacted quicker; he pressed his silver ring to the nape of his son's neck, and the latter gritted his teeth to prevent himself from screaming in pain. By this time, Madam Malkin's smile had become sympathetic and understanding, and she appeared not to notice Remus' discomfort. "Oh, of course, dear. They might be slightly short for you, as you're tall for a First Year… unless you don't mind them being a little shabby, in which case they could be longer…"

"Just do the best you can," John said. "I'm sure Remus will survive."

Not only did Remus have to settle for shabby, secondhand robes, but John bought him outdated copies of his spellbooks, a rusting cauldron, a hardly-balanced set of scales, an ancient trunk, and a tattered hat. He even tried to find a pair of old dragonhide gloves, but the shop owner insisted that they were too unsafe to be sold and convinced him into buying a new pair. Much to Remus' disbelief, John almost refused to purchase him a brand new wand; he did not relent until Remus threatened to use his lycanthropic strength to smash the Capri beyond repair. They walked into Ollivanders in silence, and yet the owner of the shop appeared in moments.

"Ah, John Lupin," Ollivander whispered eerily, making both father and son jump. "It's been a while since you were in here buying your wand. Nine inches, hazel and dragon heartstring. Good for Charms work, wasn't it?" John nodded mutely. "Does it still live up to expectations?"

"Twenty-five years, and it's just as good as it's always been," John replied tightly, seeming slightly unnerved. "However, there's no time for reminiscing. We're here for my son, Remus."

"Of course, of course," Ollivander said, turning to Remus and scrutinising him in the way an artist examined his muse. "Hmm. You don't resemble your father much –"

"No, he doesn't," John interrupted, "he looks like his mother."

"Yes, Aurora Richardson… I remember the wedding announcement – and the obituary - in the Prophet… anyway, on to Remus." He returned his pale eyes to the young, nervous boy before him, pulling a tape measure from his pocket as he did so. "Now, which is your wand arm?"

Remus was unsure how to answer. "W-w-well, I'm l-left-handed…" he stammered uncertainly, and Ollivander smiled.

"Hold out your arm, then," he instructed, and Remus did so. He measured various parts of his arm and his height before he turned away, beckoning Remus to follow him. "Now, I'll hand you a number of wands, and I want you to wave each one. Don't worry if it takes a while, you mustn't rush this process. The wand chooses the wizard, after all… hmm. Let's try this one." He picked up a long, thin black box at random and opened it, taking the wand out and giving it a quick glance. "An odd combination, rosewood and phoenix feather, fourteen inches. Quite powerful, an all-round wand – you shouldn't have any trouble with it favouring a certain type of spellwork… here, just wave that for me."

Remus took the reddish-brown wand, giving a start as his fingers tingled warmly. Following Ollivander's instructions cautiously, he gave a delicate swishing movement; he dropped it in shock, however, when a sudden shower of scarlet and gold sparks flew from the tip to ricochet around the room. Ollicander smiled. "Well well, what a rarity. The right wand on the very first try." He picked the fallen wand up from the floor and placed it back in its velvet-lined box.

"H-how can you t-t-tell that it's the r-right wand?" Remus asked curiously.

"Are you blind, boy?" John exclaimed, raising his hand as if to strike him. "If it were the wrong wand, there wouldn't've been any sparks!"

"Well for all I know, sparks could mean that it's the wrong wand!" Remus shouted, his teeth bared in an animalistic snarl as his nervous stutter disappeared in his rage.

John was at his side in a instant, gripping his son by the arm so that the silver ring burned him. "Don't you dare answer me back!" he said through gritted teeth.

"Then don't you insult me," he replied quietly, his golden eyes flashing in anger and pain.

Ollivander said nothing.

Remus' outburst in the wand shop cost him dearly. He was thrown down into the basement the very moment they got home, and his wand and spellbooks were kept under lock and key in his trunk in his father's room. John did not even acknowledge that Remus existed for two days, after which he gave his son a tiny glass of water and half a slice of bread before leaving him alone for a few more days. After five long days of being ignored, the real punishments began. They were more liberal and painful than normal; in the remaining two weeks before the Hogwarts term started, Remus had both arms broken and mended at least three times, more silver burns than he could count scattered over his body, and a number of deep cuts from the shower cable across his back. John seemed relentless in his beatings, and his son took them with little complaint; after all, Remus knew that his father was only doing his best to keep the wolf at bay.

Unfortunately, neither of the Lupins realised just how close to the surface the wolf was...

**Authors' Note:**

This story has been co-written by IdiosyncraticSilence (who writes from Remus' point of view;) and Avada-In-The-Skies (who writes as Sirius).


	2. Facing Fears

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:** Two boys - one Dark by nature, one Black by blood. What happens when the two contradictions to the rule meet? Enter the Castle of Destiny, and follow Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, as they battle with themselves and the ever-present Dark forces in thier lives...

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

**Facing Fears**

"Go on," John said coldly, pushing Remus towards the barrier. The young boy turned eyes wide with fear to his father, unsure what to do. "Hurry up and leave, I want to go home and forget about you for a year."

"B-but what d-do I d-d-do?" Remus asked.

"Just go through the damn barrier!" John snapped, shoving his son harder. Remus - wanting to avoid the strange looks that they were getting from the Muggles - picked up the handle of his battered, scratched trunk and dragged it towards the barrier at a quick pace, gold-amber eyes tightly closed in fear.

_'I'm going to run into it, I'm going to run into it, I'm going to run into it!'_ he thought, his other arm sheltering his head. When, after a few seconds, he had not felt impact, he peered through the crook of his elbow and stopped in surprise.

There before him sat the scarlet Hogwarts Express, puffing steam across the platform and giving him blurred vision. Families were dotted around in clusters, hugging children of all ages and wishing them luck for the coming year. Despite himself, Remus felt a pang of jealousy; he could not help but feel that had his mother been alive, his life would have been just like those other children's.

Shaking these thoughts from his head, he kept his eyes to the ground and pulled his trunk to the nearest door to him. Because his father has wanted to get rid of him quickly there were still fifteen minutes or so until the train left, so many of the compartments were empty. Still, he walked as far down the train as he could and claimed the second to last compartment, shoving his trunk underneath the seats and collapsing in the seat closest to the window.

Suddenly overcome with fatigue, he rested his head on the cool window and stared listlessly into the middle-distance, dreaming of the life he could never have.

-----

Sirius bowed his head, his eyes tightly closed, grimacing as he felt the soft wrench of the Portkey. Gripping the ring tighter, he focused on breathing normally as the ground fell away from beneath him, and he tumbled through the sky, through the Blood Wards of Grimmauld, through rainclouds and wind, until he landed smoothly - feet first - at the entrance of the Platform. He took a step forwards, his head held high. The sight of so many people, so many children, families, mudbloods and blood traitors was like a punch to the stomach. Sirius inhaled sharply and found himself instantly looking up into the face of an irate Orion Black.

"Sirius! Control yourself. You are a Black, and I expect you to act like it." The words were soft, and whispered, but his grip on Sirius' shoulder was pure iron, and the accompanying spark of Black Magic was like the bite of a blade. Sirius nodded, breathing out slowly, his eyes clouding over, becoming hard and grey like stones. He turned away from his father, looking back towards the people and-

The train. The Hogwarts Express stood gleaming in the sun, it's paintwork gleaming, crimson red, the colour of strawberries. The very sight warmed Sirius' heart, and he smiled inwardly. He stood silently, patiently waiting next to his father, until he spotted the familiar gleam of pale blonde. Malfoy. Hand in hand with Narcissa. Sirius could practically feel his father stiffen behind him, and his suppressed rage was almost tangible in the air. Sirius himself could barely suppress a sneer. The Malfoy's might be one of the richest Pureblood families in Britain - but at least the Blacks had a sense of propriety. Orion turned to look at his son, his face impassive.

"This is where I shall leave you, Sirius. Remember, your mother and I will be eagerly awaiting the result of your Sorting. Once you are in Slytherin, I expect you to sort the snakes from the flobberworms as we have taught you so to do. Keep yourself out of trouble, and work hard." He paused, and bent down so that he was at eye level with his son. Sirius could feel his heart beating, his blood roaring in his ears. _Say it... Oh please... Please say you'll miss me-_

"Toujours Pur, Sirius. Remember that. Toujours Pur." Orion straightened up and with a swirl of black velvet, and the click of his silver cane, he was gone.

Sirius bit his lip, and turned, sneering, to face his cousin. "Cissy." He drawled. The Malfoy-boy was not worth recognition. Not yet. Not until he stopped treating Narcissa like some sort of floozy, and agreed to marry her, like their parents had commanded. Malfoy sniffed, and picked up Sirius' trunk.

"Come on then, kiddo, we've saved a compartment near the back-" Malfoy stiffened, the wrathful look in Sirius' eyes telling him he'd made a fatal mistake.

"My name is Sirius - or if that's too difficult for you, Master Black will suffice." His voice was steady, but inside, Sirius was shaking. _No one talks to me like that! No one has EVER talked to me like that! What... What is this life going to be like?!_ The thought of home schooling flickering through his head, Sirius frowned irritably, and stalked towards the train, Malfoy tailing behind him like some kind of kicked puppy.

He swept though the main corridor of the train, recoiling slightly from the sheer amount of mudblood filth. He was, in fact, so preoccupied with not letting his robes so much as _brush_ a redheaded mudblood girl, that he walked straight into a tall dark haired kid, making him stagger. He didn't even bother to look up, just shoved his way past, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. He was just about to sweep past another empty compartment, when something made him stop. He glanced up, and felt his heart constrict, for reasons Sirius' couldn't even begin to understand. A young boy was alone in the compartment, curled up, his head resting on the windowpane, so all Sirius could really see was a head of tawny-gold, and a painfully-thin little hand and wrist poking out of excruciatingly shabby robes. There was something... Something about this boy, and Sirius frowned. There was something on the air, something strange, something he could almost taste...

And then Malfoy was behind him, rabbiting away, manhandling him into the neighboring compartment. He kept talking and talking, as the whistle started, and the train pulled away. But as Sirius stared out at the Platform, all he could think about was the strange little boy next-door.

-----

Remus had decided previously that sitting at the end of the train had been both a bad and a good idea; although he could now keep to himself and not embarrass himself by stuttering uncontrollably, but a throbbing feeling deep inside him longed for company - and even, perhaps, a _friend_. It was almost unthinkable, having such a thing as a _friend_, but he still harbored hopes that he would find at least one friend in the forty-or-so students in his year. Maybe he would be lucky for once in his life.

Or maybe not.

A few minutes passed by in lonely silence before he caught sight of movement reflected in his window. A handsome boy - a young man, almost - was stood in the doorway, his raven hair immaculate and his cold, grey eyes somehow seeming to soften. His robes were perfectly fitted and appeared to be lined with what looked like silk, and everything about him screamed that he was a rich pureblood, brought up to be snobbish and ignorant of the problems of others.

Perhaps it was the momentary softness in the boy's eyes that made the wolf in Remus' mind instinctively hate him, but made the human wish to like him. The two opposing personalities battled silently, but before Remus could turn and instigate a conversation, Fate took the opportunity away; a pale older boy whisked the handsome younger one away, and the words hovering on Remus' lips dissolved into nothing.

He was alone again, and fear gripped his heart. He wondered what might have happened had he spoken sooner. Would the boy have sat with him? Would they have talked, become friends? Would he leave him when he found out his secret?

Perhaps it was for the best that he was left alone.

-----

Sirius was bored out of his mind. There was probably some appropriately Black way of phrasing his disgust, but Malfoy was still trying to suck up to him from the earlier mishap, and to be honest it was just more effort than it was worth. He sighed inaudibly, and turned to face the window, his eyes distant and thoughtful.

Eventually, just as Sirius was beginning to drift off to sleep, the pitch-black blur of the countryside became speckled with a distant smudge of gold. He sat up, a small smile spreading helplessly across his face. He heard Malfoy chuckle softly, and whirled round, eyes narrowed. However, instead of a patronizing sneer, the expression on Malfoy's face was almost kind. "Yep, kiddo. Take a good look. That's Hogwarts, your new home for the next seven years! This is where you'll grow up, from the boy you are now to the man you're destined to be...OW!" Malfoy fell silent, and glared at Narcissa, who had just elbowed him in the stomach.

"Sorry, Cousin. Lucius doesn't mean to be so... Patronizing." This made Sirius scowl even more - how dare she presume to know what he was thinking? Even if it was correct... "But really, Cousin, you might think of changing into your Hogwarts robes now. Your Father had a special set made - none of that nasty cheap woolen fabric - it's all fairy-spun if I remember rightly, imported straight from Paris..." Sirius tuned out, ignoring Narcissa's rhapsodies over the benefits of Stain-Repelling-Charms, until one particular phrase caught his attention. "And of course, the Slytherin Crest is already embroidered on the left - hand embroidered you know. A Goblin seamstress, I think..."  
_They... They already chose my House colours?!  
Oh.  
Well.  
That's just...  
Great._

-----

Remus awoke with a jolt as his head banged against a hard surface, and he released a small moan. He had been dreaming that he was going to Hogwarts on the train while a good-looking, dark-haired boy stared at him through the door of the compartment... the train was filled with people who suddenly distrusted him, glaring and whispering while wearing green-and-silver robes... he had been Sorted into a house created especially for him, the sign being a great slavering werewolf on a black background... everyone hated him without knowing him, and a woman was telling him harshly that he could no longer stay at the school...

He wondered if he should bother opening his eyes to the blackness that he knew awaited him; his father would not care if he missed breakfast, after all. He may as well try to sleep again and get back to Hogwarts, hoping that Dream-Remus would be luckier the second time around. And _what_ was that noise? A clattering, clacking noise, echoed with the steady puffs of what he could only assume was his father's heavy breathing. Curiosity tempted him to open his eyes, and what he saw made him smile.

His dream might have been a dream, but there was an element of truth in it; he _was_ going to Hogwarts on the train, and the Sorting had yet to happen. How did he know this? Out of the window that he was leaning against was a tall, imposing castle, every window shining with a light that was the same colour as his eyes, and the train was chugging towards it with a pace that implied that it, too, was excited about reaching the castle.

Despite Remus' underlying worries, the welcoming look of the castle distilled a sense of hope deep within him. His smile refused to fade.


	3. The Sorting

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary: **Two boys: one Dark by nature, one Black by blood. What happens when two contradictions to the rule meet? Enter the Castle of Destiny, and follow Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, as they battle with the ever-present Dark Forces in their lives...

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

**The Sorting**

_I..._

_I must be dreaming._

_This must be some sort of dream..._

No amount of lectures, or diagrams, or first-edition copies of Hogwarts: A History could possibly have prepared Sirius for this. The Castle was a thousand times more exquisite, more decorated, more wonderfully beautiful than the most expensive ballroom he'd danced in, than the grandest mansion he'd laid eyes upon. A million softly-flickering candles cast rosy shadows on the walls, and the golden frames around the portraits gleamed and shone. A ghost drifted past, pearlescent and mysterious. Sirius could feel it, a tingling, squirming feeling in the pit of his stomach. Excitement. This place... This castle... These thick stone walls must hide a thousand secrets! Secrets Sirius couldn't wait to discover.

And then, when they were led through the double doors, and into the Great Hall...

It was magnificent. The House Banners, richly embroidered in glories shades of red and gold and green... The candles shining, the ceiling sparkling with stars... His face may have been impassive, but inwardly, Sirius was practically shaking with awe.

Eventually, McGonagall announced the Sorting, and brought both hat and stool to the front of the Hall. Sirius eyed the battered looking hat with distate, but couldn't help the flicker of fear that appeared in his eyes. So this was the Hat. His father had told him all about it, naturally, so that he wouldn't appear stupid… To keep up the pretence of an all knowing pureblood…

"_Sirius, the Sorting Hat. You will be called to the dais, and you must appear confident, as you know where you will be placed. All Blacks are in Slytherin, they are ALWAYS in Slytherin. Sirius, are you listening to me, Sirius? It's in our blood. We belong in Slytherin House, the greatest, most pure of all the Hogwarts Houses..."_

Sirius flinched slightly, and bit his lip. His father was right. There really was no alternative. He sighed as the Hat sang a song about the four Houses, and McGonagall began to reel off a list of names. At least he wouldn't have long to wait until his destiny caught up with him. Best enjoy these last few seconds of not quite knowing...

He jumped as McGonagall called out, "Black, Sirius!" He held his head high, determined not to give in, determined to face his fate with dignity. He sauntered over to the stool and sat down, jamming the Hat onto his head, for once not worrying about his pristine hair.

_**My my…**_whispered a voice in his ear.

_Yeah yeah,_ thought Sirius bitterly, _I'm a Slytherin, now please, just get this over with. _

_**Don't be so hasty**__,_ chuckled the Hat. _**Let's see then. Well I don't deny you'd be great in Slytherin. Certainly, it's what your parents would approve of, and you're certainly ambitious enough... Then again… You're far too loving for a Slytherin… **_

"What!?" yelled Sirius, and then blushed angrily as he realised he'd shouted aloud.

_**Calm down! Honestly. I can see it though, here in your mind… You're far too loyal, and definitely too brave.**_

_I'm not BRAVE!_ thought Sirius angrily, bitterness seeping through him in a wave of shame. _I'm a coward!_ The Hat sighed.

_**No. You may not stand up to your parents, not yet anyway, but that's just self preservation. A Slytherin trait truly, but also a human one. You are brave enough to walk up here, and accept your fate without complaint - purely for the sake of another. You're little brother... Regulus, is it? You... You want him to have a chance at being the favourite. You want him to be happy... Well isn't that sweet?**_

Sirius, for once, was speechless. _But… I'm a Black, we're… Slytherin! You HAVE to put me there! _The Hat tutted.

_**I don't HAVE to do anything. Besides, I can see it. A spark, deep inside of you… You want to be free. You want to stand up to **__**them; you want to be able to be yourself. So that's what I'm going to give you. A taste of freedom. Not Hufflepuff, you're far too smart. Not Ravenclaw, you're far too rebellious. So that **__**leaves,**_

_NO,_ thought Sirius desperately, _they'll kill me, please, please, NO, not- _

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The Great Hall, for the first time in quite possibly forever, was completely silent.

Sirius was indeed in complete shock. _No... No, what have you done! You stupid Hat, do you have ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE! I'm GOING TO DIE, THEY'LL KILL ME I'M GOING TO DIE I'M GOING TO DIE I'M GOING TO DIE!!_ He was just falling over the line bordering on hysteria, when a soft whisper from the Hat shook him out of his daze. He stood up, handing the hat to a shocked McGonagall, making his way to the Gryffindor table, as the whispers grew steadily louder. Eventually he collapsed onto the bench, and rested his elbows on the table, his head in his hands as the Hall quietened, all mutterings silenced by stern teachers.

_What just happened? I'm a GRYFFINDOR! I must be dreaming! _The Hats words whirled round his head again and again, until he was sure he was going to be sick. _**You'd be great in Slytherin, far too loving, stand up to your parents, accept your fate, for the sake of another, a spark, deep inside of you, stand up to them, be yourself, a taste of freedom, far too rebellious, you'd be great in Slytherin far too loving stand up to your parents accept your fate for the sake of another a spark deep inside of you stand up to them be yourself a taste of freedom far too rebellious stand up to them be yourself a taste of freedom a taste of freedom…**_

_**-----**_

When Remus had first entered the lavishly decorated (but small) room, he had been struck with a sense of awe and power that built upon that he had felt when travelling across the lake in the magical boats – despite the fact that he had sat in a boat on his own, the feeling of loneliness had been demolished at the sight of the majestic castle. The room was plain grey stone, but there were moving portraits and velvet purple-and-gold drapes on the walls. A rather severe-looking woman had greeted them, introducing herself as Professor McGonagall ('Ah, so this is the woman who helped me,' he had thought happily) and the Head of Gryffindor house.

Remus immediately wanted to be in Gryffindor, now knowing that this kind woman would be watching over him, but doubt gnawed at his mind. He knew that his father had been in Hufflepuff and his mother in Ravenclaw, and he wondered if the Sorting went by families. He dearly hoped not, but the doubt was still there. He began to wonder exactly how the Sorting took place; some of his future classmates were whispering about fighting a troll, and he almost fainted in fear. To save him further embarrassment of fainting (he had tripped while stepping off the train, and was still suffering from the after-effects of the laughter and taunting from students of all ages) Professor McGonagall opened the wooden door before them and led them into the Great Hall.

Despite being one of the tallest students in the year group, he suddenly felt dwarfed by the immense size of the room. Four long tables of students lay to his left, each under a banner representing their house, and a fifth sat to his right, occupied with staff members and teachers. A glance upwards made him wonder if there was a ceiling to the room at all, for he could clearly see the night sky, but his mother's voice suddenly drifted into his mind to tell him that it was an enchantment. Candles floated above each table, casting a soft golden light over walls and floor alike, and he could have sworn that he saw the shimmering silver of ghosts dotted around the student tables.

The group of students suddenly stopped, and the shortest of them were standing on their toes to see what was before them. A battered, torn old hat was sat on a stool.

That was it.

No troll. Just a hat.

Remus could not help the sigh of relief that escaped him at that revelation, but he soon became so lost in his worries of houses that he completely missed the hat singing about each house. The applause from students and teachers alike drew him from his musings, and he saw Professor McGonagall unfurl a scroll of parchment. She began to call out names in alphabetical order, each of them placing the hat on their heads and going to whichever table cheered after the hat shouted out a house.

Only a few names in, McGonagall called out, "Black, Sirius!" and the handsome, dark-haired boy from the train stalked forwards confidently to jam the hat on his head. The silence was tangible in the air until Sirius suddenly yelled out and blushed, causing some muttering amongst the students. Remus wondered why it was taking quite so long for the hat to reach a decision; surely the boy would be a Slytherin?

Eventually, though, the hat reached its decision; "GRYFFINDOR!" it yelled, and suddenly silence fell. Students at both the Slytherin and Gryffindor tables looked as though the apocalypse had come, while the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs appeared stunned. Even the teachers had been shocked into silence. Remus wondered exactly what was going on; if the hat had put such an obvious Slytherin in Gryffindor, where on Earth would it put him?

Sirius stood up after a few moments, seemingly in shock, and handed the hat to McGonagall. Muttering now filled the Hall, and students from all houses shot mutinous looks towards Sirius and the hat. Sirius half-staggered towards the Gryffindor table before collapsing – students seemed to move away from him, as though the Slytherin-ness was catching, and it was then that teachers stopped the whispers. A wave of sympathy crashed over Remus, and he wondered how hellish this pureblood's life was going to be.

When the Sorting had begun again and McGonagall had returned to the list of names, it did not take long before she reached, "Lupin, Remus!" Remus jumped out of his skin, so on edge was he, and he slowly made his way to the stool. As he walked, he could feel the eyes of the staff following him carefully, and the wolf in him smelt a mixture of pity and intolerance emanating from them; McGonagall, however, smiled encouragingly, and an old man with a long, silver beard behind her was watching him with curiosity. Despite McGonagall's letter that assured him that his life here would be free of prejudice from teachers, he began to wonder if she had been telling the truth. He reached the hat momentarily and placed it carefully on his head, sitting down on the stool as he did so. Even now, he could feel the eyes upon him.

_**Ah, Remus Lupin,**_the hat murmured in his ear, amusement seeming to lace its words._**So you're the werewolf that has caused Professor Dumbledore so much grief…**_

Remus suddenly panicked._ I d-didn't m-m-mean to, _he insisted worriedly.

_**I'm sure you didn't, but you did. However, let us talk of the task at hand. Where should I put you…?**_

_I don't m-m-mind, _Remus said._ Y-you're the h-h-hat, n-not me._

The hat chuckled._**Indeed I am. Now, you'd be no good in Slytherin, no good at all… too kind. Much too smart to be in Hufflepuff, though. I wonder, however, if the Ravenclaws would figure out your secret…**_The hat hummed to itself_. __**I seem to have solved my own problem. The bravery in your heart speaks volumes, after all.**_

_B-but I'm n-n-not brave __at all! _Remus claimed, suddenly worried at his wish to be in Gryffindor_._

The hat laughed again_. __**Not brave, he says…**_And then it shouted aloud, "GRYFFINDOR!" and Remus nearly fell off the stool in surprise. Tumultuous applause erupted from the Gryffindor table, the students of which seemed highly grateful that the only other Gryffindor boy of the year so far did not bring about Armageddon. Remus pulled the hat off his tawny hair and stood, reeling in shock, before handing it to McGonagall – ignoring her pleased smile – and stumbling down to the Gryffindor table.

He sat down in the empty space surrounding young Sirius Black, though on the other side of the table. A Sixth Year to his right smiled at him, ignoring the other First Year with his head in his hands. "Welcome to Gryffindor, Lupin!" she said happily, before returning her gaze to the Sorting.

Remus did not know what to say.

-----

Sirius was so preoccupied with being semi-catatonic with shock that he missed the remainder of the Sorting, only daring to look up when McGonagall took away the Hat, and the Feast began.

He raised his head slowly, grey eyes taking in the golden plates brimming with steaming, delicious-smelling food, and the students laughing and chatting away. And the empty seats all around him. _Oh. Great._

Sighing, he reached for his goblet, and the crystal jug of what he presumed was pumpkin juice. He had only just poured himself a glass, and was taking a tentative sip, when an almighty clap on the shoulder made him choke, juice dribbling down his robes. "That's IT!"  
Snarling, he slammed the goblet down on the table, making the plates close to him rattle. He looked round, eyes blazing, totally prepared to give this idiot a piece of his mind - and froze.

A skinny, dark-haired kid with enormous glasses was sitting there, grinning at him. Sirius blinked. The boy was still there, and now he was waving, and talking in an insufferably loud voice. Sirius' eye twitched. The kid was eating potatoes now - and _still_ talking. Sirius scrunched up his nose in disgust. Enough was enough.

"Who the HELL are YOU?!" The strange boy blinked, and swallowed, seemingly unfazed by the rude tone. He wiped a potato-y hand on his robes, and stuck it out in front of him, still grinning.

"I already said, I'm James Potter, fellow First-Year Gryffindor - though I actually knew I was gonna be sorted here, there was really no question - seemed like the Hat agreed 'cos it only took like a second to make up its mind - not like with you, I thought you'd broken it or something, and well, a Black in Gryffindor, I think EVERYONE thought it was broken to be perfectly honest, but never mind because you're here now and that's what counts - these potatoes are EXCELLENT by the way, here, have some!" Sirius blinked again. Potter had begun spooning mashed potatoes frantically onto Sirius' plate, and though - _thank every god in heaven,_ he had stopped talking, he was now whistling a tune. An insanely catchy tune. Possibly some sort of Quidditch chant...

Sirius glared down at his potato-covered plate in disgust. Potter had fallen silent, and was now blinking at him furiously.

"Here, you don't say much, do you? I-"

"I hate potatoes."

Potter stared at Sirius, mouth hanging open. Sirius stared back, face impassive. They stayed like that for a moment. Sirius would later say it was one of the longest, most painful moments of his entire life - like his entire destiny depended on those few brief seconds. Eventually, though, Potter just swallowed loudly, and passed him the gravy boat.

Sirius shrugged, and accepted the gravy with a mumbled "Thanks Potter." Potter just grinned back and nodded inanely - even though Sirius hadn't asked him anything.

"You're welcome! Call me James though." He said the last part somewhat hurriedly, as though afraid Sirius would refuse.

Instead, the Black heir simply scooped up a forkful of potatoes-and-gravy and muttered, "If these potatoes kill me, James, there will be hell to pay."

James grinned. "How on earth would a potato kill you?! It's not like it's a sentient being!"

Sirius looked at him darkly. "Don't be so sure..."

As he chewed a mouthful of gravy-potatoey-mush, his ears ringing with James' laughter, Sirius felt the happiest he'd felt in days. Maybe Gryffindor wasn't so bad after all. Just maybe...

And maybe, Sirius decided, he really did love potatoes after all.

-----

The rest of the Sorting passed by without any more eventful surprises, not that Remus had been paying any attention. He was still bowled over in surprise, pinching his arm every now and again to ensure that he was not dreaming.

He was at _Hogwarts_, and he was in _Gryffindor_.

He had been wondering about the hat's words to him, recounting the conversation in his head endlessly. It could not have possibly been right, after all, for Remus had never felt brave in his life. _Perhaps I _would_ have been better off in Hufflepuff,_ he thought sadly, absentmindedly staring over at the long table beneath the yellow banner. _There's no way I'm a Gryffindor. I'll go and find Professor McGonagall after we leave and ask if I can change houses. It just doesn't feel_ right,_ here._

So, with his mind resolutely made up, he glanced down at the table to see the golden plates suddenly stacked with food; he had been so immersed in his thoughts that he had failed to see the food materialise and hear people begin to talk loudly to their friends. The Sixth Year next to him was chatting loudly with another about Quidditch (something about the Chudley Cannons), and everyone around him was enveloped in conversation... all but Sirius Black opposite him.

The wolf became highly amused at the sight of the boy's dejected face, but Remus suppressed it with difficulty. From what his sharp hearing could pick up, almost every Black to attend Hogwarts had been a Slytherin. Having one in Gryffindor was unthinkable. Sirius looked set to be an outcast not only in his house, but in the entire school (and, most likely, at home - Remus could not help but wonder how badly the boy's parents would take this surprising news). Despite his surely awful future, Remus felt a surge of hope; perhaps he would not be the only outcast in the school.

Perhaps they really _could_ be friends.

He was just about to speak to him when another dark-haired boy suddenly sat down beside Sirius, grinning almost insanely, and starting up a rather one-sided conversation. The new boy (James Potter, Remus thought he had said) was speaking so rapidly that Sirius could hardly get a work in edgeways, and Remus' bubble of hope began to burst. It did not take long for Sirius to reply to James' inane chattering, and Remus lowered his head again. Now that someone was actually _talking_ to Sirius, he suddenly felt more alone than he had felt so far at Hogwarts.

Having renewed his promise to speak to McGonagall about the house change, he turned his mind to food. The table was so covered in food that the wood beneath the plates was almost invisible, and he could not help the small gasp that escaped him. He had never been offered a choice in his life (well, not that he could remember), and certainly never a choice of food. The plates before him were mind-boggling. He did not deserve to eat any of this Gryffindor food, but his stomach protested otherwise. Finally giving in to his animal instinct, he searched the mounds of food for a nearby plate of meat.

It was just his luck that it was next to James Potter.

It took Remus a minute or so to build up the confidence to interrupt James's almost non-stop chatter. Although he was happy to just eat a slice of bread, the wolf was complaining; it was only four nights until the full moon, after all, and it had never been allowed meat. No wonder it was the craving that decided the normally-timid Remus' actions.

"Um, e-excuse me, b-b-but could you p-please pass m-m-me the m-meat plate?"

Remus felt like screaming. Surely, now, everyone would see just how much of a pariah he could be.

-----

Sirius hadn't spoken again after the comment on the potatoes, but James was talking more than enough for both of them.

Consequently, it was Sirius, not James who heard the faint, stuttering voice of the boy opposite, asking for the meat. Sirius looked over, and would have jumped with surprise were it not for eleven solid years of Black discipline.

Sirius knew it was the tawny-haired boy from the train - his thin frame and vaguely hunched posture were unmistakable. It looked as though he wanted to disappear. Sirius wanted to say something, to reassure, something, anything...

But for once, his normally eloquent speech failed him, and he just nodded, and passed the plate.

-----

Cringing inwardly (and probably outwardly, too), Remus was about to revoke his question when the plate suddenly appeared in his field of vision; although nothing had been said, Sirius had, indeed, passed the meat. With slightly shaking hands, he reached out and took the plate from him, trying to smile - he suspected that it was more of an awkward look of pain or embarrassment, but he thought it best to at least try.

"Th-th-thank y-you," he stammered, placing the golden plate beside him and looking down at the table again.

He had not missed the look of what could have been sympathy in Sirius's stormy eyes, however.

Unable to face looking at the half-compassionate faces opposite him, Remus picked up his knife and fork and moved a single slice of a red-brown meat onto his plate before pushing it back into the middle. He reached blindly for another plate, pulling the potatoes that the boys had been talking about towards him. He placed half a spoonful next to his meat and cut a strip from said meat, examining it quickly. When he placed it in his mouth, he thought that he had died and gone to heaven.

He did not think he had ever tasted something so good. It was soft, perfectly cooked and perfectly rare - the iron-rich food had satisfied his primal urges, for now. Completely ignoring the potato, he finished the meat in record time before returning for more. Now completely oblivious to the boys opposite him, Remus let himself sink into a half-feral state of bliss; if Hogwarts offered this every day, the wolf would certainly love it here.

-----

Sirius hardly dared to look up again throughout the rest of the feast, glancing at the other boy only once more. Apart from eating what Sirius considered to be overcooked meat with a semi-rapturous expression, the kid did nothing unusual. There was just something... Something out-of-place, something different...

Thankfully, Sirius had James next to him, and every time Sirius began to brood, James would make an inane comment about Dumbledore, or the enchanted ceiling, or the 'icky vile-ness of the sprouts', and Sirius would forget entirely about their fellow Gryffindor.

-----

As delicious as Remus found the meat, he could not possibly eat any more than two and a half slices of it before he found himself perfectly full. He had never had the luck of being offered such a range of food in such vast amounts, and he felt wonderful... until dessert appeared. He caught sight of a _huge_ chocolate cake, and he barely stifled a groan of longing; chocolate was Remus' favourite food, but he just could not physically eat any more. He promised himself that tomorrow he would save room for it.

Just before the food disappeared into nothing, Professor McGonagall appeared behind him. "Mister Lupin, Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office after the feast," she informed him.

Remus glanced up at her, golden eyes wide. "I-is this about y-y-you know w-what?" he asked quietly, and she nodded.

"I'll get someone to show you to your Common Room later," she promised before walking back to the staff table to take her place next to Professor Dumbledore.

-----

Three hours and an entire chocolate gateau later, and the Feast was over. Dumbledore stood, and bid them all goodnight - not that either Sirius or James was listening. The idea of a friendship was entirely new to Sirius, but the acquaintance so far seemed to be worthwhile. _At any rate, _Sirius thought decisively, _I'll need some allies in Gryffindor should the whole of Slytherin turn against me._


	4. Gryffindor Boys

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

**Gryffindor Boys**

Sirius and James had made it to Gryffindor in record time, with the help of two secret passages and a moving staircase. James' father had already told him about a few of the castles more mysterious attributes - such as the numerous secret passages, and how to summon the Hogwarts poltergeist. Though they had yet to attempt to communicate with the ghost, it was definitely high on the boy's list of priorities. Sirius couldn't help but notice that the castle itself seemed to be willing them on as they hurtled towards Gryffindor Tower. Portraits shouted helpful directions, and the corridors seemed to almost shrink, doors flying past as the ran, laughing, towards their new home.

Eventually, the Prefects had arrived and found the two boys leaning slumped against the stone wall, chatting happily to the Gryffindor guardian, the Fat Lady. He had muttered the password, and the two First Years grinned as the portrait swung open, revealing the Common Room.

It was perhaps a little too... _cosy_ for Sirius' tastes, and the tapestries on the walls didn't match carpets. But the fire was crackling invitingly, and James was already racing towards the staircases.

The Dormitory was much more to Sirius' liking. The wooden panelled walls reminded him of his bedroom at Grimmauld Place, and the beds were regal-looking four posters, with velvet curtains. Sirius nodded approvingly. _Nice..._

James bounded over to the bed nearest the bathroom, in a desperate bid to stake his claim - only to find it occupied. A podgy, blonde haired boy was sitting on the bed, eating what Sirius could only describe as a hideously sticky mess of pastry-and-icing. James blinked, shrugged, and smiled. "Well hi there! I'm James Potter, it's a pleasure to meet you! You're Peter Pettigrew aren't you, I saw you at the Sorting! Isn't it so exciting, we're all gonna be DORM MATES together! I think we're gonna be the best of friends, aren't you just super excited about being a Gryffindor though? And what dyou think you're best lessons gonna be? Which teacher dyou think looks nicest? I'm thinking that they all look pretty decent - and isn't Professor Dumbledore amazing..." James prattled on, shaking Pettigrew's hand with such enthusiasm that Sirius was sure he was going to pull it off. Eventually, he took pity on the poor boy.

"James, James. Relax, will you? Pettigrew looks like he's going to suffer a terror-induced bout of incontinence if you keep that up." James laughed, and released Peters hand bouncing over to investigate the bed next to the chubby boys.

"Hey, this ones mine! My trunk already here! Awesome! I've got some Mint Humbugs somewhere..." Sirius rolled his eyes and James dived in to inspect his trunk, and turned back towards their room-mate. "Sirius Black," he drawled.

"P...Peter Pettigrew," squeaked Peter, holding out his hand, and Sirius inwardly recoiled at the sight of crumbs and smeared chocolate, globules of custard stuck under his fingernails. He couldn't help the slight curl of his lip any more than the sarcasm that bled into his voice as he replied, "Charmed, I'm sure."

-----

Remus was standing outside the Gryffindor Common room, his mind in turmoil. He had been taken to Professor Dumbledore's office, where they had discussed his condition as though it was the most normal thing in the world. Dumbledore was friendly and kind - which made the wolf immediately hate him - but he seemed to have a permanent twinkle in his eye that made him seem younger than he really was. He had not even mentioned the boy's stutter nor had he mentioned his shabby robes, but Remus had the uncanny feeling that the man had noticed his thinness despite his baggy clothes. He was sure that Dumbledore knew everything.

Remus had felt angry at one point, however, when the headmaster refused to let him change houses. "You have some good classmates. I'm sure you'll fit right in," he had said, his eyes twinkling incessantly. "It will feel like home in no time at all."

Despite Remus' pleading, he was still in Gryffindor.

Professor McGonagall had returned to show Remus to his common room and had tried to engage him in conversation, but he was reluctant to talk any more. He suddenly felt numb rather than angry, and his legs were leaden with tiredness. He had been told the password before McGonagall left, and he was trying to put off facing the already-dynamic duo of Sirius Black and James Potter for as long as possible.

Sooner rather than later, the candles on the corridor walls extinguished themselves and Remus had no choice but to enter the now empty common room. The dormitories were easy enough to find and he dragged himself up the stairs, hoping that Black and Potter had fallen asleep by now. As he opened the door with the plaque proclaiming 'First Years', however, he realised his hopes had been futile.

Not only were Black and Potter wide awake, but so was a chubby boy that Remus vaguely recalled from the Gryffindor table.

He just wasn't going to get any luck, was he?

Keeping his topaz eyes trained to the floor, he hurried over to the remaining bed - which, he was unhappy to see, had his extremely battered trunk placed prominently at the end of it - before picking his pyjamas out from the mess in his trunk. He glanced up at this point and spotted another door, which he supposed led to a bathroom. After a quick glance to ensure that none of his roommates had already occupied it, he nigh on ran to the door and into the bathroom, sliding down the cool, tiled wall and resting his forehead against it in despair.

_Why_ was nothing working out for him?

-----

Sirius blinked in surprise as he looked up from their game of Exploding Snap just in time to see Remus Lupin sneak into the room, take one look around, and pelt off to the bathroom. _Maybe all that meat's taking it toll..._ Sirius grimaced in disgust, but before he could get too confused by the other boy's strangeness, he was distracted by the piled up cards exploding in James' face. Chuckling, he restored the sulking boy's eyebrows with a handy charm that his cousin Andromeda had taught him years ago.

They quickly decided that it was time for bed, and scrambled around for their pyjamas. Peter had some cotton muggle pyjamas, but Sirius was strangely thankful to find that James had the same pureblood style of nightwear as him - a loose nightshirt (though Sirius' was black silk and had heavily embroidered silver cuffs, whereas James' was red cotton and plain,) and matching drawstring-trousers.

James fell asleep in a matter of seconds, his snores echoing alongside Peter's snuffly breathing. Sirius, however, would simply not allow himself to go to sleep without brushing his teeth, so he fished out his Transfiguration book, plonked himself on his bed, and waited.

-----

Remus lost track of how long he spent with his head against the wall, but he eventually got to his feet. The first thing he saw was his deathly pale face, the four scars on his right cheek somehow darker than his skin. His golden eyes were wide and tired, his tawny hair messed and almost covering his face. He ran his long fingers through the strands in an effort to neaten it, but tiredness caused him to give up.

Hardly able to stay awake now, he turned from the mirror as he undressed, unwilling to see his scarred body and jutting ribs. Pulling on his too-short trousers and threadbare button-up top, he scooped his clothes into his arms before placing his sensitive ear to the door to hear the silence beyond. Unless his roommates were being unusually quiet, they were asleep. A sigh of relief escaped him as he pushed the door open.

Unfortunately for him, his roommates were _not_ all asleep.

Sirius Black was sat on his bed, his nose in a book.

Remus froze in the doorway for a split second, but he merely lowered his gaze again before picking his way over to his bed. He placed his clothes in his trunk before he dared to look up again, but not at Sirius. He was suddenly in a state of shock, for his bed was so different to the thin, leaking mattress that he was used to. He was against making a fool of himself in front of his roommate, however, and snapped himself out of it before cautiously lifting the scarlet bedclothes and sinking onto the soft mattress.

For the second time that evening, Remus thought that he was in heaven.

-----

It only took Sirius a couple of minutes to find his toothbrush and finish in the bathroom, humming slightly as he tugged his hair back into a low ponytail, binding it with a piece of soft grey ribbon. He wandered back into the room, and was just about to pull his curtains closed when the only other conscious member of the Dormitory caught his eye, and something stayed his hand. He blinked a couple of times, before the words found his lips, and he muttered, a quiet "Goodnight" before pulling his hangings shut and flopping back into his pillows.

It was only when he was drifting off to sleep that Sirius realised he didn't even know the other Gryffindors name.

-----

Remus had been completely oblivious to his surroundings, immersed completely in the comfort of his new bed. Until, of course, his enhanced hearing picked up a quiet noise from the other side of the room which brought his mind crashing back down to Earth.

"Goodnight," muttered Black quietly, before the soft sound of curtains closing signified the end of the almost non-existent conversation. Remus, however, sat up in surprise. He could not recall _ever_ being wished a good night before, let alone from someone who had never spoken to him before. Was it ironic that Black's first word to Remus was "Goodnight"? Possibly. But Remus did not seem to care.

"Goodnight," he whispered back, but his voice was so quiet that he doubted the other boy would hear him. Not fully registering the fact that his comfy bed had curtains, he laid down and fell asleep within a few short minutes. Only now could Remus begin to appreciate Dumbledore's earlier words: _"It will feel like home in no time at all."_

_'Perhaps,'_ Remus sleepily thought, _'if my roommates become friendly, then this bed won't be the only thing keeping me here.'_

_-----_

It had to have been one of the worst nights sleep Sirius had ever had.

Ever.

He slept fitfully, tossing and turning, his dreams hazy and unpleasant like Sahara heat. Eventually, morning came, and dread settled in the pit of his stomach - a great lead weight, poisonous and heavy. _My parents will know by now... Ohgod... They'll know..._ He sighed and rolled over, yanking his scarlet duvet over his head, trying desperately to imagine he was back home at Grimmauld, where he hid from his parents, skulking in the shadows, keeping himself out of the way. _Of course... The shadows hid other things too. Strange, terrible things..._

Sirius let out a frustrated groan. Why couldn't he just stop thinking? It was way to early in the morning to be thinking...

-----

Remus awoke with a jolt, sitting bolt upright with his eyes wide open. It took him a moment to take in his unfamiliar surroundings, the brightness of this room, and the softness of the bed, and his heart began to slow.

His usual nightmare had been different, this time. Of course he pictured the werewolf and his mother, that was never-ending, but there were others there now. Standing in the shadows, watching every movement, were his housemates - Potter, Black, and that blonde boy. Their expressions changed from shock to revulsion as they took in Remus' bloodied form, bruised and scarred and broken by the werewolf. None of them wanted to share a dormitory with a stuttering, socially-awkward _normal_ boy, let alone a werewolf. As Black threatened to tell the entire student body, Remus woke up.

As his heart calmed, he noticed the snores and snuffles of his sleeping dorm-mates. Only two of them, however; Black was silent. Perhaps he was already awake? He glanced over to the other boy's bed to see still-drawn curtains, suddenly noticing his own. Still, it appeared that if Black _was_, indeed, awake, he did not want to get up. Remus took advantage of the solitude to grab some clothes before going to the bathroom in utter silence.

-----

Sirius groaned as someone got up and all hope of drifting back to sleep withered and died. He sighed and sat up, rubbing his face tiredly. He drew back his curtains, and thought about getting up. Unfortunately, his mind was so filled with sleep and nightmares, that all he did was sit there, staring off into space, his grey eyes wide and vacant.

By his side, James' snores thundered on.

-----

Remus returned from the bathroom after fifteen minutes or so, having struggled to figure out how to work the shower (he could hardly work the one at home, let alone here) so that he could take a well-deserved wash. He refused to look at his emaciated body as he washed the soap suds from his hair, and averted his gaze from the mirror as he grabbed a fluffy white towel emblazoned with the Hogwarts crest to dry himself off. (If he had thought the _shower_ was amazing, the _towel_ was above and beyond even that - his father had only ever given him rough, old, ragged towels at home, so he had had no idea just how soft towels could be.)

He shook his hair from his face in a decidedly wolf-like manner as he reached his bed, carefully folding his pyjamas and making his bed as though they were the most precious things in the world. It was only then that he noticed Black sitting up in his own bed, his stormy eyes empty. Remus jumped, startled, and looked away. "I-I'm s-s-sorry if I d-disturbed you," he mumbled awkwardly, before he turned and fled from the dormitory without a backwards glance.

-----

Sirius was shaken from his daydreams as the tawny-haired boy from yesterday came back into the room, his hair still damp and tufty from the shower. He stammered an awkward apology and fled, leaving Sirius sitting stunned on his bed.

_What the hell is wrong with that kid!_ Sirius shook his head irritably, and muddled off to the shower, to lose his thoughts in the hot steam.

When he eventually came back out of the bathroom, dressed in a pair of plain day robes (plain to Sirius anyway - in actual fact they were black velvet, with silver spun edging, and costing upwards of 100 Galleons;) his hair loose and immaculately styled, James was still asleep. Rolling his eyes, he cast a simple water charm all over the other boys face, causing him to sit bolt upright in bed, his startled yell waking Peter too. Sirius grinned wryly.

"Stop causing such a commotion and get dressed, Potter - I'm sure breakfast has already begun."

He left in a swirl of robes, before James could realise that it was in fact only six in the morning - and breakfast didn't start for another hour.


	5. Defence Against the Darkness

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

**Defense Against the Darkness**

Despite having left the dormitory at an ungodly hour, Remus was late to breakfast. As he had wandered downstairs, Professor McGonagall had sidetracked him to show him the Whomping Willow that Professor Dumbledore had mentioned last night. The castle grounds had enamoured him, and after McGonagall had left him he made his way down to the nearby lake to sit and watch the sunrise. He had soon become lost in thoughts and worries and had lost track of the time, not standing up until about a quarter-past seven.

The Great Hall still looked as spectacular as it had last night, but the candles floated unlit and the sky was the most wonderful shade of blue. The house tables were slowly filling up as students awoke on their first day of lessons, some seeming eager for their timetables while others were still half asleep. Remus slid onto the bench apart from everyone else - partly because he did not want to speak to anyone, partly because he was ashamed of his tattered robes - before his nose picked up the scent of meat. He did not hesitate to help himself to some bacon, but he made a mental note to try some _buttered_ toast for the first time in his memory.

God, did it taste good.

-----

Sirius sat down smoothly, but hadn't even had time to pick up his goblet when he was interrupted by an irate Professor McGonagall. "Mr Black!" she hissed furiously, her lips pursed and white. "While you may think yourself above the rest of the... less-privileged students here, it is compulsory to wear school uniform, as well you know! Go and get changed this instant!"

Sirius sat there, stunned. _So this is what they think of me._ He thought bitterly. _This is who they think I am. Some pureblood supremacist with a Galleon for a heart._

He sighed, and turned on the charm - well rehearsed after years of sucking up to the rich wizards at his father's dinner parties. "I'm terribly sorry, Professor McGonagall, I didn't mean to imply I felt I was above the rules..." His voice was the perfect blend of sincerity and horrified apologetic contricity, and he continued. "I just... I just..." He tailed off into silence, biting his lip, and widening his already large grey eyes. Professor McGonagall frowned, but with less severity then before. Encouraged, Sirius continued, his voice quiet and sorrowful.

"It's just... My father bought me... He only bought me Slytherin robes... So, I was going to wait until my first Transfiguration lesson, so I could correct them. I... I thought that would be acceptable, and I'm terribly sorry to have caused you any inconvenience." His voice hitched slightly, and McGonagall took one look at his shining eyes, and seemed to melt.

"That's quite alright, Mr. Black. I too am sorry. It seems I misjudged the situation, and it was very wrong of me to do so. However, I think it will be Charms that you need, not Transfiguration. Why don't you go and have a chat to Professor Flitwick later on - I'm sure he'll be able to help you." Sirius smiled politely and thanked her, but the moment she turned away, he rolled his eyes and stared darkly at his still-empty plate.

----

Remus glanced up from his food as Professor McGonagall approached the table, but she headed instead for Black, who was sat slightly further down the table. Despite their low tones he picked up every word, and could not help but wonder; if Black's parents had so expected him to be in Slytherin, just how would they react? However, it was none of his business. It was not as if Black talked to him anyway (well, talked _regularly_, he amended), and he was not a naturally nosy person. He decided to put it behind him and leave Black to his own devices.

Like last night, he hardly ate a thing before being full. A few slices of bacon and a bit of buttery toast filled him up quite substantially, and he was about to get up and leave the table when McGonagall returned, this time distributing rolls of parchment. As she reached Remus, she gave him his with a smile. "If I remember rightly, Mister Lupin, you have Transfiguration with me tomorrow morning," she said. "I look forward to seeing you." And then she was off, handing out more rolls of parchment.

Remus opened his curiously, glancing at his lesson plan. McGonagall was correct - he had Transfiguration first thing tomorrow - but today his first lesson was double Defence Against the Dark Arts. And although he felt a rush of excitement about his first lesson, he was also fearful.

What if he was not magical?

-----

Sirius scarcely glanced at his timetable - just noting mentally his first few lessons before losing interest and tucking it into an inner pocket of his robes. He reached again for the toast rack - but was once more interrupted.

By the post.

He spotted his father's midnight-coloured eagle owl instantly, and felt his face pale at the black scroll clasped in its talons. The owl landed on his forearm, and he had only just unfastened the scroll with unnoticeably shaking hands, when it took off - its specially sharpened claws tearing through his robes, gouging his skin. He grimaced, a deep breath as his robes self-repaired his only reaction. He stared at the scroll, fastened with a black ribbon, and the Black crest in silver wax, not quite daring to touch it. He could almost taste the rotten stink of Dark Magic, and sighed.

-----

Remus glanced up in surprise as the post arrived all at once, hundreds of owls flying into the Great Hall and seeking out their owners. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing from his father. He stood up, prepared to leave, when he saw Black receive a letter on parchment as black as his name. The stench of dark magic was almost overpowering to his lycanthropic senses, and without a backwards glance he left the room, almost gagging at the smell. He would go and get his books and go to his lesson; Black could suffer what Remus expected to be his parent's disapproval without him there to watch.

-----

Sirius didn't know how long he sat there for, staring blankly at his letter. All he knew was that it must have been nearly eight when James arrived, his loud voice making him jump half out of his skin.

James must have noticed his pale complexion, or his nearly violent trembling, because he frowned, and said in an almost quiet voice, "Hey, Sirius. You alright there mate?"

Perhaps it was his sympathetic voice, or the soft, tentative understanding, but something about the other boy just made Sirius' blood boil and he stood up, snarling. "I'm not your MATE, Potter! Just mind your own business!"

He snatched up the letter, shivering as the Dark Magic bit into his veins, spreading like ice towards his heart, and left the Great Hall before anyone could glimpse the tears welling in his silver eyes.

Sirius was the first to arrive at the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, letter still clenched in his fist. Eventually, he saw sense enough to stuff it away in the depths of his bag, running a shaking hand over his face. _God. That's just what I need, first day at school. And first lesson too. Taking a Dark Artefact into a Defence lesson. That's just... God. That's just typical._

He shook his head hopelessly, and leant back, his head resting on cool stone, and settled in for a long wait.

-----

Remus - having grabbed his shabby bag and second-hand text book - made his way hastily to his first lesson, unwilling to be late. His watch showed the time to be only eight forty-nine, but he did not wish to lose himself in the endless corridors. Eventually (well, about two minutes later) he arrived at his classroom... only to find Sirius Black standing outside, his head against the wall.

Their relationship being less than friendly, Remus opted to say nothing. He went and stood by the other boy, but made sure he stayed a few metres away from him. The stench of Dark Magic still surrounded him, and it took all of Remus' willpower not to run away.

-----

Sirius was aware of another person lurking in the corridor, and looked up sharply, his Black mask snapping back into place. It was that Gryffindor boy, from the train. Sirius scowled. Hell would have to freeze over before he let this weirdo see him looking miserable and afraid.

-----

From the corner of his peripheral vision, Remus noticed Black scowl as he raised his head and caught sight of him, and he cringed. "I-I'm s-s-sorry if I d-disturbed y-you," he stammered quietly, taking a step further away from the other boy. He was saved further embarrassment by the classroom door opening spookily, almost inviting them in. Without another glance at Black, he stepped past him and into the room. He did not walk for long, though, as the scent of... _something_ hit his nose.

Behind the desk sat a tall, thin man with exceptionally pale skin and sunken black eyes, his dark hair cropped short. He suddenly glanced up as Remus entered, his nostrils flaring and his eyes narrowing.

Remus grew cold as the wolf inside him growled threateningly, unconsciously snarling at the man. He suddenly had a _very_ bad feeling about this lesson...

-----

Sirius sighed as the boy scuttled off into the classroom. _Way to go, Sirius. Way. To. Go._ He rolled his eyes and followed the other Gryffindor into the classroom, last-nights excitement coiling in his stomach again at the sight of the room full of Dark Detectors and textbooks. He was going to learn magic for the first time! Well, official, legal magic anyway...

The teacher caught his eye and smiled slightly, gesturing towards a seat at the front. Sirius raised an eyebrow, but did as he was told and sat, as did the other students who were slowly arriving. James slipped into the seat next to him, not saying a word.

-----

When the teacher finally looked away from Remus to catch Black's eye, he physically wilted before making his way to the very back corner of the classroom, trying to put as much distance between him and the strange man as possible. Keeping his gaze down, he sat in the wooden chair and took his equipment from his bag - parchment, quill, ink, textbook, wand.

The wolf was on edge, keeping Remus' senses on red alert. The strange smell saturated the classroom to such an extent that the scent of Dark Magic was drowned out, and when he finally looked up again he refused to take his golden eyes from the teacher, completely ignoring all of the dark detectors around the room. As excited as he had been to learn magic, he wished for this lesson to be over immediately.

He felt ill. He just wanted to be sick from the stench, but he would not allow himself to do so. _'Get this over with,'_ he thought angrily, staring at the strange man before him.

-----

"Good Morning, class. My name is Professor Highgate, and I am going to be teaching you one of the most useful - not to mention exciting - forms of magic there is. Defence Against the Dark Arts."

Sirius was sitting straight-backed in his chair, his eyes staring vacantly at the teacher, his mind already miles away. It was quite clear that the teacher was just like every other tutor he'd ever had, and Sirius' respect for the man was quite frankly, non-existent.

"The Dark Arts are one of the rarest, and purest forms of magic that exist in today's magical world. Some people say that Dark Magic has existed since before time itself. Consequently, Dark spells take an enormous amount of power, and knowledge to perform. Most of you sitting before me couldn't cast a truly Dark spell if your lives depended on it. But others can. And they will. So, I am going to teach you how to use the more basic, Light spells to defend yourselves against these... Dark Wizards. We are going to start with the most simple - a disarming spell."

Sirius frowned, angry. He knew the disarming spell - Expelliarmus, wasn't it? Why were they starting with something so simple? _What happened to Reductor charms, and curses of Fiendfyre? Where were the exciting, limb amputating duelling-techniques? The non-verbal, unnoticeable hexes that would have an opponent on the floor screaming before they even realised that their eyes had burst out of their heads? What happened to the Unforgivables?!_

-----

Despite Remus' unwavering gaze of irrational hatred, he listened closely to every word this Professor Highgate said. The disarming spell, he said... it rang a bell in his mind, from the chances he had had to read his books. _'Expelliarmus,'_ his mother's voice reminded him, and he recalled. The only good thing about his lycanthropy was his near-photographic memory, and the spell word brought the page flying back to him. Remembering the definition, the effects and the wand movements, he suddenly felt more prepared for the lesson.

_'Surely this can't be_ that _difficult?'_ he reasoned, determined to show himself (and the professor) that he could, indeed, do magic.

-----

They were instructed to partner up, and Sirius found himself accepting an apology from a shamefaced James. Sirius raised his wand, and was just about to cast the spell, when Highgate started talking again.

"Remember! The first student to successfully disarm his opponent, gets to duel me at the end of term. Wands at the ready... Go!"

Sirius wasted no time in brandishing his wand at James, and with a quick bark of "EXPELLIARMUS!" James' wand was flying into his outstretched hand, Potter himself flying backwards into a desk. Sirius fought the urge to grin, and tossed the wand up in the air, catching it again.

_And that,_ thought Sirius smugly, _is how its done._

-----

Remus was left without a partner, but Professor Highgate either did not notice or did not care. He was about to confront the teacher when Black fired a rather spectacular spell towards his partner (Potter, naturally) and sent him flying into a desk, much to Highgate's carefully controlled surprise. He raised an eyebrow before walking to Potter's fallen form, placing his hand on his pulse point. "An impressive spell, Mister Black, I must say," he said coolly, "but it appears that Mister Potter is unconscious." He stood and pointed to a greasy-haired Slytherin boy, while conjuring a stretcher from midair. "You, take him to the hospital wing," he ordered, and the boy did not hesitate to obey, walking from the room while the laden stretcher eerily followed him. "Now, Mister Black, it appears you no longer have a partner. You are to work with Mister Lupin."

Remus could have sworn his heart stopped in sudden fear.

-----

Sirius looked around slowly, just _knowing_ before he saw his new partner who it would be. _Lupin..._ For some reason, the name was perfect, and Sirius felt like he had somehow known it all along. However, instead of asking Lupin for his first name, he simply shrugged and wandered over to face the other boy, still mentally cheering over the fact that he got to duel the teacher at the end of the year. _He's going to regret suggesting that..._

-----

As Black began to walk over to him, Remus felt another pang of fear. _'What if he knocks_ me_ flying like Potter?'_ he thought rapidly. _'What if I can't do anything and he just laughs?'_ He did not get a chance to think any more, though, for Black was now facing him. Worried sick, Remus hesitantly picked up his reddish wand from the desk and began to fiddle with it uncomfortably.

"Um, d-do you m-m-mind if I-I go f-first, seeing as y-y-you have a-already?" he stammered, refusing to look the other boy in the eye. It suddenly struck him that this was the longest sentence he had uttered to Black, and he fully lowered his gaze to the floor. Oh, how he wished to prove to this boy that he was worthy of friendship! Alas, he wondered if this was a moot point.

-----

Sirius fought the urge to shrug, and awarded the boy with an expressionless nod, and a monotonous "Do your worst, Lupin."

_Well, at least he had the guts to ask..._

He stood still, wand at his side, his eyes blank and without even the slightest trace of fear.

-----

Suddenly faced with a fearless Black, something inside Remus snapped. Forget proving worthiness for _friendship_, this boy obviously did not even consider him a worthy enough attacker to hold his wand properly. Irrational anger (mainly incited by the wolf) struck, and he nigh-on snarled at Black before shouting "_Expelliarmus_!" almost at the top of his lungs.

Thankfully, the meeker side of Remus thought, his spell actually worked, and Black's wand went whirling off across the room. Remus almost dropped his own wand in shock, but he could not help the small half-smile that spread across his face.

_He could do magic._

-----

Sirius didn't even flinch as Lupin yelled the Disarming charm. There was something determined, almost desperate in Lupin's stance, in the narrowing of his eyes, of the whiteness of his knuckles clenched around his wand... Sirius found himself almost willing the other boy to cast the charm correctly, and when the magic hit him, he didn't resist.

He watched impassively as his wand spun across the room, his hand still hanging limply by his side. He shot a glare at a small ginger boy, who quickly scurried off and fetched his wand for him. Sirius glanced from his own wand to Remus and back again. _I could curse him across the room and back if I wanted... I could... God, from the look on his face, that was probably the first charm he's ever cast..._

Sirius blinked, remembering his first moment of accidental magic, and the wonderful rush of pride.

Eventually he just nodded again, and in the same, monotonous voice, said, "Good work, Lupin."

_Well done._

-----

Remus could not help the surge of pride that overtook him as Black's wand finally clattered to a halt against the wall. He watched a ginger Slytherin obediently fetch the fallen wand, and as Black seemed to examine him the anger returned. It faded, however, when Black complimented him (albeit in an emotionless tone of voice)

"Th-thank you," he said quietly. "T-to tell you the t-t-truth, that w-was unexpected." He began to worry his wand between his hands, looking again to the floor. He did not want to create eye contact with the boy, in fear that he would suddenly wish to attack him like he did Potter.

-----

Sirius tilted his head slightly to one side and crinkled his nose. He had been right, then. _Mudblood. Or Muggle born. Or blood traitor. Can't be a pureblood though. Every true pureblood child knows at least SOME magic before they come here..._

He sighed, and bowed his head. What to do, what to do... His parents had firmly impressed upon him the importance of mixing with only the proper kind of witches and wizards. And even though he was in Gryffindor, maybe it would soften the blow if he just accepted their teachings once and for all.

What to do, what to do...

He shivered, his heart feeling strangely cold. His vision was slightly... Not blurred, just dark, and he felt numb - emotionless.

Consequently, he felt no guilt, and no shame as he turned away from Lupin, and returned to his desk. After all, he had completed the assignment, so there really was no need to keep associating with Lupin's kind.

-----

Remus looked up to see what appeared to be a dilemma flit across Black's face before he turned - silently, the wolf noticed with glee - and walked away. The boy seemed to wilt even more, wondering what exactly he had done wrong, before he, too, sat down at his desk. He had cast the spell, had he not? He had even been _congratulated_ by the boy before he deserted him.

More anger overtook him as he suddenly grasped what his mistake had been; mentioning his surprise at casting magic. Obviously, the stuck-up pure-blooded git considered himself above those who had never cast a spell before, most likely assuming them to be Muggleborns or something equally as stereotypically pureblood. Just because he was a half-blood, he was not good enough to be associated with? The wolf - despite being pleased that the boy had not made a friend - growled, merely fuelling Remus' heightening anger.

Unless the strange-smelling Professor moved on quickly, he was afraid that he would do something over-dramatic.

-----

Sirius watched through dim and distant eyes as Highgate moved slowly through the classroom, correcting wand-movements, and Ennervating unconscious students before sending them off to the Hospital Wing.

After what felt to Sirius like about half an hour of watching this debacle, he gave up, silently picked up his bag and left, slipping quietly out of the door.

-----

Remus sat at his desk, forcing the wolf back and trying to calm himself down for the rest of the lesson. Professor Highgate, if he noticed, said nothing. But as Remus finally left the classroom after nearly two hours of nothing, he could have sworn he saw the teacher grinning almost maliciously and showing suspiciously sharp teeth. He promised himself that he would do some research into the man later.

Herbology had passed in more uneventful silence. Remus had hoped that the traditionally-friendly Hufflepuffs would at least try to strike up a conversation with him, but it appeared that their friendships had already been made. He was left at a pot on his own, but at least he was one of the few who managed to complete the task set.

Lunch had involved the consumption of some more meat, though in a sandwich this time. If he remembered correctly from his accidental eavesdropping, it was chicken. He would have to learn to tell the difference between them all, or else he was likely to suffer even more loneliness because he did not know the names of different foods. He had left the Great Hall early at the sight of Potter returning from the Hospital Wing and making a beeline for Black. He had decided he just could not cope with them any more. How was he ever going to last seven years with them? He could not stand being anywhere near them after a single day.

This was the comprehensive reason as to why he was standing alone in the dungeon corridor, outside the empty Potions room and fifteen minutes early to his lesson. His day could not _possibly_ get any worse.

-----

Potter was following him. Sirius could tell, from the way he was just THERE, every time Sirius turned a corner, every time he went into a room. It was like having a very annoying, very desperate puppy yapping at your heels. Sirius, however, was too tired to be annoyed. He'd long since given up on the idea of privacy, and by the time they were heading towards Potions, silence seemed like a long distant dream.

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it of the sleep that seemed to be slowly freezing his thought processes, Sirius trudged slowly towards the Dungeons.

_Potions with the Slytherins. This should be... Interesting..._

-----

Remus heard him before he saw them. Potter's non-stop, always-cheerful tones were instantly recognisable, and he could not help but put his face in his hand. A few deep breaths to calm the wolf and he felt himself able to unfailingly ignore them. Running his hand down his cheek before letting it fall, he quickly got his D.A.D.A. textbook from his satchel and opened it at a random page. He had read most of the book already, so he ended up rereading the section about Dark Creatures.

The irony? The pages had opened onto the sub-chapter entitled _Werewolves_. He barely withheld an angry sigh.

-----

A quick glance around the corridor revealed only Lupin, waiting patiently with his nose in a book. If Sirius had looked closer, he would have realised that James' overenthusiastic approach to life was driving Lupin insane too. As it was, he has far too tired, far too distant to even really make a note of the other boys existence. He leant back heavily against the stone wall, his head tipped back, running a slightly shaking hand over his pale face.

_What's the matter with me today? Christ, I feel... I feel like... God, it's so goddamn cold down here..._

James' voice was soon washing over him, unnoticed, like the ever-present crash of waves beating down on the seashore, and Sirius eyes drifted closed.

-----

Remus' golden eyes were skimming quickly over the words on the pages, only taking in perhaps forty percent of whatever he read. Despite insisting that he would ignore the so-called Dynamic Duo, he was finding it increasingly difficult. Potter just did _not_ shut up. Ever. God only knew what he was rambling on about, he hardly even seemed to draw breath, but he got the impression that he was not the only one being driving half-crazy.

Black was stood with his head against the wall, looking even paler than usual. (Of course he could not compare to the sun-deprived skin of Remus, but it was certainly noticeable.) He was still surrounded by the scent of Dark Magic, and the unmistakable smell of illness was following him around like moths following violet lights. Perhaps he should say something?

On second thought, perhaps not. Black had already established that he saw Remus as inferior, so he mused about whether he should really give a damn about him at all.

-----

Sirius was worried.

Well, if he was lucid enough to be worried, he would have been. As it was, he could barely think straight, and was fighting the urge to faint. His breathing was shallow and rapid, and he felt like his heart was slowing down. He was trying to keep count, and each heartbeat seemed to take longer than the last - making Sirius wonder, sometimes, if it had just stopped completely.

_Something... Something is really... Really wrong..._ He took another laboured breath, and tried to force his eyes open.

The moment the dim Dungeon lights met his eyes, he let out a slight noise, barely audible - and totally unheard by the still-talking James, and he slid slowly to the floor, sitting cross legged, his head bowed. The light had felt like a sword being shoved cruelly into his brain, and he shoved his shaking hands deep into his hair, gritting his teeth against the repercussions of pain still lancing through his head.

_Calm down, you've got to calm down... What the fuck is happening to me?! Am I dying?! Is this it? I... Calm DOWN, Sirius! I don__'t want to die! Ohmygod, ohmygod. Just... Breathe. Breathe..._

_-----_

Remus could hardly believe that he heard Black over Potter's constant voice, but he did. Somehow. He had begun to wonder if his lycanthropic hearing was failing him. Apparently, it wasn't. Temptation caused him to reluctantly look up, and he saw Black slowly sinking to the floor as though he was about to faint. Although he had promised himself not to get involved, he broke it. He was not going to leave a classmate (even a hated classmate) almost lying on the floor in the dungeons.

"P-Potter," he stuttered quietly, but the boy did not seem to hear him. He inched closer, finally deciding to bend down next to Black. "B-Black, I th-th-think you n-need to go to the H-Hospital W-W-Wing," he said, almost anxiously. "Y-you d-d-don't look w-well."

-----

Sirius couldn't help the pained whimper that tore itself from his throat as Lupin's voice seemed to shatter his skull. He clamped his hands over his ears, his breathing harsh and ragged. His whole body felt cold, far too cold, like his blood was made of ice.

_I... Help me. Help me, for gods sake, HELP ME! Christ... Don't leave me here, don't, don't leave me here to die!_ None of Sirius' desperate thoughts made it past his tortured throat, and he could do nothing but take deep, gasping, ragged breaths, and focus on staying alive.

James crouched down next to Lupin and peered at Sirius worriedly. "Oh... Oh my god... There's something wrong with him! Sirius? Sirius?! Can you hear me?! Sirius!?"

Sirius didn't answer, just took a breath. And another, and another, and focused on the slow, irregular beat of his slowly fading heart.

-----

At Black's whimper of pain, the seriousness of the situation struck Remus like a cannonball to the stomach. This time, Potter noticed and joined him on the floor, speaking in a panicked tone. Remus - feeling more worried than he had ever felt for another person before - turned to Potter. "H-he n-n-needs to g-get to the H-H-Hospital W-Wing," he said urgently. "C-can you p-p-pick h-him up on y-your own?" Looking at Potter's thin, bony body, he did not expect an affirmative answer. He doubted, however, that either of the duo would appreciate his help.

-----

James shook his head helplessly. "I... I dunno, but I don't think so, I'm a right weed! I... Can you?!" The Lupin boy was tall, but skinny, and James frowned, worry and doubt showing on his expressive face.

Sirius was in hell.

It had to be hell, really. He felt like he was being frozen in ice and burnt alive over and over and over again. He was shaking quite violently by now, his body cold as a corpse to the touch. His eyes had fallen open, where he didn't have the energy to hold his eyelids closed, and his grey eyes had rolled back into his head, leaving the sockets white and staring. His mouth was slightly open, his lips pale and bloodless.

Internally, Sirius was a mess. But just before he slipped into unconsciousness, his mind allowed him one cruel moment of lucidity.

_Ohgod ohgodohgodohgod... _

_Something is bleeding me dry... I can feel it, eating my life, my magic, my will to live... What is this cu__rsed poison?! Poison._

_Ohgod._

_Ohmygod._

_Poison._

_I... I'__ve been... Poisoned?!_

_They..._

_They've killed me__!_

_MyGOD they've actually killed me!_

His eyes rolling wildly, and his focus slowly draining, Sirius reached out blindly, grasping onto what he presumed to be the front of Lupin's robe. He had to tell him, had to make the other boy understand. Sirius wasn't strong enough to stop the spread of the poison now, but surely... Surely they could feel it?! The strong, Black magic, spreading like a disease, poisoning the blood in his veins, and the breath in his lungs. Surely they could taste it, bitter and vile, surely they could smell the stench of the Blackness - the terrible, hateful smell of insanity and power.

Breathing hard, Sirius found the energy for one last word.

"Blacks."

It came out as a croaked whisper, probably too quiet for a human to have heard. But really, Sirius decided, it had to be enough. Because, his heart was suddenly beating overtime, desperately, desperately-

And then it wasn't beating at all, and Sirius lay still.

-----

Remus was about to give Potter his hesitant reply when he felt weak hands grasp the front of his robes in desperation. He looked down instantly, meeting Black's blind-white eyes as he lay there, shaking and panting with effort. His white lips hardly moved at he whispered something, something so quietly that it was unlikely anyone would hear him.

This was one of those rare occasions where it was lucky to run across a werewolf.

Remus' highly sensitive hearing barely picked up the single, murmured word, so quiet was the boy: "Blacks." And then his hands went limp and he slipped into unconsciousness, not even breathing. Remus suddenly panicked at the sight of Black's stilled chest, and he hurriedly placed two fingers on the pulse point at his cold, cold neck. His heart appeared to have stopped.

His mind in the middle of a breakdown, Remus picked up Black with no further hesitation. A voice in the depths of his mind told him to act human, and he grimaced in mock-effort. "T-tell the p-p-professor w-what happened," he ordered Potter without a second thought, before turning and hurrying up the corridor with as much human-ness as he could.


	6. Black Magic

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

'**Black' Magic**

Remus burst into the Hospital Wing with Sirius Black in his arms, the former with his golden eyes wide and the latter completely unconscious. "H-help!" he called out loudly, stumbling further into the room. "S-s-somebody, qu-quick!"

A young woman bustled out from a side office, halting for a brief moment in surprise at the sight before her. "Oh my goodness!" she cried out, hurrying to the pair without further ado. "Quickly, quickly, put him on the bed." Remus did not hesitate to obey, and the woman placed her own fingers at Black's pulse point. There was the tiniest of movements, a struggling vibration that came about at irregular intervals after indeterminate periods of time. "What happened?" she asked authoritatively, looking up at Remus worriedly.

"I-I-I d-don't know, b-but I th-th-think it's D-Dark Magic," he stuttered in a rush. "H-he received a l-l-letter th-this morning, on b-black parchment, I th-think it w-w-was from his f-f-family, I d-don't kn-kn-know, b-but he-s b-b-been g-getting w-w-worse all d-day! He c-collapsed in the d-d-dungeons before P-P-Potions, J-James P-P-Potter was th-there, too."

The woman did not pause for a moment as she waved her wand with a silent incantation, opening a large wooden cabinet with uncountable numbers of vials and bottles filled with potions. Another flick of her wand and she Summoned two tiny, crystal bottles. Opening one with a purplish-coloured liquid in it, she carefully upended all of its contents into Black's half-open mouth. Almost immediately some colour rose in his cheeks, but still he stayed unconscious. The second bottle of rust-coloured liquid settled his heart into a regular rhythm, though the beats were a tad too slow in the Healer's opinion.

Black's eyes stayed closed and his body stayed limp, but he did not look so much like a corpse any more; perhaps like death warmed up, but not a cadaver. The Healer stood, her dark eyes worried, and turned to Remus. "Are you in Gryffindor, too?" she asked, indicating Black's still form as she did so. Remus nodded, and she continued, "Then go and find Professor McGonagall, as quickly as you can." She waved her wand and a piece of parchment appeared out of thin air. "Give this to her, and return here with her. I expect we'll need to hear exactly what happened." Remus nodded again, taking the parchment out of the air before dropping his bag on a chair and fleeing from the room in search of his Head of House.

-----

_Breathe. Two. Three. Four. Breathe. Two. Three. Four. Breathe..._

He could hear voices, dim and far away. The Black poison that had been crushing his heart was slightly less cold, but even as he lay there, wondering what the hell had happened, he could feel it seeping back.

_A Blood Magic curse then... But... How would... Of course... They cursed the letter! The goddamn letter!_

He tried lifting his hand, but it felt like it was made of lead, and flopped back uselessly to his side. He could hear the Healer-woman fussing, but kept his eyes closed. Where was Lupin? What had happened to James? And why, why oh why, was no one removing the letter?!

_Oh._

Oh fuck.

They can't! They... Black Blood Magic. I... I'm only still alive, dying agonisingly slowly, because I have some natural resilience! If a muggleborn or a half-blood touches it, they'll be dead before they've even realised! Holy SHIT they were serious about this! Christ. Maybe Lupin went to get Dumbledore.

Yeah.

Dumbledore'll know how to fix it...

I hope...

_-----_

Remus ran into the Hospital Wing in the wake of Professor McGonagall, her mouth set in a worried line and her forehead creased. She hurried to the Healer, almost seeming to ignore Remus. "Do you know what happened, Poppy?" she asked in a concerned but quiet tone, and Remus' mind suddenly flicked back through his memories to the letter he had received:

_'Our resident Healer, Poppy Pomfrey, has agreed to help you recover after your transformations...'_

So _this_ was Madam Pomfrey...

His mind wandered back to the immediate situation as Madam Pomfrey relayed his story to McGonagall, and if it were possible, the professor's visage grew more worried. "This is unfamiliar to me," she said quickly, glancing anxiously at the stricken body of Black. "I think this is a job for Albus." She flicked her wand at the door and a silver, almost vaporous object shot from the end of it and out of the door, streaking past Remus - who could have _sworn_ that it was shaped like a cat.

Silence fell in the room for a few minutes, only broken by Black's irregular breathing. Just as Remus wondered what was going on, Professor Dumbledore strode in with his purple robes swishing. His normally-sparkling eyes were steely and cold, and he went straight to Black's side without a moment's pause.

"Any theories, Minerva?" he asked. Once again, Remus' story was recounted, and Dumbledore's eyes grew hard. "Blood magic," he said coldly. "An ancient and dark branch of magic, used only by pure-blooded wizards and witches. Whichever object is cursed, it will slowly - and painfully - kill the receiver unless it is removed. Unfortunately, should anyone but a pureblood try to do so, they will die instantly." Finally, he turned to Remus. "Remus, you said he received a letter this morning?"

Remus nodded. "Y-yes, professor. It st-st-stank of D-Dark Magic, I c-could smell it fr-fr-from where I w-was sitting. I th-th-think he's b-been carrying it all d-d-day, the sm-smell was a-always th-th-there."

"Then that is most likely the cursed object." His wand suddenly seemed to appear in his hand, but McGonagall interrupted any possible spellwork.

"Albus! If what you've said is true, you can't remove it," she warned.

"If what you've said is true, Mister Black is the only one who can remove it, and he's the one suffering from this curse," Madam Pomfrey said cautiously.

"Ah, but you forget who I am," Dumbledore said simply, waving his wand. The unopened black parchment suddenly appeared from Black's discarded bag, hovering in the air before Dumbledore. He looked over it in disgust before setting it alight with a non-verbal spell, watching the flames burn blood red and black as the parchment wilted and burned.

The stench of Dark Magic became so overpowering in the enclosed room that Remus began to gag, running to a nearby sink and vomiting violently into it. Madam Pomfrey - although trying to see if the destruction of the letter aided Black's recovery - hurried over to him and led him to another spare bed, letting him lie down while she Vanished the vomit. As he lay, trembling, on the bed, she returned to McGonagall.

"Is that...?" she began quietly.

"Yes," came McGonagall's terse reply, "and he'll be back here on Sunday."

Madam Pomfrey shot him a sympathetic look before returning to observing Black, and Remus soon drifted into a fume-induced sense of half-awareness.

-----

Sirius could breathe.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, the air taste sweet and clean in his mouth, and he gasped it in like a man just saved from drowning, savouring the sensation of just breathing normally again.

He could feel his heartbeat growing stronger, beating steadily, it's familiar rhythm sending blood coursing round his body and-

Sirius could feel his mouth quirk into a sort of smile as he felt that beloved rush of magic flowing trough his veins, through his body, it was back, his magic was back!

Sirius sat bolt upright in bed, his eyes focused and bright, though his face was still pale. He could see Dumbledore and McGonagall, and some Healer woman, and he smiled unsurely at them all.

As thankful as he was, before he could actually verbalize his thanks, a more urgent thought sprang to mind.

"Where's Lupin?!"

_I... They look so... Sombre. Worried._

What... Did he...? What if he tried to take the letter?! He would've been killed?! Ohmygod. Ohmygod.

What if he's dead?!

_-----_

"Where's Lupin?"

Black's almost-urgent voice drifted into Remus' mind, breaking the sombre silence. Was he angry with him? Did he actually _want_ the letter? Was it all a trick? He could not tell, but he turned over onto his side, ready to sit up and show himself. Luckily for his magic-weary body, Dumbledore stepped in first.

"Mister Lupin did not remove the letter, if that's what you're worried about," he explained calmly. "He's just recovering from running up four floor's worth of stairs while carrying you, your bag and his own. Quite an impressive feat - how adrenaline does wonders for the undeveloped!" Remus could picture him smiling, pleased with his perfectly-shrouded explanation. It was a good thing that Black _had _been unconscious, for even adrenaline-induced running caused some physical reaction - like excessive sweating and heavy breathing - that Remus did not suffer from.

"You gave us all quite a scare," came Madam Pomfrey's voice, and Remus pictured her reaching to Black's forehead to take his temperature. "Hmm, slightly too cold. Here, have another blanket." He expected that the Healer conjured one up for Black, and he could imagine him taking it rather reluctantly.

Dumbledore gave a sort of sigh. "Now, Mister Black, I'm afraid it's now onto the serious business. I understand that it might be difficult to 'turn in' someone you know, but Blood Magic is a serious matter and must be dealt with accordingly. I would like to hear _your_ version of events, beginning with the arrival of your letter this morning."

-----

Sirius snorted, somewhat rudely. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Headmaster."

Dumbledore opened his mouth to say something, blue eyes twinkling almost _sadly_, or so Sirius thought, but he continued regardless.

"And I won't ever have an idea of what you're talking about." Dumbledore frowned, and Madam Pomfrey tutted loudly. Sirius thought about explaining. Thought about telling Dumbledore that family loyalty was _everything_, that his family was all he had, that he wouldn't dare to risk losing them...

Instead, he just stared at the bedspread. Even after Dumbledore had disappeared in a swirl of purple velvet, the tension in his shoulders remained, and he didn't dare look up.

-----

Remus could not believe what he had just heard. Black had just _lied_ to Professor Dumbledore, and laughed _derisively_ at him. How dare he? How _dare_ he? OK, so Remus might respect Dumbledore a _tad_ more than most students - he did, after all, let him attend Hogwarts - but a student _outright lying_ to him was almost unthinkable. He felt the wolf stir in his mind and anger begin to bubble in the pit of his stomach, and for once he did not want to hold it back. Finally he sat up and opened his eyes, just in time to see Dumbledore leaving the room and Black return his gaze to his bed.

_Something_ was happening here, and he was determined to find out what.

-----

Eventually, when the dull cream bedspread seemed to swim before his eyes, Sirius shook his head slightly, and looked up. He'd have missed Potions by now probably, and he doubted he'd make it to dinner. The thought of dinner made Sirius' stomach churn, and he stood up hurriedly, almost falling over as he tried to extract himself from his sheets - which seemed bizarrely reluctant to let him go. Eventually, he managed to stagger across the room and into the small bathroom opposite his bed. _Just in time..._ He threw up violently, retching until there was nothing left but bile. Shaking, Sirius wiped his mouth and straightened up. Strangely enough, he felt a bit better - as though he were finally purged of the Blackness that had been poisoning him. He let out a slow breath, and wandered out of the room, heading slowly towards his bed.

-----

Remus watched coldly as Black stood up and staggered to the bathroom, most likely to throw up. He looked rather green, and Remus found he could not care less. Madam Pomfrey bustled away back into her office, and Professor McGonagall gave a heavy sigh before leaving the room too. He could not decide if this was a good thing or not, because the sudden absence of teachers made the wolf more... well, _arrogant_, for the lack of a better word.

So, when Black eventually reappeared, it was really the lack of adults who governed what Remus did next.

Suddenly overcome with unrestrainable fury, Remus practically flew from his bed to grab Black by the neck of his robes, pulling him almost off the floor with his lycanthropic strength. Furious amber eyes glared almost directly into stormy grey ones, and Remus wasted no time in speaking.

"Listen, you pureblood _bastard_!" he spat through gritted teeth. "I don't know _what_ you're planning, but I _know_ you received some kind of Dark Magic in the post this morning. I'm not blind and my sense of smell works, so although Professor Dumbledore might have accepted your _pathetic_ excuse, _I_ don't! I don't know what you're doing, and I won't regret _saving your life,_ but if you're planning to take down the school or - dare I say it - _Professor Dumbledore,_ then you have me to face! You may not consider my blood 'pure' enough for association, but I know things about the _wrong_ side of Dark Magic that would make even _your_ hair curl!" He finally released Black's robes and shoved the boy away slightly harder than he meant to. "Just remember, _Black_, that I saved your life. I wash my hands of this affair for now, but until you prove to me that you can be trusted, consider me your enemy." He stepped back, eyes blazing, and stalked away in seething anger.

-----

Sirius couldn't remember ever feeling more angry in his entire life. He snarled and leapt forwards, yanking Lupin round by the back of his robes, and punched the other boy hard across the face. He could feel bones crunch under his fist, and the sight of red blood just fuelled his anger. He let go of Lupin, and spat at the other boys feet, and let his anger take over.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY, MUDBLOOD!" He was shouting, his voice raw and harsh. "HOW DARE YOU PRESUME TO KNOW ANYTHING, _ANYTHING_ ABOUT ME, OR MY LIFE, OR WHAT I STAND FOR!??! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO SAY THOSE THINGS TO ME?! YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN ME, YOU IGNORANT, PATHETIC, USELESS GRYFFINDOR! YOU CAN'T EVEN HOLD A WAND RIGHT, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WIZARDS, OR WIZARDING KIND, AND YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SPEAK TO_ME_ LIKE IM SOME KIND OF CRIMINAL?! YOU'D BETTER STAY THE FUCK AWAY FORM ME, LUPIN! JUST STAY THE FUCK AWAY, OR I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS!"

Sirius fell silent, and breathing hard, stormed out of the Hospital Wing, leaving his wrathful voice echoing behind him.

-----

Remus watched Black storm out angrily, and he spat blood from his mouth. Madam Pomfrey suddenly hurried back into the room, having heard Black's outburst, and saw Remus standing - tense and animalistic - in the middle of the room with blood streaming down his nose. "What in Merlin's name happened here?!" she cried out, waving her wand and fixing his shattered nose.

Remus suddenly kicked back in as the wolf finally settled down, and his form visibly sagged. "N-nothing, Madam P-P-Pomfrey," he mumbled almost inaudibly, before turning to pick up his bag and running from the room.

**Authors' Note:**

This story has been co-written by IdiosyncraticSilence (who writes from Remus' point of view;) and Avada-In-The-Skies (who writes as Sirius).


	7. Feud

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

**Feud.**

Sirius was bored out of his mind. It was lesson three on a Tuesday, and he was staring aimlessly out of the Defence classroom window, letting the sound of Highgate waffle on about nothing anyone cared about wash over him. He watched disinterestedly as a Thestral wheeled about high above the Forbidden Forest, and turned suddenly to face James, who he just _knew_ would've had the same fantastic idea as him - wouldn't it be brilliant to explore the Forest?! The Castle was getting old - they'd already found innumerable secret passages and classrooms, so a new adventure would be just what they needed.

But James wasn't there.

Sirius sighed and toyed miserably with his Eagle-feather quill as he remembered that James had gone staggering off to the Hospital Wing after being bitten by the Venemous Tentacula.

Again.

He let his gaze drift over the classroom, catching the eye of several of his Gryffindor housemates, who smiled at him. _It seems,_ Sirius thought wryly,_ that being cursed with Dark Magic is the perfect way to get allies in Gryffindor House... Seems like Father did me a favour. They're so trusting - the second you get cursed, it automatically makes you Light. And when you live to tell the tale - whilst standing on the Common Room table, no less - you're immediately promoted to exceptionally-brave-hero-status. Well. In the eyes of everyone but Lupin, anyway..._

Sirius glanced around for a peek at his arch-nemesis, and was surprised to find the other boy nowhere in sight. He shrugged imperceptibly and turned back to his page of notes, doodling slowly in the margin, and thinking up new, even evil-er pranks to play on Lupin.

-----

Remus felt like going home.

It was a rather strange feeling, but he considered it justified. After all, who would rather live in a secret cellar and rarely be allowed outside than live in utter freedom at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry? Unfortunately, school was not really working out for him.

After his explosive argument with a certain Sirius Black on the first day of term, his life had been hell. It seemed as though the whole of Gryffindor house had turned against him (none of the Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs spoke to him, either - it seemed as though Black had managed to convince them of his utter evilness, too) and despite the fact that he was heralded as the Devil's Spawn and other such unsavoury 'nicknames', even the Slytherin's seemed to be taking it out on him. He did not think a single student in the entire school liked him, and _that_ was why he wanted to leave.

He could hardly get from one lesson to another without some sort of prank being played on him by the Dynamic Duo (and their blonde friend, Pettigrew). They had started relatively harmless, little things that made people laugh at him, but they gradually became worse and worse. A few days ago he had been tripped whilst walking down a flight of stairs, and he had almost broken his neck as he landed at the foot of them. He did not need to look up to discover the culprits. The pranks were getting more and more dangerous and (dare he say it) _life-threatening_, and they seemed to be _everywhere_. Even if he left a classroom the very second the class ended and ran non-stop to the next one, they were always there before him, laughing and ready to needlessly torment him. They were smart enough to place a lookout (usually Pettigrew) who warned them when a teacher was coming, so none of the staff ever caught them at their bullying and Remus was too terrified of Black's reaction that he dared not tell one of them.

OK, so _most_ of the teachers were kind to him in general. After his first transformation, Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore (and Madam Pomfrey, of course) arrived first thing in the morning to help him make his painful way back to the school from the wolf's prison. All of the teachers were sympathetic towards him, knowing better than to ask what had happened when he spent most of the next week covered in scratches that none of Madam Pomfrey's potions could heal. There was just _one_ teacher who seemed set to make his life even more hellish than it was already.

Professor Highgate, the man who taught Defence Against the Dark Arts, _hated_ him almost as much as Black and his allies did. And, unfortunately for young Remus, it was his lesson that he would be interrupting.

The night before had been his second full moon at Hogwarts, and he was always given permission to miss the first two lessons and arrive late to the third. He did not think that Highgate would care less about what Professor Dumbledore had allowed, however; it just gave him more reason to pick on him. So, he was stood outside the classroom - his left arm in a sling, his face covered in scratches, and a bandage bound tightly around his right leg - delaying his entrance for as long as he could. He took a few deep breaths, calming himself down, before he knocked three times on the door.

"Come in!" snapped Highgate, and Remus cautiously opened the door. "Lupin! Why are you so late?"

"I-I-I'm s-sorry, s-sir," he stuttered, his eyes to the floor. "I-I-I w-was i-in th-th-the H-Hospital W-W-Wing."

"Hmm," Highgate said, arms crossed and a cruel smile on his face. "Well. Seeing as you're twenty minutes late to my lesson, I think it only fair that you answer a question on our current topic. Should you be in a duel and your opponent casts a spell at you, which would be the best way to protect yourself?"

Remus quickly flicked through his mental library - being ostracised by the school, it gave him time to read every single one of his textbooks from cover to cover a number of times each, and he had remembered each and every page. "Pr-Protego," he stammered, "th-th-the b-blocking sp-spell."

"Correct," Highgate admitted, disappointed that he had not failed. "Well, sit down. I don't wish for you to disrupt my lesson any more than you already have." Remus glanced up, scanning the room for an empty seat. It was just his luck that his usual seat had been taken by a greasy-haired Slytherin.

The only seat left was next to Black.

With an inaudible sigh, he limped over to the empty desk and sat down, quickly removing his essential items from his bag and keeping his eyes down.

-----

Sirius glanced up as the door to the dungeons opened, and Remus Lupin walked in.

He looked absolutely _terrible_ - all covered in scratches. Sirius crinkled his nose, and watched as Highgate interrogated Lupin - who had quite obviously just come from the Hospital Wing judging by his bandages. _Idiot._ Thought Sirius irritably. _You can see Lupin looks rough, just let him sit down!_

Eventually, Highgate did just that, and Sirius frowned as Lupin sat down next to him. He was about to make a fuss, when he noticed that Lupin had dark circles under his eyes, and he was ridiculously pale. _What the hell? What's happened to him?!_ Sirius tapped his quill against the desk, biting his lip guiltily.

_What if... What if he's... What if its all the pranks?! No... That... It couldn't be making him ill, could it?!_ Sirius shook him head, trying to convince himself that really, it didn't matter, and he didn't care anyway. _He deserves everything he gets! He shouldn't have just assumed... It wasn't fair! He was being prejudiced, stereotypical. Calling me a Dark Wizard. He's no better than me, stupid... Eurgh. _Sirius grimaced as his recently developed conscience reminded him that even if Lupin had been accusing, and generally nasty, it was Sirius who punched him, and maybe...

Maybe he had been taking things a little too far...

He sighed, and ran his fingers through his perfect hair. _Why... Why did I have to get all conscience-y __**now**__?!_ He reached for a fresh piece of parchment, and hastily wrote Lupin a note, his neat copperplate handwriting glistening in black ink.

_Lupin - You look like shit. The pranks are just payback for you being a stereotyping bastard. If it's getting to you, if it's making you sick, then just say so, and I'll stop._

Then, as an afterthought,

_P.S. Get well soon._

_-----_

Remus glanced up as a piece of parchment arrived on his desk. Black had pushed a note to him, and he slowly moved it so that he could read it. The words hardly permeated his exhausted mind, and he had to re-read it a few times before he understood what it was about. He was ready and willing to tell Black that his injuries weren't his fault, but the wolf - close to the surface as it was - convinced his tired mind otherwise. He reloaded his quill with ink and began to write a reply.

_Black,_

_I can't think of any other reason why I'd be in the Hospital Wing if not for your dangerous pranks. I would_ love _for you to stop attacking me needlessly, but I wonder if you would bother to listen to me. You don't usually. If you are planning to make a change, then I would dearly love a reprieve from this hell, but having NONE of the student body on my side may not indicate much of a change. Still, a lack of attacks might make this place more bearable than it is currently._

_R.L._

He quickly reread Black's note and - another surge of anger striking him - he scribbled down another paragraph.

_And who are_ you _calling a stereotyping bastard? If I remember correctly,_ you _were the one who called me an ignorant Muggleborn just because I was new to magic. Now forgive me if I'm wrong, but_ surely _that's stereotyping?_

Thankfully, however, the meek human overthrew the wolf's decision and he crossed a line through it, fearing that antagonising Black even more would make him renounce his offer to stop the pranks.

Remus grimaced at the sight of his appallingly messy handwriting, but he was not in the least bit ambidextrous and - seeing as his left arm was out of action - his right hand was quite useless. Still, he slid the note back to Black and hoped to... well, he could not hope to _God_, he did not believe in such a thing who would let such a young boy be tortured with lycanthropy, but he hoped to _something_ that Black was really being synonymous with his name and that this was not just another prank.

-----

Sirius read the note and frowned. _The whole student body? Surely it hadn't got that far?!_ He was just on the verge of feeling guilty enough to ask for Lupin's forgiveness when a scribbled out paragraph caught his eye, and the anger flared up again. He seized his quill, and scribbled back:

_Lupin  
Actually, if you remember rightly, you accused me of being a Dark Wizard first. Just because my family are Dark does that make me evil too? Really? Think about it, Lupin.  
Secondly, the whole student body? I... I didn't realise. It wasn't intentional. I just don't like it when people assume that I'm Black by nature as well as by name._

_-----_

Remus looked up again as a second note from Black appeared on his desk. Slightly more awake now than he had been, he only had to read the note twice to understand it this time. A tiny spark of anger flickered like an ember inside him, but he was just too tired to pay it any attention.

_Black,_

_I don't mean everything I say when I'm angry. I was just... well, very riled up. I still insist that you lied to Professor Dumbledore, and I owe him enough that I don't think people should lie to him. I hated that you laughed at him, and_ then _spouted a lie about the obvious Dark Magic you had received. What else was my angry self meant to believe? You had just nearly died because of some spell or other, and then you pretend nothing happened? You were keeping something from him, something Dark, and I lost it. I admit I should have thought more before I got at you, but I'm sure you know how anger clouds the mind._

__

And I'm sure you didn't realise the extent your ostracising me had spread. You were too busy picking on me to pay attention to anyone else.

_R.L._

_-----_

_Lupin  
Re-read what you just wrote, and you'll see how foolish that sounds. I had just nearly died because of some Dark spell. And you thought it was somehow my own fault - my big evil plot to destroy the school gone wrong somehow? Did you not consider that it was in fact a plot against ME?  
If you want the truth, Lupin, then here it is. My parents wrote me a cursed letter. They hated the fact that I was sorted into Gryffindor, and they tried to kill me as a result of that.  
Happy now?_

_-----_

_Black_

_I wondered how a supposedly Slytherin family would take to a Gryffindor, and I guessed they wouldn't like it, but_ WHY _didn't you tell Professor Dumbledore? Attempting to murder the black sheep is a rather serious offence under Ministry law. Had you just told Professor Dumbledore, he would be able to stop a second attempt._

__

And yes, I suppose it does sound foolish, but I wondered if perhaps the spell was too strong for you to control or something like that. Dark Magic is rather powerful, and it did not seem unreasonable to assume a First Year couldn't handle it.

_R.L._

_-----_

_Lupin_

__

Are you mad?! Dumbledore couldn't stop this! This is Black Magic. If I told Dumbledore... I would be stone-cold-dead by now. I... I guess you don't know about Blood Magic? It is quite rare, not even all purebloods know about it, and how it works. But basically, the head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black (my father,) can curse me by using the connection we have in both blood and magic. If anyone else had received that curse, they would have died instantly. As it was me, a Black... I would have died slowly and painfully as he intended.  
I think you can understand my reluctance to be honest, now.

Too strong to control?! Lupin, I was raised on the stuff. If I'm truthful, I find it easier to handle than the Light stuff. I guess it's in my blood.

P.S. If this is a truce, then call me Sirius? It's only fair.  
P.P.S. Black sheep!? Ha. Ha. Funny.

_No really, that is actually quite funny... Congratulations!_

_-----_

_Sirius,_

_Yes, Professor Dumbledore figured that out. He was powerful enough to remove the letter and destroy it without killing himself, bringing you back from the dead. If he's powerful enough to do that, then surely he's powerful enough to send your parents to Azkaban or something like that? He's the most powerful wizard in existence, surely he can do _something_ about it?_

__

Well, I dare say I didn't know about the extent of the Darkness of the Blacks, if you used that more than Light magic. To be honest, I didn't know about your family at all until I overheard people talking at the Sorting feast. My family and I are quite cut off from the rest of the magical society, you see.

_Remus (I think it about time you actually_ knew _my first name, if this really is a truce)_

_P.S. Well, I tried. Is calling you 'serious' too much?_

_-----_

_To Mr. Remus Lupin_

__

Azkaban?! Are you joking? Black Blood Magic doesn't even require a wand. Azkaban couldn't stop him. And Dumbledore's not the kind of man to sacrifice a life for the sake of another. I know you mean well, but really, Lupin, I think his plan would be the same as mine. Just let it be, and see how events unfold, you know?

Sirius

P.S. Like I haven't heard that one before... I mean seriously, I get it all the time.

_(See what I did there?! Oh, this is going to be never ending. I can tell!)_

_-----_

_Sirius,_

__

If you're sure, then let events unfold. Should anything else happen, however, I suggest you go straight to Professor Dumbledore.

Well, I hope this truce will continue. Please notify Potter and Pettigrew of it, I don't wish to be hexed by them because you didn't let them know.

Remus

_P.S. Oh dear._

With that, Remus slid the note back to Black (no, _Sirius_!) and swept his things back into his bag, standing up as the end-of-lesson bell sounded. "S-s-see you in H-History of M-M-Magic, Bla-Sirius," he said cordially, before limping from the room towards his next lesson.

-----

Sirius sat silently for a moment, before leaping from his chair, and bolting towards the Hospital Wing. James he would find immediately - Peter was no problem, and could be left til last, he didn't do anything anyway, just followed them around...

As he ran, Sirius couldn't help the slight grin that graced his face, as he thought _I think... I really do think... that I've made a second friend!_

**Authors' Note:**

This story has been co-written by IdiosyncraticSilence (who writes from Remus' point of view;) and Avada-In-The-Skies (who writes as Sirius).


	8. Silence in the Library

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

**Silence in the Library**

Remus was sat at a table in the library, his Charms textbook wedged open and a foot of parchment laid out beside it. They had been set a 1500-word essay on the correct use and properties of the _Alohamora_ charm, but, Remus being Remus, he had already written over 3000 and had brought in some cross-references and comparisons that were not covered until sometime in Fifth Year... he hoped that Professor Flitwick would not mind, but he was one of the more sympathetic teachers towards him.

He had become to think of the library as his place of refuge. Despite Sirius's previous suggestion of a truce, few students still spoke to him. He and Sirius rarely talked and Potter still did not really trust him, so the only difference he had noticed so far was the welcome lack of dangerous pranks being pulled on him. He was glad that Sirius had passed on the news of the truce, for it had certainly made his life easier, but he still did not dare study in the Common room. The first time he had done that (though it was during the feudal era) he had ended up having to re-write a foot-and-a-half long essay for Defence because Potter had 'accidentally' spilled ink all over it. Since then, he had come to the quiet library daily, staying there late into the evening and only entering the Gryffindor tower just before curfew.

Still, he tried to ignore Sirius and his followers much of the time, and this was the best place to be. He could not recall ever seeing any of them in here before, so he adopted it as his sanctuary. Books were, after all, one of his loves, and even if he had no homework to do (which, let us be honest, was quite often - he finished homework exceedingly quickly, even when writing about twice as much as anyone else) he stayed in the library, picking up a book at random and studying it. It was thanks to this method that he was able to cross-reference his Charms essay, and it was due to his extensive reading that his magic was now massively advanced from what it had been. He was finally beginning to feel better in himself, knowing that he could cast spells which few First Years even knew about, let alone could cast.

Thankfully, it seemed, this knowledge could come in rather useful...

-----

"JAMES! JAMES WAIT UP! I THINK PETER'S DYING! SLOW DOWN!"

Sirius voice could be heard echoing through the library before he'd even set foot in the room. James Potter burst through the doors, laughing manically and diving behind a shelf of Divination texts. Sirius hurtled in seconds later, also laughing, and jumped over a table, knocking a stack of parchment flying. Peter staggered in last, practically purple in the face, and sweating horribly. Madam Pince, having heard the commotion swooped over, and dragged a protesting Peter out of the library by his ear.

Eventually, when they deemed it safe, James and Sirius strolled nonchalantly out from behind their respective bookcases, and hi-fived.

"Right then, Sirius, to work!" James voice was still loud, but Madam Pince was still ranting at Peter outside, and was therefore far too busy to worry about the remaining pranksters. Sirius nodded emphatically, and both boys headed for the shelves, selecting books at random, and stacking them up at an empty table in the corner.

Eventually, there was an actual mountain of books wobbling dangerously on the desk, and Sirius and James looked at each other sheepishly, before shrugging and getting to work.

"Well, we already know the levitation charm, and its pretty easy to bribe the house-elves - just need to promise to trash the Common Room for them, you know how they love cleaning-"

"Yeah, weird ones, house elves..."

"You never said a truer word, James, but right now we need to FOCUS! This prank isn't going to plan itself! We still need to figure out how to conjure up a couple of hundred extra pumpkins, and we need a substitution charm... I can manage the animation, because that's quite simple really... But the conjuring is really where this could all fall to pieces..."

They chatted on, checking textbook after textbook, James scribbling notes so quickly that his glasses were splatted with ink.

-----

At the sudden sound of Sirius's yelling, Remus immediately placed his head on the desk. He still had a few more cross-references to include, he had not talked about _Colloportus_ yet, but at the continued noise of Sirius and Potter chatting aimlessly he decided to just go to the (empty) dormitory and work there. As he packed up his things, he could not help but overhear Sirius's words.

Conjuring more pumpkins? That was a bit complex. He wondered what Sirius needed it for. A sense of foreboding overtook him, but deep down flashed a tiny feeling that helping them might make Potter more trusting towards him. It would certainly make his evenings in the dorm easier, not having to put up with Potter's stage whispers about his strange eyes or quick-growing hair (his fringe now covered his eyes, and he was planning on cutting it later that evening).

He stood up and prepared to leave, but ensured he made a detour over towards Sirius and Potter. "S-Sirius?" he asked. "I-I-I th-think I c-can h-h-help you."

-----

Sirius looked up, and smiled at Lupin. He opened his mouth to say hello, but James beat him to it. "No one asked for your help, _Remus_" Spat James, glaring at him. Sirius rolled his eyes, reached for the heaviest book he could see, and whacked James round the head with it. "James! Play nice! Hey Remus. You heard our dilemma then?"

-----

Remus flinched slightly at Potter's outburst and nearly turned away, but when Sirius spoke he felt a bit more confident. "Y-yes. Y-you're a b-b-bit loud." He tried to smile, but he was not sure if it worked. "The pr-problem is th-th-that you c-can't conjure f-f-food. I-inanimate objects are f-f-fine, b-but it's a d-d-difficult spell, F-Fourth Year st-st-stuff. Should y-you want p-p-pumpkins, you'd n-need f-f-fake ones. P-plastic, or s-s-similar. Should y-you want t-to _sm-sm-smash_ the p-pumpkins, you'll n-need r-real ones, which you c-c-can't conjure. You'd n-n-need to b-buy them, which g-g-gets expensive. D-depending on y-your in-in-intentions, it d-depends on the sp-sp-spell."

-----

Sirius frowned. "Oh bollocks. I knew that. Can't conjure up food. Damn." He sighed, and ran his hands through his hair. "Pull up a chair, Remus. We're back to square one, and it looks like we're going to need your help."

He had just finished speaking when James, still rubbing his head, protested. "Sirius! Are you mental?! You're letting him help after he called you Dark?! You can't be serious!"

Sirius sighed. "Actually James, I am. " A quick sideways glance at Remus. "In more ways than one." He grinned. "Look, Jim, it doesn't matter! He just... Jumped to conclusions. Lots of people do that. Its just... Something you've got to accept and deal with. I've forgiven him! So why can't you?"

James was silent.

-----

Remus could not help but smile at Sirius's joke, but he did not sit down. "I-I'm not s-s-sure if th-that's a good idea, S-S-Sirius," he stammered, glancing at James. "I-I can p-p-point you in the r-right d-d-direction, but I th-th-think it b-best I l-leave." He turned away and walked over to a bookshelf, scanning the titles for the one he was looking for. He eventually pulled out a large, leather-bound tome with golden script, which he placed in front of Sirius. "Ch-chapter F-f-fifteen might b-be useful."

-----

Sirius tried to smile, but ended up frowning instead. "Remus, just sit down. James will get over it in a minute, don't worry. He just takes things personally - though Merlin only knows why, seeing as the insult wasn't even aimed at him!" Here he stopped and glared at James, who glared right back.

After a couple of seconds, his frown dissolved into a reluctant smile. "Okay. Fine. I'm over it. So what's this hideously massive-looking book for then?"

-----

Remus stayed standing for a few moments more before he finally sat down next to Sirius, putting his bag on the floor. "W-well, it was wr-wr-written in 1893 b-by Thaniel St. Auburn, a Tr-Tr-Transfiguration master at B-Beauxbatons Academy for M-Magic. H-he invented a n-number of sp-sp-spells, one in p-particular which m-m-may be useful." He took the book from its place in front of Sirius and opened it, flicking rapidly through the pages before letting it come to rest on one. "Inanimatus Conjurus, _l'incantion employé pour créer un objet inanimé, peut être aisément appliqué dans des situations simples autour de la maison._" Remus took pride in the fact that he could speak French, and also in the fact that he did not stutter when doing so; it was too beautiful a language to ruin with such a speech impediment. He looked up, finally meeting Potter's gaze as well as Sirius's. "B-b-basic tr-translation, '_Inanimatus Conjurus_, the in-incantation used t-t-to conjure an in-inanimate object, c-c-can be r-readily applied in s-simple situations around th-th-the house.' If y-you want to c-c-conjure fake p-pumpkins, th-this is the sp-sp-spell to use. It d-describes wand movements l-later on, wh-which I'll tr-translate if you w-w-wish."

-----

There was a moment of silence, in which Sirius and James stared open mouthed at Remus. Eventually it was James who spoke.

"Bloody hell," he breathed. "You're a bit smart aren't you?"

Sirius snorted, and before they knew what happened, both boys were laughing almost hysterically.

"Just because you're a retard, James," spluttered Sirius, "doesn't mean everybody is equally ignorant!" James rolled his eyes, used to this kind of teasing.

"Prat." He muttered, still chuckling. They soon sobered up - after all, pranking was serious business.

"Right then," said Sirius. "Now what we need to decide is whether fake pumpkins will work." He turned to Remus, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Our plan was to... Um... Well okay, so we didn't have all the logistics yet, but we were thinking pumpkins - I mean, it is Halloween... And mess. Lots and lots of mess, mess and destruction and general chaos..."

He trailed off and looked at Remus hopefully.

-----

After the pause for the Dynamic Duo's laughter, Remus listened to Sirius's muddled explanation with a thoughtful expression. "W-well, I h-h-have an idea, b-b-but I d-don't want to g-g-get into trouble," he said quietly, shaking his hair from his eyes in his wolfish manner. He did not want to betray Professor Dumbledore's trust, after all, for it was he who allowed him to attend the prestigious school.

He tried implementing the excuse that he and Dumbledore had agreed upon to try and sidestep the issue, even though something deep inside him wished to carry out his plan. "I-I-I m-mean, I d-d-don't w-want to b-b-be ex-expelled or anything, I c-c-can't go h-home, my f-f-father's at the h-h-hospital with my m-mum, and I d-d-don't want to d-d-disrupt her h-healing process, so I d-d-don't have anywhere t-to go..." He looked away. "I-it's a g-g-good idea, b-but I-I-I don't w-want to risk ex-ex-expulsion." He looked up again, looking at Sirius for guidance.

"W-w-what should I d-do?"

-----

Sirius' incredulous expression had softened to one of sympathy as Remus explained about his parents, and when he spoke it was quiet. "What's wrong with your mother?"

-----

Remus panicked momentarily, but he cast his mind back to Professor Dumbledore's office on his first evening. "Sh-she has a k-k-kind of D-Dark Curse on her. Fr-from her p-p-parents you s-see. She w-was a p-p-pureblood, and my f-f-father's Muggle b-born, and they d-didn't want her t-to m-m-marry him. She d-did anyway, b-b-but when they d-died they m-m-made it so th-that she w-would be c-c-cursed, and all her ch-children. I was b-b-born _before_ they d-died, so I'm n-n-not affected, b-but I d-d-don't have any siblings b-because of it."

Though this story was a complete fabrication, thinking about his mother made him want to cry - he refused to do so, however. He did not want to look any weaker in front of his new acquaintances. "They d-d-don't know wh-what it is, b-b-but it's slowly k-k-killing her unless th-they f-f-find a cure. It c-c-creates t-tumours in her b-b-brain, she c-can't walk any m-more, so she c-c-can't live at h-home." His voice got quieter as he spoke, making his perfect lie all the more believable.

"I d-d-don't th-think they'll f-f-find one. I th-think she's g-going to d-d... I th-think she'll d-d-die."

-----

Sirius had no idea what to say. For some things, there just are no words. He reached over, and for some reason, grasped the other boys hand. "It's okay." He said quietly. "Professor Dumbledore would never expel you. And... If we get caught, then... It was all my idea, my fault. Okay?"

James nodded. "Yeah. We'll say it was all our fault, that you were nothing to do with it."

-----

Remus looked away, his amber eyes shining. He was thankful that they believed him, he would not know what to do if they had not, but he was grateful that he had not given himself away with the last sentence; that was not _exactly_ what he and Professor Dumbledore had agreed, but he had to say it.

It was what he believed would happen to him.

"A-a-are you s-sure?" he stammered, clutching Sirius's hand tightly as he could not help a single tear escape his eye - the one neither of the other boys could see, thankfully, but he hoped the other one would not betray him. "I-I d-d-don't want t-to get you into t-t-trouble, either."

-----

Sirius squeezed his hand back and shrugged carelessly. "Oh... We're not worried about that! We wont get caught... And what would life be like without a bit of danger?"

"Bloody boring," muttered James, and Sirius nodded decisively.

"Yeah. That. So!" He dropped Remus' hand, and clapped his own together. "It's decided then! Remus, you'll tell us your Grand Master Idea, and manage from behind the scenes. Then, me and James can be the um... Um... Instigators of this Wonder-Prank, and it shall be hilariously and fabulously amusing for all!" He finished this speech with a dramatic flourish of his hands, and James chuckled before reaching for a quill and ink to make notes on this 'Wonder-Plan' that Remus was expected to share.

-----

Remus actually smiled - a proper smile, not the half-grimace that he usually supplied instead - and wiped his cheek on the pretence of moving his hair from his eyes. "O-O-OK, th-then," he said, turning back to them. "Th-this is h-h-how it'll go..."

He outlined his plan to them, which involved a few goo-filled pumpkins, an _Engorgio_ charm, and a simple explosion spell to release the goo. And the best thing?

"Th-th goo can be Ch-Charmed to change the c-c-colour of people's h-hair when it touches it, s-so people will get p-pink and blue and g-g-green hair! It w-washes out quickly, th-though, so people w-w-won't be _too_ annoyed in the l-long term. It's all s-s-simple, but ef-effective. W-well, I _hope_ so, anyway, I-I-I don't r-really know about this s-s-sort of thing, but it s-sounds funny."

-----

Sirius and James were barely even listening by this point. James was bouncing up and down on his chair, and chanting a list of colours at the top of his lungs, and Sirius was reading the textbook, his wand waving around wildly in his hand as he tried to conjure an army of pumpkins.

By the time James had reached "TURQUOISE!", he had succeeded, and a pumpkin was sitting, leering on the table. James quietened down, and murmured, "Awesome..."

Sirius couldn't help but agree.

-----

Remus was positively beaming now, staring at the pumpkin that Sirius had conjured with a sense of wonder. "This c-c-could actually w-work!" he smiled, swiftly taking his wand from the inside pocket of his shabby robes and murmuring, "_Engorgio_!" The pumpkin began to swell, getting slowly but steadily larger. He eventually muttered the counter-jinx when the pumpkin was almost a metre high, it's leering grin big enough to fit his head in it. "Then j-just explode it, and b-b-boom! Everyone's c-covered in g-g-goo!"

-----

Sirius was almost howling with evil laughter by now. "C...Can you i...imagine their FACES?!" He managed to choke out. This just made James laugh even harder, until he was red in the face and falling off his chair.

Sirius grinned at Remus, and said "This is the best Prank Idea I've ever heard. Ever."

James would have agreed, but Madam Pince chose now to burst out from behind a bookcase, pointing her feather duster at them threateningly.

"SILENCE IN THE LIBRARY!!!!"

Her shrieking voice followed them all the way to Gryffindor Tower as they ran, still laughing, the pumpkin now left abandoned in pieces all over the library floor, goo dripping from the Herbology shelves.


	9. Early Risers

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

**Early Risers**

It was four o'clock in the morning of October 31st, and Remus was cautiously pushing the door of the Great Hall open. The ceiling was aglow with starlight, the candles were extinguished, and the four tables were completely bare, but Remus was not disappointed. This was, in fact, exactly what he wanted.

"The c-c-coast is c-clear," he whispered to the three shadowy silhouettes behind him, and they slipped silently into the room.

This Remus Lupin was almost unrecognisable as the thin, quiet outcast from two weeks ago. Since that fateful day in the library when he had dared to offer Sirius Black and James Potter his help, his miserable life at Hogwarts had been completely reformed. Sirius had ensured his seamless integration into his group of friends, and once they had relayed their ingenious Halloween prank to Peter he had treated Remus almost as though he was the smartest wizard in existence. The cruel pranks had disappeared, and suddenly all the students who had shunned him were treating him as a real human being. Lessons were suddenly hilarious, the Common Room was friendly, and bedtime was greeted with a groan from them all. His stomach had grown, so now he ate as much as any of the others (but not _nearly_ as much as Peter, he never seemed to stop eating) so his ribs had finally begun to disappear beneath a thin layer of fat. And best of all, as his confidence grew, he gradually began to loose his hunched figure and stand taller - he now had to look down to meet Sirius's eyes.

However, today was not to be a recollection of changes. Today, the four First Years were setting up their first prank upon the whole school. Remus had managed to teach the other students the spells required, and they were all eagerly anticipating the coming chaos.

-----

Sirius peered out from behind the doorway, his face solemn. He nodded to James, and they both dived for the nearest table, crawling along and singing some muggle spy song that James had heard on a trip to London once. Peter trotted along behind, giggling quietly.

Sirius eventually crawled out from under the table, and grinned up at Remus, his open, happy face a far cry from the shuttered, Black stare that used to grace his features. Staring up at Remus, Sirius realised two things. One, this was what he would count as a friendship - a true friendship. And two... This... friendship wasn't just good for him.

For a start, Remus actually smiled these days, and it pained Sirius to think of the hunched up, miserable child that he had so viciously hounded for so long. _At least now I can begin to pay him back... To atone for what I did... This will make everything right._

_In the end._

_-----_

Remus, exasperated as he was, could not help but smile back at Sirius, his once sworn enemy turned best friend. "St-stop messing about, g-g-guys!" he hissed, whipping his wand out from the inside pocket of his robes. "We c-c-can't stay t-too long." He turned around, ready to get on with everything, and nearly bumped into Peter. "Wh-what are you d-doing?" he asked. "You're m-m-meant to b-be the l-lookout!" Peter jumped to attention, muttering an apology, before returning to the doors.

Remus turned back to Sirius and James. "Alright, l-l-let's get g-going." He waved his wand and whispered a quick _"Inanimatus Conjurus," _allowing an incredibly lifelike plastic jack-o-lantern to appear on the table, leering at them all. Remus grinned back at it, immediately conjuring it a twin. Once they had enough pumpkins, the rest of the plan could be put into action...

-----

Sirius grinned, and was all set to conjure up the slimiest slime Hogwarts had ever seen - when he was interrupted by the sound of footsteps. He turned to Remus, face white, suddenly realising what could happen if they were caught.

_We're going to be expelled!_

__

I'll...

_I'll have to go... __**home.**_

_**-----**_

Remus froze the moment he heard the footsteps, turning to Sirius the moment the other boy turned to him. Identical shades of white on their faces, it seemed that Remus' fears had begun to take shape.

_'Nonononononono!'_ he screamed inwardly, panicking wildly. _'I can't be_ expelled!_ What will Dumbledore think?'_

Peter suddenly came running into the hall, his chubby face reddening from the minimal effort of running all of two hundred metres. "Someone's coming!" he warned, too loudly. "What'll we do?"

Remus was frozen in shock, still staring in utter terror at Sirius. "W-w-what do w-we d-d-do?" he stuttered, his golden eyes wide. "I c-c-can't b-be _expelled_!"

And then, as the doors opened once more, his animal instinct kicked in. Quick as lightning, he darted out of sight and under the nearest long table, his arms curled protectively over his head and his body already shaking in the fear of being discovered. Still, protecting himself brought upon guilt like he had never felt before.

Sirius, James and Peter would now take the blame from whoever had just walked in, and the guilt stabbed at his heart like a knife.

_'Please forgive me. Please,_ please _forgive me!'_

_-----_

Sirius was frozen to the spot, not even shaking in his sudden panic. James looked over, not noticing the way Sirius' hands were clenched into fists, or the way his grey eyes were just slightly too wide, and whispered, "Sirius, we could run for-"

The door opened.

It was a greasy-haired first year, wearing black pyjamas that were far too long, and puddled around his feet in pools of faded cotton. James blinked, and started to laugh. "Who the hell are you?!" he asked rudely, his wand held out threateningly in front of him.

-----

Remus was practically shivering, his fingers like claws that tore at the air by his face. He did not dare to look up, even at James's laughter, for all that he could think was that he was _certain_ to be sent home. His father's glare shone in his mind, his hands holding the silver shower cable to taunt him. He _knew_ that his father would find his expulsion hilarious, and would take great pleasure in torturing him with it for the rest of his life.

Why, oh _why_, had he let Sirius implement his _stupid_ plan? Remus was sure that his stupid idea had just cost him and his three friends their education.

-----

The greasy little first year took one look at James scowling face and brandished wand, and ran for it, stumbling over his too-big pyjamas, James laughter echoing behind him. The Gryffindor, still chuckling, turned to Sirius, still not noticing his friend's distress.

"Oi, did you see his face Sirius?! Poor lickle Slytherin almost **wet** himself!"

His words fell on deaf ears. Sirius was staring at the slowly closing door, his mouth still slightly open in horror. James placed a tentative hand on his shoulder, and Sirius' reaction was immediate. He stiffened, his face closing off into a mask of indifference, his eyes sharpening, focusing. He scowled at James, and moved out of his friends reach.

James blinked, and held up his hands peaceably. He lowered his voice, whispering quietly, so that only Sirius would hear. "It's okay, mate. Was just a Slytherin. You find Remus - I'll go and kick the stuffing out of Peter. Useless little..."

James wandered off, still muttering darkly to himself. Sirius felt a sudden surge of guilt. _Remus..._ The poor kid was probably terrified! He wasn't as brave or confident as James - or indeed as Sirius pretended to be. Sirius frowned, and glanced around the hall, plunging slightly shaking hands deep into his pockets.

_There._

A sudden glimpse of a telltale shock of sandy hair. Sirius half-smiled, and crawled slowly under the table, flopping onto his side, his head resting on Remus' knee, suddenly too heavy for his neck to hold upright.

_I... I'm sorry, Remus._

_-----_

Remus had been so closed off from the happenings outside of the table that he had no idea that James had frightened off the Slytherin, that Sirius had not said a word, that Peter had disappeared. So when he felt a sudden weight on his knee, he yelped like a startled animal and skittered away, his golden eyes opening wide and terrified. When he spotted that the weight was nothing other than Sirius, his rapidly-beating heart hardly calmed.

_'I just_ yelped!' he thought anxiously. _'Like an_ animal! _What if he... no, please! He can't guess. It's fine, we haven't been friends over a full moon yet, there's no way... perhaps he'll blame it as an idiosyncrasy...'_

And as he finally began to calm, his emotions hit him. It was as if someone had turned a tap on, for the tears suddenly fell thick and fast and uncontrollably. "I-I-I'm s-s-sorry, S-Sirius," he sobbed, placing his head in his hands. "I d-d-didn't m-mean to l-l-leave you, I-I-I just _c-couldn't_ get c-c-caught, and I-I _kn-kn-know_ you th-think b-b-badly of m-me but I-I-I just c-couldn't help it!"

-----

Sirius tried to sit up, startled, and succeeded only in whacking his head on the underside of the table. Scowling, and rubbing his head, he crawled over to Remus, and plonked himself down cross legged in front of the other boy, resting his chin in his hands.

"It's alright, Remus." He said eventually, patting his friend's knee awkwardly. "It's not your fault. Peter's the incompetent loony who doesn't seem to be able to guard a door... You know," he whispered conspiratorially, "I wasn't of much use either. I just stood there, like an iceberg or something. James was the only one who kept his head. So don't feel bad Remus. Don't feel so bad for being human."

-----

Sirius's words struck Remus' heart much like the guilt had, and rather than stopping his tears they only seemed to fuel them. It was obvious that he had not guessed his secret - and if he had, he was an _exceedingly_ good actor - but to have someone console him like he _was_ human... he had not had such comforting words since before his mother had died, and he had been too young to remember them. It was new to him, new and scary, and he could not halt his crying.

"B-b-but you and J-James are _br-br-brave_," he wept. "I'm n-n-not, I w-wouldn't have r-r-run if I w-w-was! I'm n-not a _Gr-Gr-Gryffindor _like y-you and J-J-James!" He wiped his cheeks with the ragged sleeve of his robes, burying his head in fear and shame. "I d-d-don't d-deserve you all as fr-fr-friends."

-----

Sirius snorted - classily, though - and stared at Remus indignantly.

"Don't be so daft, Remus! The Sorting Hat does not make errors twice in a row! Look, if you're this afraid of being caught, and you still came... Then that makes you a whole lot braver than James and I put together! Courage isn't the absence of fear, you know. It's the ability to go on and face the danger anyway. Not being scared isn't courageous or heroic, its foolish! So stop crying, Remus. We've chosen you as our friend. That's an unconditional offer, you know. You don't have to earn it, or do anything, or be anything to _deserve _it. I'm not going to take it back, or abandon you. An alliance is not something that can just be disregarded because of a difference in personality or opinion. Besides, what sort of a wizard would I be if I just deserted someone who was afraid? That would be considered wrong by all parties - muggle, wizard or otherwise."

He fell silent for a moment, before bowing his head and moving his hands back to his lap, suddenly feeling tired. "Remus... To be perfectly honest... The one that isn't a Gryffindor is me. We all know it. Slytherin is in my blood. That's the way it's always been, and that's the way it will stay."

_Whether I like it or not..._

_-----_

Remus finally glanced up, his face streaked red like it had been so many times before. "B-b-but you _are_ br-brave, Sirius," he said quietly. "Y-y-you s-survived your f-family's curse, and r-returned to l-living in sc-school n-n-normally. Y-you're no m-m-more Slytherin than I-I-I am." He wiped the final tears from his cheeks, his sleeves sodden. "A-and then wh-wh-what about m-me? _Y-y-you_ were afraid, t-too, and I j-j-just deserted y-you. S-so what k-k-kind of w-wizard am _I_?"

He hugged his arms around his body, a comforting and familiar grip that managed to bypass his long bite scar. "I-I-I'm sorry, S-Sirius. I sh-sh-shouldn't be c-complaining like th-this. Y-y-you don't n-need to h-h-hear it, y-you have pr-pr-problems of your own." He pushed himself out from under the table, standing up with his arms still around him, and came face to face with one of their conjured jack-o-lanterns. A moment passed in silence, and then Remus lashed out and sent it flying across the Great Hall to smash against the far wall.

He just did not care any more.

-----

Sirius stared at the spattered orange remains of the pumpkin and shook his head slowly, before waving his wand. Instantly, the pumpkin was repaired, and with another quick charm and a flick of his wrist, they were full to bursting with gloopy multicoloured gunge. Sirius nodded to James, who quickly performed the rest of the necessary charms.

Their mission completed, the boys quickly returned to Gryffindor Tower, for a night of fitful sleep, plagued by dreams of pumpkins, and first years with greasy hair and malicious smiles.


	10. Visiting the Hospital

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

'**Visiting the Hospital'**

It was about six o'clock on the evening of the second of November. Up in the Gryffindor dormitories, young Remus Lupin was carefully retrieving his tattered old travelling cloak from his scratched trunk and placing it around his shoulders.

Yet again, Remus had changed. OK, so they had not been turned in by whomever had caught them preparing their Halloween prank - which had gone exceedingly well, by all accounts - but after his talk with Sirius under one of the long tables, Remus had begun to retreat slightly. He was still close friends with the other three First Years, especially so with Sirius, but calling himself a coward (in no uncertain terms) had made him realise just how stressful this friendship was. He was constantly lying to all of them, pretending that nothing was wrong and that he was, in fact, as human as they thought him to be. And despite Sirius's comforting words, he still did not feel as though he deserved the friendship of three such kind boys.

So he had tried to distance himself ever so slightly, returning to his old habits of hunching in upon himself and speaking quietly. His stutter had hit back in full force, for it had been slowly but surely slipping away. And now, on the night of the full moon, he was preparing to lie to their faces and tell them all that he was visiting his mother in the hospital. His cloak now securely fastened, he left the dormitory to find his friends in the Common Room.

He did not need to search for long. Sirius, James and Peter had claimed a set of squishy chairs from the second evening of term, and Remus had only needed to pull up another to join them. The four of them sat there every day, for no one dared to challenge Sirius and James's constant threats of lifelong curses upon anyone who took the chairs. So it was here that he found them, lounging carelessly around the coffee table whilst Peter struggled pointlessly with a Potions essay.

"G-g-guys?" he began, and they all looked up. "I-I'm going t-t-to visit m-my m-m-mother, s-so d-don't p-p-panic when I'm n-not in bed t-t-tonight." Refusing to meet any of their eyes, he turned on his heel and began to pick his way across to the back of the Fat Lady's portrait to leave.

-----

Sirius blinked up at the other boy in astonishment. _Going home?! That... That isn't allowed here, surely? Otherwise I would have been summoned home months ago!_

"Hey Remus! Wait!" He leapt up and hurried after the other boy, James and Peter close behind. "Remus! Why're you going home?! It's a Tuesday night! We've got lessons tomorrow!"

-----

Remus froze as Sirius called out his name, visibly wincing at his question. "I n-n-need to v-visit my m-m-mother in h-hospital," he said again, so quietly that no one other than his friends would hear. He looked at the floor, refusing to meet their eyes again. "She's n-not at S-Saint M-M-Mungo's, and th-there are only c-c-certain times I-I'm allowed t-t-to see her. H-her c-c-condition is unst-st-stable, you s-see, and w-we d-d-don't know w-when - _i-if_, they s-s-say, b-but I kn-know it's _w-when_ - she's g-going to d-d-die. Sh-she only allowed m-m-me to c-come t-t-to Hogwarts i-if they l-l-let m-me out t-to visit h-h-her, and P-P-Professor D-Dumbledore agreed. She d-d-doesn't c-care what I m-m-miss, I c-catch up a-a-anyway, so I-I'm n-n-never behind in my st-st-studies. I'm a 'Sp-Sp-Special C-Case.'" He finally looked up, his eyes terrified. "P-p-please l-let me g-g-go, there's a c-c-carriage outside f-for me and I c-c-can't let the d-driver wait any l-l-longer."

And little did they know just what little time Remus had left. Barely twilight, the moon would be risen in all of forty-five minutes. In all of fifty minutes, Remus would no longer be Remus.

But they could not know that.

-----

Sirius stared at Remus for a moment, silver eyes betraying nothing. _Special case? In all my years of preparation for attending this school, I never heard of a single circumstance that allows a student off-campus on a Tuesday evening. Whatsmore... He's awfully defensive. He wouldn't lie though..._

Would he?

James stood up suddenly, and clapped Remus on the shoulder. "Well, we'll go down to the doors with you, won't we Sirius?! We can't leave you to wander off all by yourself, can we! Anyway, no time to waste, so lets go!" James hurried off towards the portrait, and it took Sirius a full twenty seconds to summon up enough presence of mind to give Remus a slight nod, and hurry off after James, looking determinedly straight ahead, refusing to catch Remus' eye.

-----

Remus glanced back to the floor as Sirius finally reacted, giving a tiny nod before setting off to the portrait hole. He glanced to the floor again, wondering at Sirius's coldness, before following his friends out of the Common Room. There was just no point in trying to convince them not to accompany him, he would just try and throw them off if they offered to take him to his "carriage," but he sensed a wariness from Sirius.

He pondered why as he walked in silence, tagging behind Sirius, James and (once he had caught up) Peter. They knew of his "mother's illness," he told them about it in the library, so it could not be surprise at that. Perhaps his explanation just was not good enough?

And just like that, the panic began to set in again.

-----

During the slow walk through the rapidly darkening corridors of Hogwarts, Sirius watched Remus closely. Though there was nothing really _suspicious_, per say, there was definitely something that Sirius couldn't quite place his finger on. _There's something... Something different about him. Something... Ugh._ Sirius gave up in disgust, as whatever it was that had alerted his suspicions drifted back into the cobwebby back corners of his mind, successfully evading his grasp.

Shaking his head, he walked a bit faster, catching up with James who was leading the way - and out of the corner of his eye, he could've sworn he saw Remus' shoulders tense.

-----

By the time the four of them had reached the Entrance Hall, Remus was well into the stages of a mild panic attack. He could not stop himself from trembling, so he wrapped his arms around himself to try and stop people from seeing it. Hyperventilation began to set in as his chest began to ache, and he clutched his ribcage harder as his head began to spin. Not only was this because of his worry about Sirius's less-than-friendly reaction, but these symptoms also signified the beginning of his transformation process.

He had just thirty minutes left to get to his room in the Shrieking Shack before he became the hated beast hidden deep within him.

Just thirty more minutes to savour the sensation of humanity before he lost it for the night.

Oh, Merlin, just let him get to the doors and leave. Just let him _leave!_

_-----_

For once, it was James, not Sirius, who was paying attention to his surroundings, and consequently it was him who heard the footsteps first. "Quick!" he hissed. "Remus, go! We'll cover for you! Go!" Sirius tensed, and was just about to follow James, who was hurrying back towards the staircase, when he turned back.

"Remus?" He said. "I... I hope your mother feels better soon." Then, with a slight smile, and a swish of silk robes, he turned, and hurried after James.

-----

Remus suddenly snapped to attention at the sound of approaching footfalls, and he quickened his pace to reach the huge main doors of the castle. He was just about to whisk them open and sneak outside when he heard Sirius speak. Alas, he did not have time to thank Sirius for his kind gesture before he caught sight of a sliver of robes making their way up from the dungeons. Deciding once more that he did not wish to be caught in the act of breaking curfew _again_, he shot a smile at the back of Sirius's head before darting through the doors and out into the twilight.

Once the doors were closed behind him, he could relax. No one could see him, not any more, and with a swift shake that made his entire body spasm, he shook off his panic. He refused to smile as he set off at a run, moving at a speed impossible for normal humans, sprinting across the grounds and towards the Whomping Willow.

Towards his living nightmare.

-----

They didn't even make it to the staircase.

Instead, the greasy-haired kid from the other night crept out from the corridor leading to the dungeons, his face set in a triumphant scowl. Before James or Sirius could do anything - namely make threats of curses, hexes, teachers and death - the kid spoke.

"You're not supposed to be out here." His voice was surprisingly steady and smooth - completely contrasting with his jittery, childish appearance. "First-years aren't allowed outside after dark. I'll tell a teacher that you're trying to sneak out."

James spluttered indignantly in protest, but it was Sirius who spoke, his monotonous voice aristocratic and emotionless. "We're not going outside."

The kid's scowl deepened and he shrugged. "Well. It's my word against yours. And who are they going to believe? An A-grade student, or a pair of pranksters with no regard for the rules who ruin certain festive holidays for everyone with ill-planned chaos and destruction?"

This was just unforgivable. James went red and stepped forwards, but Sirius stopped him with a single hand on his shoulder. "Don't, James. He's bluffing. He's got no proof. Nothing. Somewhat hypocritical of you to mention _ill-planning,_ don't you think, Slytherin?" It was the Slytherin's turn to blush, now. "What is it that you want, anyway? We've no quarrel with you."

The kid sneered, but Sirius' could've sworn he could see something almost... desperate, almost hopeful in the boy's eyes. However, before he could speak, the unmistakeable sound of footsteps approached, accompanied by the harsh voice of Professor McGonagall.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! FIRST-YEARS, BREAKING CURFEW! AND TWO GRYFFINDORS AT THAT! EXPLAIN YOURSELVES, IMMEDIATELY!"

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but the Slytherin got there first. "They're sneaking out!" McGonagall glared at him.

"Thank you Mr. Snape - but do kindly follow my instructions, and explain your own presence here?!" James snorted, and finally spoke up.

"Professor, we were just saying goodbye to Remus - you know, cos he has to go home and stuff-" McGonagall glared at him.

"Be that as it may, Mr. Potter, it is against the rules! Forbidden, you understand! You must never attempt this again. Is that understood?!" Sirius shook his head.

"We just felt it was wrong to let him go alone, Professor. He's our friend." McGonagall's eyes looked suspiciously shiny for a moment, before she seemed to pull herself together, and remind herself of her own anger.

"While that is admirable, Mr. Black, it is against the rules! Therefore, all three of you shall serve detention with me - for the rest of the week! Is that clear?"

"But, Professor McGonagall, I was just making sure they weren't going to pull another prank, that's all!" McGonagall turned slowly to face Snape.

"As I am sure I've already said, Mr. Snape, keep to your own business! Your detention still stands. As for you two... I think a weeks detention will still suffice. I am sure you have learnt the error of your ways - and I trust it will not happen again."

James sighed and together with Sirius, trailed back to Gryffindor Tower, leaving Snape standing alone in the darkened corridor.

The Marauders would never know that all he had wanted was to make friends.


	11. Remember, Remember

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

**Remember, Remember…**

Orion Black stared out of the window in the master bedroom of Number 12, watching the rain with a scowl. Fat raindrops, the size of bullets, spattered against the already weathered glass, leaving the view nothing but a smudged, murky blur of ever-dwindling light. Eventually, the Lord and Master of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black moved away from the window, wine glass clutched in a gloved hand, and went to stand by his wife.

Walburga was sitting at her dressing table, plastering make up over her high, prominent cheekbones, filling the air with the chalky scent of the white powder. She looked up at Orion, and pursed her lips angrily. "Well?! If you have the gall to even suggest such a thing, then don't you think you should take the planning elsewhere?! Such deeds are not fit for a Lady's ears!"

Orion sniffed haughtily. "Well, if ever I see one present, then I shall know to hold my tongue." He continued smoothly over Walburga's outraged protests, setting his glass down onto her dressing table. "He is your son, after all, and strangely enough... I have yet to hear a single protest. Will you not beg, Walburga? Will you not fight for him? For his life?" Walburga sat silently for a moment, before lowering her make up brush and turning to face Orion properly.

"I... I was under the impression we were debating his lineage - not his life." Orion smiled coldly.

"But then are we not in agreement? After all, it is so often that those painted lips of yours voice the words - Mudblood Scum. You are of the same opinion as me, Walburga. The Mudbloods, the filth, the lying, blood-traitor wretches - they should all be eradicated! You know it to be true. You know the cause is worthy. He should be destroyed, Walburga. He has poisoned his blood with his Gryffindor heart. It's no good to us, anymore."

Walburga reached slowly for her lipstick, painting them a deep, bloody red. She smacked her lips once, and reached for a string of pearls. "Whatever you say, Lord Black. Though... It would be an awful shame... To bring such shame to the family. Surely it would be more worthwhile to just... Bring him under control. I am sure this... Gryffindor mutation can be beaten out of him. He's not that brave, whiny little brat. After all, we don't want to have to use Regulus, do we? He's far too... weak. He would be torn to pieces by those wolves at the Ministry, and the Dark Council. Our family would crumble into the dust! Everything we've worked for... It depends on the firstborn, Orion. The most powerful. You know this!"

Orion nodded thoughtfully. "Fine, he shall be spared. However, if he should continue to defy us... If he goes too far to be brought back to the Dark... If ever the day comes when he is of no use, then we are agreed as to what should be done."

Walburga nodded. "Agreed." She picked up her hairbrush and began to comb her thinning hair, and Orion went back to the window, sipping contentedly at his wine.

Out in the corridor, Regulus Black slid slowly to the floor, his face white. _I... No! That they would actually... This cannot be happening! It... It is not safe here. Sirius must not come back! He must never come back for me! I... He has to stay away, or they'll kill him!_

He's going to die!

_-----_

Sirius had woken up weirdly early, before the sun had even fully risen. He laid still for a while, singing near-silently to himself, an old muggle tune, or so he'd been told.

"Remember, Remember, the fifth of November..."

He eyed the parcels at the bottom of his bed distrustfully as he muttered the rest of the song.

"Gunpowder, treason and plot..."

Sighing, he flopped an arm over his eyes. _If they wanted to kill me still, they would've done it by now... Unless they're trying to lull me into a false sense of security... It's like slow torture! I could just Incendio the lot of them..._

He frowned, and closed his eyes, but sleep was now well beyond his reach. The sun was streaming in brightly through the windows, and Peter was snoring loud enough to wake the dead.

-----

Remus awoke with a start (as usual) and sat up, rubbing his eyes and suppressing a yawn. It had been two days since the full moon and he had managed to get his sling removed, but a thick bandage was still bound tightly around his abdomen and another around his right leg. It had not been too bad this moon; despite the semi-panic attack just before his transformation, the mere recollection of not being ridiculed any more had seemed to calm the wolf. OK, so he had still been pretty bashed up - enough for his friends to question him about it, anyway. According to him, he had fallen down a flight of stairs whilst in the hospital, so the Healers were able to get him help quickly.

Still, his injuries were not the first things on his mind this morning. No. This morning, the first thing he was aware of was the vague scent of Dark Magic in the room. Where was it coming from?

You guessed it; Sirius's bed.

-----

There was something evil in the presents, Sirius was sure of it. But what? A Hex? A hair-loss curse? An Unforgivable? He sighed, and reached for the package wrapped in brown parcel paper.

A sword.

A Black Family by the looks of it. The blade was bright grey, and on closer inspection, Sirius could see that it was coated in silver. The hilt was silver too, and intricately wrought with two leering dragons, dark-green emeralds glinting in their eyes. Sirius frowned in disgust, and shoved it back into the Black leather sheath, embossed in silver with the Black family crest on one side, and the motto in runes on the other.

"Toujours Pur..." He muttered to himself, scooping up the sword and going to put it straight in his trunk so that the putrid stench of Dark Magic wouldn't bother anyone else in the Dorm.

-----

Remus warily opened his curtains as the scent of Dark Magic got stronger, only to see Sirius placing an object in his trunk. Wondering exactly what was going on, he tried to block the smell from his mind as he crawled out of bed to go into the bathroom for a shower.

That was when he saw the parcels at the foot of Sirius's bed, and the stench forced itself back upon him. Whatever Sirius had been holding was almost powerless compared to whatever else was hidden amongst the packages, but Remus could only be thankful that it was nowhere near as strong as the Blood Magic letter he had received back in September.

Debating about whether or not to question Sirius about the magic again, he managed to catch sight of his disgusted face. This made his decision for him; he obviously did _not_ plan on receiving these artefacts.

But _why_ did Sirius have all of these parcels in his bed? What happened to the Owl Post?

"M-morning, Sirius," he greeted quietly, not wanting to wake their other room mates. "Wh-wh-what's with the p-packages?"

-----

Sirius shifted awkwardly, and quietly closed his trunk.

"They're birthday presents," he mumbled, poking at his trunk with his toe. "You... Can you sense it? The Darkness, I mean?"

-----

Remus blinked once, twice, three times before Sirius's words had sunk in. _Birthday presents?_ He had never received a present for his birthday other than a more liberal punishment for even daring to mention it - apart from when, of course, his mother was alive, but he could not remember those birthdays. So... was today Sirius's birthday? Realisation hit him like a punch in the gut.

"Oh, S-S-Sirius, I'm s-sorry, I d-d-didn't know it w-was your b-birthday today!" he apologised. "I w-w-would've tried t-to get you s-s-something!" And, before he could reply, he continued with, "And y-yes, I c-c-can sense it. There's D-D-Dark Magic h-hidden in there s-s-somewhere, y-you need t-t-to be careful in c-case it h-h-hurts you again!"

-----

Sirius half smiled and shook his head. "Don't worry about it. My parents... I think they've stopped trying to kill me, you know. They might be trying to groom me into the perfect son and heir instead, though. To be honest, I'm not sure which is worse..."

He flopped back down onto his bed, and reached for the next parcel, but before he opened it, he glanced up at Remus and patted the duvet next to him. "Sit down then! It's no fun opening presents by myself..."

-----

Remus could hardly believe what he was hearing. "S-s-seriously?" he asked incredulously, wandering over to the bed as if he were in a dream. He sat next to Sirius so lightly that he hardly disturbed the mattress, his amber eyes roving over the mound of presents in awe. "Why d-d-do you h-have so _m-m-many_? I d-d-don't think I've _e-e-ever_ seen so m-many p-p-presents!"

-----

Sirius could feel himself blushing slightly, and shifted awkwardly. "Oh, well, I guess I have a lot of relatives, that's all..." He quickly pulled a present towards him, and seeing as how it didn't seem to have that distinctive prickle of Darkness about it, he tossed it to Remus. "Get stuck in then. Or we'll be here all year..."

Without waiting for a response, he reached for a small package and letter from his brother Regulus. Stashing the letter for later on, he opened the parcel. It was a small silver pendant on a leather string in the shape of a star, and set with a strange silver-y stone. Sirius inhaled slightly, and held it up to the light, where it shone as though Regulus had plucked it from the night sky itself.

"Wow, Reggie..." He breathed.

-----

Before Remus could even begin to open the package that Sirius had tossed him, Sirius had already opened another. This present he now held in his hand, a shiny star-shaped pendant that looked beautiful but smelt revolting. How Sirius could not smell it was beyond Remus, it was so potent. But at the complete lack of reaction from it when Sirius picked it up, Remus assumed that it was merely saturated with the stench from being surrounded by Dark Magic for however long it had been.

"Th-th-that's _beautiful_, S-Sirius," he whispered, his eyes fixated on it as it twirled from Sirius's fingers. "It's l-l-like the m-moon. L-like a st-st-star." A pause followed in which Remus glanced briefly away from the pendant towards Sirius's face. "I-it's the s-s-same c-colour as your eyes, y-you kn-kn-know." He could not, however, seem to keep his eyes off the small pendant, and he continued to stare at it as though it were a wild animal, ready and waiting to pounce. He had to force himself not to reach out and stroke it; it was, after all, Sirius's present.

But it was just _so_ beautiful…

-----

Sirius went red. "Yeah, well, it's just a necklace... My little brother probably ordered it from some cheap Daily Prophet advert... Or stole it from the family vault or something..."

Regardless of his dismissive words, Sirius tied it around his neck with shaking fingers and utmost care.

"So... Anything good in that one?" He asked, opening a large black quill with a suspiciously sharp tip...

-----

Remus' eyes still following the quasi-hypnotic pendant, he did not snap out of his reverie until Sirius spoke again. Finally remembering the present clutched in his hand, he tore his gaze from the silver pendant (his common sense _finally_ kicking in - if he had touched it and it _was_ silver...) and examined the silver-and-black wrapping paper.

Remus - ever the perfectionist - carefully opened the parcel, ensuring that the Spell-o-tape did not rip the paper and that it could then be flattened out into a perfect rectangle shape. Only then did he glance at Sirius's present; a thick, leather-bound book on the study of the Dark Arts (complete with definitions of spells, judging by the thickness of it) and Dark Creatures. "A-and again, wh-what a n-n-nice present," he said, less enamoured with it than the necklace. "L-l-looks like a f-first ed-d-dition... Th-this m-m-must be w-worth a _f-f-fortune_!" He handed it to Sirius for inspection, for he did not forget that it was, indeed, _his_ present.

-----

Sirius put down the new broom he'd got, and snorted. "Yeah. Probably. That doesn't mean it's any good though, does it? I'd much rather get some decent Defence AGAINST the Dark Arts books than all this Black Magic rubbish." He took the book from Remus, sighing. "Look, there are probably loads of presents like this. You don't have to help if you don't want to, or if it's like... disturbing you, or anything..."

-----

Remus shook his head rapidly. "It's f-f-fine, S-Sirius. I d-don't mind h-h-helping you, it's n-not as if y-y-you're d-dying from something ag-gain. It's _i-i-intriguing_, all of th-these pr-pr-presents." He leaned over Sirius to pick up another small package, opening it in the same meticulous way as before to reveal a small pot of what looked like broom handle polish, but smelled like something else.

-----

Sirius dropped a crystal flask of veritaserum on the bed and leant over to have a look at what Remus was holding. "What on earth is that?" He asked, taking a curious sniff - and instantly wishing he hadn't.

"Oh god, put the lid back on! That's Bubotuber Pus! You didn't get any of it on you, did you?" He asked anxiously, seizing Remus' free hand, and checking it worriedly for petrol-smelling boils.

-----

Remus smiled calmly, but snatched his hand back as though Sirius was scalding him. _He could not let him see his scars..._

"I d-d-didn't t-touch it, S-Sirius," he assured, putting the lid back on the pot and placing it on the bed next to the other presents. "Honestly, y-y-you w-worry too m-much about m-m-me. You sh-sh-shouldn't have t-to." He clasped his hands in his lap, then, running his fingers over his wrists nervously.

_'He almost saw the scars!'_ he thought to himself angrily. _'Be more careful, Remus!'_

"Any m-m-more?" he asked, not sure if Sirius would want to risk his safety again despite his assurances.

-----

Sirius stared at Remus, hurt and bewildered. _All I did was touch his hand! He's acting like I'm diseased!_

He could feel tears _tears?!_ stinging in his eyes and stood up abruptly. "No. Wouldn't want you to get _**infected**_with any nasty evil Dark Black Magic, would we?!" He snarled defensively, before whirling around, snatching up a new set of robes, and Regulus' letter, and storming into the bathroom and slamming the door.

-----

Remus looked after Sirius in disconcertion, wondering what exactly had just happened. From the little he could gather, Sirius thought that he was worried about 'catching' Dark Magic. His heart sank. He did not _care_ about Dark Magic when his body was already _saturated_ with it.

He had thought that Sirius had known his human persona quite well; there had _never_ been any physical contact between the two which had not ended in terror or obliviousness. Remus _never_ touched anyone, or allowed anyone to touch him, in fear of them discovering his scars. Obviously, Sirius did not know him as well as Remus wished he could.

Remus sat there for a few more moments in his threadbare pyjamas, rubbing his arms and wrists absently, before finally standing and returning to his own bed. Sirius obviously did not care about him enough to learn about him, and this drove a silver stake into his heart. His closest friend hardly knew him, and this brought a tear to his eye.

His closest friend hardly knew him.

-----

_He must not know me at all,_ Sirius thought dejectedly, head in hands, _if after everything we've spoken about, he still thinks I'm one of them. If he __**still**__ thinks I'm Dark and evil... If he mistakes my clumsy efforts at a friendship for something sinister and disturbing... Why can't anyone ever EVER see past the name?!_ He snarled, and threw a nearby bottle of shampoo at the wall, where it smashed and dripped slowly to the floor in big green globs.

After sitting and silently watching the goo crust over into a fetid pool of putrid nastiness, Sirius stood up and wandered over to the shower. His hair needed a wash.

A short while later, he was dressing slowly in the traditional pureblood clothing - black trousers and a black silk tunic top, with a silver buckled belt and edging. He was just about to go back outside, when he saw Regulus' letter, forgotten on the floor. He smiled slightly, and scooped it up, opening it quickly - almost desperately.

He had been looking at the piece of parchment for mere seconds, when his face crumpled in dismay. He stormed out of the bathroom, letter crumpled in his fist, fully prepared to punch the first person who got in his way.

However, punching a James Potter who is bearing a very tastefully wrapped present is always a very stupid thing to do, so Sirius restrained himself, and nodded his thanks. He opened the parcel - and couldn't help but gasp. It was a soft silk cloak - black on the outside - but oh so deliciously RED on the inside that it hurt Sirius' eyes. The longer he looked at it, the more it made him think - of Lions, of Dragons gold, of Fiendfyre, of phoenixes - of Gryffindor. He swung it eagerly around his shoulders, and grinned at James. "Thank You." He whispered sincerely. "Thank you very much."

-----

Remus sat on his bed for countless minutes, hardly looking up when James called across a greeting to him. The dark-haired boy had tried to start a conversation, but Remus was so distracted with his thoughts that nothing really came of it. Words petered out into an awkward silence that only ended when the bathroom door creaked open to reveal a furious-looking Sirius.

Fearing that this anger was directed at him, Remus glanced prominently to the floor while James gave Sirius his gift. From Sirius's gasp of awe, Remus expected it to be amazingly expensive or beautiful or hand-crafted or rare... the list went on, and he closed his eyes tightly in sadness. If only he had known about Sirius's birthday, perhaps now he would have a gift for him to help reconcile with him. Alas, he did not, and he was forced to concede defeat.

A silent sigh escaped him as his shoulders slumped and a solitary tear began its trek down his scarred right cheek. He stood up immediately, then, and limped to his trunk to grab some faded old Muggle clothes before making his way to the bathroom to get ready for what he was sure would be a miserable day.

-----

James clapped Sirius on the shoulder, nearly knocking the shorter boy flying, and laughed. "It's nothing, Sirius! My mum picked it out - she knows about these things better than me, obviously..." Sirius rolled his eyes - but at the mention of 'mum', his mood darkened again. James had already bounced off to wake up Peter, leaving Sirius to sit alone on his present-laden bed, feeling suddenly and terribly unhappy.

Sighing, he sifted through the presents until he found a box of muggle sweets. He then sat back against the headboard of his bed, and waited for Remus to re-appear.

-----

Remus spent slightly longer than he normally would in the shower, scrubbing almost endlessly at the scars on his arms that he knew would never wash away. His arms were red by the time he finally gave up, but the tear tracks on his face were now no longer visible. Drying himself quickly, he carefully rewrapped his bandages before slipping into his clothes; faded old jeans and a blue long-sleeved shirt.

Wasting time by spending an extra few minutes brushing his long hair, he finally admitted that he could not avoid Sirius any longer. Scooping up his pyjamas with a sigh, he emerged from the bathroom and headed straight for his bed, not looking at anyone as he carefully folded his garments under his pillow and made the bed.

Yet he was acutely aware of a pair of eyes following his every move.

-----

Sirius wandered over to stand near Remus' bed awkwardly, and held out the box of muggle candy. "Remus, I just wanted to say I was sorry. I should never have made you see all that horrid Dark stuff, it wasn't fair on you, and I really don't blame you for the way you acted, so, I'd really like it if you accepted this as a sign of my apology, and then perhaps we can go back to being friends again?"

Sirius cringed. That had to have been the most words - and indeed the most grammatically debatable words - that he'd ever said in one go. What was the world coming to?!

-----

Remus finally looked up, gold eyes meeting silver ones as he turned. "I'm n-n-not b-bothered about the D-Dark Artefacts, S-S-Sirius," he said quietly. "I'm n-not scared of th-th-them, not n-now that th-th-they're not t-trying to k-k-kill you any m-more. I-if you th-th-think that's why I-I-I p-pulled away, i-it's wrong. I j-j-just d-don't like ph-physical contact, n-not without a w-w-warning, at l-least. Th-th-thank you f-for y-your apology, h-h-however. A-and now it's m-m-my turn."

Remus took the box of sweets from Sirius, flipped the box around, and offered them back. "I-I-I'm s-sorry for g-giving you the wr-wr-wrong impression, a-and n-n-now that y-you understand wh-wh-what it _r-r-really_ was I t-too would l-like you to a-a-accept my apology s-s-so th-that we c-can be fr-fr-friends again."

-----

Sirius couldn't help but grin. "Do you really mean that?" Without even waiting for an answer - Remus wasn't the type to lie after all - Sirius opened up the box of sweets and offered it back to Remus. "Dyou want to share? I mean, I can't eat them all, can I? I'd end up like Peter!"

-----

It was now five-thirty on Sirius's twelfth birthday, and every student in the school was gathered in the castle grounds. Teachers and students alike were dressed in non-regulation clothes, wrapped up warm against the bitter wind. The sun was slowly beginning to sink beneath the horizon, watched by hundreds of pairs of eyes. As soon as it disappeared, a massive pile of dry wood would be set alight and the celebrations would begin. It was Bonfire Night, after all, and the traditional Wizarding long weekend had already begun.

Remus was stood with his three friends, his travelling cloak over his shoulders and his eyes prematurely alight with excitement. This was his first Wizarding festival, so he had no idea what to expect. He wondered exactly what this would entail; there was no food inside the castle, no food out here, and he could not stop his stomach from rumbling loudly. Peter glanced at him, a pained look on his face, as he, too, complained of hunger. This soon started a play-fight between him and James which lasted a good few minutes until one of the Gryffindor Prefects came and separated them.

Finally, finally, the sun disappeared. The crowd of students roared as Professor Dumbledore raised hi wand, setting the wood alight with a silent flick of his wand. The bonfire shot up in flames, reaching a hundred metres into the air and appearing to almost lick at the night sky above. At Dumbledore's announcement of the festival's beginning, a flash of light signified the sudden arrival of a huge table laden with food. Remus wasted no time in running to it, Peter following close behind him.

He had a feeling that tonight was going to be the best night of his life.

-----

Sirius remained standing by the bonfire, and closed his eyes, tipping his head back, revelling in the familiar warmth of the fire. Eventually he looked up, and smiled softly, unguardedly, as he watched tiny sparks of light that were brave enough from the inferno, and spiral lazily upwards towards the stars.

_This... This is what it should be like. No Blood Magic, no Black rituals... Just... Just the __**magic**__... Where did we go so wrong?! How... How did we get so far away from the stuff that matters?_ Shaking his head, and clutching his pendant from Regulus, Sirius looked around dazedly, wondering where his friends had got to...

-----

Now that Remus had food, friends and warmth, he was exceedingly happy. It also helped that there were _piles_ of red-wrapped chocolate on the table; when he had caught sight of it, he could have _sworn_ that he saw Professor Dumbledore's eyes twinkle. He shoved uncountable numbers of bars into his pockets, not caring that he looked like a bit of an idiot - he had _chocolate_, which he would share around with his room mates late into the night.

It was going to be _fantastic_.

Remus hurried back to Sirius, a plate piled with food in each hand and a smile on his face, as well as pocket-loads of chocolate. "Th-this is j-j-just magical!" he said in awe, forcing one of the plates onto Sirius. "D-d-do they d-do this every y-year?" he asked, his golden eyes shining in the scarlet inferno.

-----

Sirius accepted the plate gratefully, and nodded. "Well, it is tradition. I suppose you could say that it's similar to muggle Christmas. Everyone celebrates it - wizards all over the world! However, not many people still remember the actual origin of the celebration. It's not surprising, either. It's actually a very dark, pagan ceremony... Even most pureblood families don't like to think of the background behind it all - they consider it to be Dark. Funnily enough, my family seem to think it's the most important even in their lives. Big surprise there..." He shook his head, smiling wryly, and tucked in to his food.

-----

Remus returned his awkward smile, picking up a chicken wing and quickly devouring it. "Who c-c-cares a-about the origins, i-i-it's wh-what it is _n-n-now_ that c-counts," he said sagely, still watching the dancing flames. "N-now, it's about f-f-friendship. Everyone's l-laughing, smiling, t-t-talking. It's j-just b-b-brilliant!" He finally looked away from the fire, glancing at Sirius. "Nice b-b-birthday t-treat, isn't it? A m-m-massive c-celebration, on y-your birthday, _and_ a l-l-legal b-break of curfew." He grinned widely before eating another chicken wing.

-----

Sirius laughed softly, and smiled at Remus, picking at a chicken drumstick. Eventually he gave in, and handed to the plate to Peter, who was loitering hopefully near Sirius' elbow.

James skipped over, grinning. "Hey, Sirius! Bet this beats all those creepy rituals your family do, doesn't it?!" Sirius scowled.

"How dyou know about that?!"

James waved a hand airily. "Oh, my parents were talking about it once... Something about illegal blood spells... I dunno. Have to say, it didn't really sound like a bundle of laughs. I mean, this is a lot better! There's food and a giant fire, and someone said there's gonna be FIREWORKS!"

Sirius' frown deepened. "You don't know what you're talking about, Potter!" He snapped. "Just because we didn't get distracted by the food, and... and crap, just because we follow the same rituals as MERLIN himself, it does not mean-"

"Oh come on! Merlin?! Who're you trying to kid? There's no way Merlin was into Blood Magic - he was a Light Wizard!"

"Actually," Sirius replied coolly, "Blood magic is simply one of the oldest, and most powerful types of magic in existence - Merlin wouldn't have used any of this new, water-ed down, weakened, so-called **Light** stuff-"

"Weakened?! You sound exactly like some kind of Dark supporter! What're you trying to say, exactly?!"

Sirius scrunched up his nose, and looked like he was about to continue the argument - when the fight just seemed to drain out of him. "Sorry. Let's just... Let's just not think about it. Just... Go watch the fireworks, James."

-----

Remus watched the fight unfold in silence, wishing he knew what he could say to end it. He was never good in arguments, either completely losing it or losing the fight. Luckily, Sirius seemed to end it before he had to step in, and James walked off in a huff with Peter tagging along behind him. Wishing he could so something to help the obviously-dejected Sirius, he fished quickly in his laden pockets and grabbed a handful of dark chocolate. "H-h-here," he said softly, offering him the chocolate. "It's n-n-not that m-milky stuff. P-p-promise. J-just don't be d-d-depressed on your b-birthday. And w-we still have t-t-to watch the f-f-fireworks later. P-p-please ch-cheer up, OK?" He looked straight at Sirius, his eyes wide and pleading. He just wanted Sirius to smile again, like when they had been sharing the chocolate that morning. Sirius was the life and soul of the four friends, and having him depressed made Remus unconsciously echo him.

-----

Sirius looked at the offered chocolate, and couldn't help but laugh delightedly. "No where did you get that?!" He chewed one thoughtfully, his eyes fractionally less cold. Before he could say anything more, the fireworks began, fluorescent colours spattering the sky - explosions of shocking orange, and violent purple, electric blue, poisonous green, all flashing brightly across the night sky.

Sirius glanced over at Remus and grinned, feeling suddenly completely contented. _It really doesn't matter,_ Sirius decided, _that my family don't love me. Because, to be honest, my friends are the ones that make me feel the happiest I've ever been. And I won't give them up, or betray them for anything. Not for my life, for my family, for money, power, love... I won't._

I won't.

_-----_

Remus watched the fireworks in unsuppressed awe, finally realising that they were. He had never seen them before in his life, and had assumed them to be some sort of trick involving the bonfire, but oh, how wrong he was. The night sky was alight with random flashes of colour and light, reflecting their shapes into the lake below to create one of the most beautiful scenes he had ever seen. The fireworks crackles and sparkled, sending sparks floating aimlessly in the air, only to be lost in the whirl of colours from the others.

It felt as though his heart might just burst. Hogwarts was just so much better than he could possibly have imagined; he could cast spells, eat to his stomach's content, visit Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall if ever he needed to. And most importantly, he had _friends_. Friends had not been the only thing he was denied by his father, but they were certainly the most important. They were, as Dumbledore had suggested, his family above and beyond his father - you could choose your friends, after all. And here, he knew that he was loved. Here, he was welcomed. Here was _home_.


	12. If You Haven't Got A Penny

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**If You Haven't Got a Penny**

It was early afternoon of the seventeenth of December, and four young Gryffindor boys were out frolicking by the shores of the lake. A thick layer of snow covered the ground, and ice as deep as a man shone on the surface of the lake. It was to this that they had headed for, bottles of blue-coloured fire hanging around their necks for warmth in the subzero temperatures.

Over a month had passed since Sirius's birthday, and he and James were friends again - much to Remus' relief. James and Peter had packed their trunks and were taking advantage of their final hours left at school, for they were headed home for the Christmas holidays. Remus knew that his father would not want him home, so he had signed up to stay at school. Thankfully, so had Sirius.

The four friends were gathered excitedly by the lakeshore, gathering around Remus as he cast a complex spell on all of their shoes. Within a few seconds, silvery blades shone on the soles of their shoes; they were all going ice skating on the lake while they still could.

Remus was the first onto the ice, despite never having tried this before. This was his spell, after all, and he trusted himself to adequately test it out. If he had cast it right, then it should be impossible for any of them to fall over. And he had, indeed, cast it right; a sense of support suddenly settled over him, and he knew that he would not fall.

"It's w-worked, guys!" he called out, grinning widely as he pushed himself to skate faster. "C-come on!"

-----

Sirius whooped in delight and shot out onto the ice. He had been given many professional ice skating (as well as dance) lessons, that allowed him to feel completely at ease balancing only on a thin blade of silvery metal. He executed a perfect pirouette, ignoring James cries of 'fairy boy!' and 'Sirius' is a ballerina!', and skated over to Remus, zooming in circles all around the taller - but younger, as Sirius always pointed out - boy.

The ice was sparkling, the sun was shining, and the sky was a clear, cold blue, the same colour as the magicked fire round their necks. A perfect day, as far as anyone was concerned.

-----

emus laughed as Sirius skated around him in circles, literally running rings about him. "B-bit posh, isn't that, S-Sirius?" he snickered, skating over to him. Another change had come about Remus in the last month; after finally reconciling with Sirius (and regaining his confidence along the way) he was back to standing tall, and his stutter had begun to recede even more quickly than it had before. At the last full moon early in December, the trio had accompanied him to the Entrance Hall again (despite Professor McGonagall's warning not to) with the excuse that they were heading for dinner, and they wished his mother well before leaving him to set off. That moon had been easy on him; there were no broken bones, for once, so the only bandages he wore were hidden from view. They were none the wiser, for he had managed to disguise his limp perfectly.

Now, confident and happy, he laughed again. "C-come on, I'll race you b-back to the shore!" he grinned. "Ready, s-set... GO!" And then he set off, practically flying across the ice thanks to his lycanthropy. Today could not get any better.

-----

Sirius laughed, and skated smoothly after Remus. He may not have been as naturally fast as Remus, but years of technique gave him the speed to catch up, and they were soon skating neck and neck. Sirius collapsed on his back in the snow-covered grass, and was promptly joined by James, who after stuffing ice down Sirius' robes, legged it back to the castle to finish packing along with Peter.

Sirius stood up, shaking melting snow-y slush out of his hair, still grinning, his face pink from the cold, and managed to speak through chattering teeth. "T...This really w...was one of y...your better ideas, R...Remus! We sh...should do it...t ag...gain - like every y...year. Make it a t...tradition of s...some sort!"

-----

Remus laughed, too, stumbling over to Sirius after James and Peter had gone inside. He gave a second wave of his wand and muttered the counter-jinx, allowing the blades on their shoes to disappear so they could walk normally. "G-glad you liked it, S-Sirius," he answered, smiling as he pushed a lock of hair from his face. "And y-yes - every year w-we will come sk-sk-skating on the lake! You can t-teach us all some m-moves!" He grinned broadly before bending down to scoop up a handful of snow, moulding it into a ball and throwing it at Sirius. Laughing as it smacked into his torso, he turned and yelled, "Catch m-me if you can!" before he made his escape from any attacks.

-----

Sirius let out a hoarse bark of laughter, and dived after Remus. He hurled a ball of snow at his laughing friend - but instead of hitting him smack in the back of his tawny-head, it hit the person who suddenly walked out in front of them - bang in the face.

Sirius blinked, and then his face paled as he realised who he'd just hit in the face with a snowball. "Professor McGonagall! I... I'm terribly sorry, Professor! I didn't see you there..." He trailed off lamely, and looked at the floor, stifling his laughter. When he dared to chance a quick look upwards, he was surprised to see his stern Professor's lips twitching - as though repressing a smile. Shyly, Sirius let himself smile properly, and was adequately rewarded with a short nod from the Professor.

"That's quite alright, Mr. Black. I should know by now not to walk around the grounds during the winter months without adequate shielding. Anyway, we have more pressing matters to discuss. Such as why you are not on the train with your classmates! The Express departs in under an hour, Mr. Black!"

Sirius blinked. "Oh, no, I'm not going home, Professor. I'm staying here, with Remus!" Sirius watched in bewilderment, as instead of being reassured, McGonagall just seemed to get even more worried.

"But Mr. Black, your parents specifically requested that you return home! I gave you the letter weeks ago, did I not?" Sirius wordlessly shook his head, his good mood melting like the snow that was now dripping down the back of his neck. McGonagall looked at his pale face, and his suddenly blank eyes, and sighed. "I'm sorry, Mr. Black. But your parents demanded you return home, so I'm going to have to insist that you go and pack. You have 45 minutes." She looked over at Remus, and Sirius could see pity in her eyes. "Make the most of it."

Sirius stared after as she turned and left, and let out a sigh. "I should've known," he breathed. "It was just too good to be true."

-----

Remus could almost physically feel his heart sink as Professor McGonagall regaled the sad news. Not only was he now going to spend his Christmas alone, but _Sirius_...

Sirius was returning to a house filled with people who wanted to kill him, and Remus had never been more scared for another person since the death of his mother.

He watched Professor McGonagall until she was out of earshot, and then he finally turned to Sirius. "S-Sirius," he whispered, "you c-c-can't go! Y-you just c-can't, th-th-they'll kill you!"

-----

Sirius stared after McGonagall, his heart somewhere in his boots. __

I....

Remus...

I'm sorry.

I didn't want to leave you all alone!

He sighed, and muttered, "Remus. Think about it. They can kill me there, kill me here, it makes no difference. Besides, I don't think they want to kill me, really. I mean..." He whirled round to face Remus, his face pale, and his eyes shining with tears and desperation. "They can't want me dead! Not really! I'm their SON, Remus! I'm their SON! They should... They must, they MUST love me! Even just a bit, they have to... They have to..."

-----

Remus looked at Sirius's face is despair, wringing his hands in agitation. "B-b-but you're _th-there_, c-c-close to th-them! It j-j-just m-makes it easier f-for them! Even if th-they d-d-don't want to k-kill you, j-j-just... j-just..." He trailed off, running to Sirius in an instant and grabbing his shoulders. "P-please, Sirius, y-y-you have t-to do s-something, _anything_, t-t-to d-dissuade them from k-killing you!" He looked up at him, meeting his tearful eyes with his own.

"I c-can't l-l-lose you, S-S-Sirius!"

-----

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair, staring up at the slowly darkening sky. Suddenly, he took a couple of steps forwards, and gave Remus a brief, awkward hug, moving quickly out of the way afterwards, and blushing brightly, looking determinedly at the floor.

"You won't, Remus. Even if- No, you won't lose me, I promise."

_I promise._

_-----_

Remus was stood stock still, suddenly feeling... _warm._ He had just been _hugged_ for the first time in eight long years. He finally looked up from the ground only to see Sirius looking there, too, his stance awkward and closed off. He merely ignored it. If he could feel this _warmth_ from a hug, then Sirius could too. So he slowly stepped forward and wrapped his thin arms around the smaller boy, closing his eyes tightly to stop himself from crying.

"I trust you," he said sincerely, dearly hoping that Sirius had felt loved - if only for a second - before he stepped backwards. Finally opening his amber eyes, he looked anywhere but Sirius.

"As m-m-much as I d-don't want you to g-g-go, you m-must," he said sadly. "Y-you need t-t-to pack."

And with that, he turned and walked slowly towards the castle, finally letting his tears fall.

-----

Sirius watched him go, before flopping back into the snow, letting it block out all the noise from the castle, and stared up at the sky.

_There..._

There I am...

Sirius...

And Regulus, the Heart of Leo the Lion...

Reggie...

I'll be home soon. But...

You don't even want me there.

You don't...

You said so.

You hate me.

All of you.

All of you.

_-----_

Regulus lay awake, squirming excitedly. It was finally Christmas, and Sirius had come home! Despite the letter Regulus had written, his brother seemed no different - still defiant, loud, and opinionated. Still his brother.

_I'm so glad doesn't hate me. I... I should never have written that letter! I thought it would keep him safe, but... Well, mother and father weren't serious - they couldn't have been..._

Regulus sighed, and wriggled about a bit more.__

I want to get up, and go and open presents with Siri! Hurry up and rise, sun!

Eventually, after what felt like years, the grandfather clock in the hall struck five, and Regulus bolted out of bed, and along the corridor to Sirius' room. He burst in without knocking, and yelled, "MERRY CHRISTMAS SIRI!"

His words echoed deafeningly around the empty room. Regulus stood perfectly still, staring at Sirius' empty bed.__

He... He must've just gone to the bathroom - or the kitchen! He must've! Regulus dashed to the bathroom, but there was no one there. He searched the entire house, from basement to attic - but to no avail. Eventually, dejectedly, he trudged back to Sirius room, and flopped down on the unmade bed.

It was cold. Regulus turned his head slowly, letting the breeze from the open window play with his hair.  
_  
He's..._

He's really gone!

He's really gone and, and... Left me.

He's left me.

On Christmas Day!

I thought...

I thought you loved me!

I thought I was your brother!

Why would you leave me, Sirius!

Why?!

Regulus lay perfectly still, tears trailing down his pale face. Eventually, he felt his mother sit beside him on the bed, and he turned over, flinging his arms aorund her neck, in a rare display of affection. "He's gone, Mother! He's gone!"

And as his mother muttered soothing words, and stroked his hair, Regulus realised something.

_Mother and Father... They love me._

They'll never leave me.

They love me better than Sirius does.

As long as they love me -

I'll never be alone.  


**Author's Note: **Okay, sorry for the delay! Idiosyncratic-Silence, who normally posts these up has gone on holiday, and I'm not the most organized of people… I'll be posting a few of these up by the hour, I think, to make up for the wait!


	13. All I Want For Christmas

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**All I Want For Christmas**

Remus awoke in the early hours of the morning, his mind still reverberating from his recurring nightmare. The dormitory was dark, the silver light of the quarter moon shining through the window to illuminate the three empty beds surrounding him. The silence was pressing down on him, smothering him like it did at his house; James's snores, Peter's snuffles and Sirius's heavy breathing had become so familiar that the absence of them frightened him.

It had been a week since the other three had left, and Remus had spent the time reading his textbooks and borrowing the _Shopping_ section of the _Daily Prophet_ from the few students who remained. After trawling through the items on offer, he had eventually found four presents within his budget and had sent off for them. Wrapping them all in paper transfigured for him by Professor McGonagall (one sheet of which proclaimed 'Happy Birthday' in shimmering gold letters) he took them up to the owlery and got his anonymously-gifted owl, Roselina, to deliver them - two to Sirius, and one each for James and Peter.

Peter had a small box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, James a tub of Chocolate Cauldrons, and Sirius a box of Chocolate Frogs. Sirius's birthday present also happened to be the most expensive item he had ever bought; it was a small moon-shaped pendant carved from amber, small enough to sit next to the star that his brother had given him on his birthday. He dearly hoped that his friends appreciated his presents for the purchases had depleted his funds quite sufficiently, and he no longer owned a gold Galleon - not until his birthday, when three Galleons were transferred into his account from his mother's as part of his inheritance.

He sat up with a yawn and a stretch, grasping his wand from his bedside table and casting a quick "_Lumos_" to illuminate the room. The soft golden light cast a small bundle at the end of his bed into sight, and he reached for it curiously.

It was a pile of _presents_.

Remus had _actually_ got some Christmas presents!

The first one he grabbed was wrapped in brightly-coloured paper, and was signed from James. The second was wrapped in plain gold paper, signed from Peter. The third was just an envelope, bulging slightly, written in his father's distinctive script. But there was not a fourth.

There was nothing from Sirius.

-----

With a whirl of cool green fire, Sirius Black landed feet first in the fireplace of the Gryffindor Common Room. Casually brushing an invisible speck of dust off his thick black and silver travelling cloak, Sirius headed for the staircase, lugging a polished mahogany trunk behind him. He finally reached the First-Year Boys dormitory, and silently slipped inside. He plonked the trunk on his bed, yanked off his cloak, and fished a package out of the inner pocket. He stood still for a moment, smiling. The package contained something Sirius was immensely proud of - a first edition, leather-bound, brass-hinged, gold-edged copy of Hogwarts, A History - Remus' Christmas present. Sirius snuk over to his friend's bed, planning to slip the present onto the foot of Remus' bed, but when he drew back the velvet drapes, he found himself face to face with a very much awake Remus Lupin, and leapt back with a startled yell.

-----

Remus gave a canine yelp of surprise as somebody opened his curtains, and he dropped the envelope from his father as he skittered back. It was then that he realised exactly who this person was.

"Sirius!" he cried out, leaping forwards and throwing his arms around the older boy. "Y-you're alive! Oh, M-Merlin, I've b-been worrying all w-week about you!" He pulled away, shuffling over on his bed and patting the mattress next to him. "W-what happened? H-h-how did y-you get here? And, b-before I forget, H-Happy Christmas!" He beamed for the first time in a week, so happy that Sirius was alive and back at Hogwarts.

-----

Sirius laughed joyfully, and hopped into bed next to Remus. "Happy Christmas, Remus! And before **I** forget, here." He handed Remus the package, and grinned. "You didn't think I would forget, did you?"

-----

Remus' face lit up even more, if it was even possible. "Oh, th-thank you!" he cried, turning the heavy package over to find the Spell-o-taped joins in the bronze-coloured paper. Opening it in his own careful way, he could not suppress a gasp as the book fell into his lap. He picked it up with trembling hands, turning it over and over in his careful examination.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" he cried, hugging Sirius again in complete and utter gratitude. "I l-love it, b-but I can't t-take this, it must be w-w-worth hundreds of G-Galleons! I've n-never had anything this expensive in m-m-my life!"

-----

Sirius hugged Remus back tightly and chuckled. "Honestly Remus! It's a Christmas present. Look, if you try and give it back, I'll assume you hated it, and I'll be all offended, okay?" He sighed, and flopped his head down onto Remus shoulder, inwardly cheering over the way the previously shy boy now even initiated contact between them.

_I think that we've really made a difference to each others lives..._

_-----_

Remus clutched the book tightly, thumbing the golden hinges absentmindedly. "N-no, I love it! I h-haven't read this book in _y-years_, and it's just s-so b-b-beautiful." He placed it oh-so carefully on his bedside table, the front cover facing upwards, and turned back to Sirius. "D-did you get m-my owl?" he asked, both nervous and curious about Sirius's reaction to his gifts that now seemed inadequate compared to the one he had just received. "I d-don't know how long she'd t-t-take to reach you, I d-don't know your addresses, and sh-she had to fly to P-Peter's and James's, too."

-----

Sirius nodded and sat up, reaching into his robe pocket. "Yes she got there. I didn't have a chance to open it yet though... Well, okay, I opened the chocolate frogs... Erm, which I would share but... Well okay, I ate them. In approximately eleven seconds... Never mind. Anyway." He slowly opened the carefully wrapped birthday gift, and inhaled in surprise. It was a necklace pendant made of amber - and shaped like the moon. In Sirius' opinion, it was absolutely gorgeous. "Remus, I... This is... It's perfect. Absolutely perfect." He instantly strung it onto his existing necklace, and grinned, feeling it settle into the hollow between his collar bones.

"Thanks Remmy!" He chirped, and hugged the taller - but skinnier - boy tightly once more

-----

Remus beamed as Sirius strung the pendant onto the leather cord, allowing the yellow-orange resin to settle next to the silver star. Suddenly finding himself enveloped in a hug from Sirius, he had to suppress a gasp of pain as the older boy inadvertently brushed against his bite scar, still painful after all these years. He, too, wrapped his arms around Sirius in a second hug of silent gratitude, pulling away with his head spinning.

_'Hang about... did he just call me_ Remmy?' he thought. _'I've got a nickname?'_

He smiled at this thought, but continued to speak to Sirius. "D-did you just c-come back to give me my p-present, or did your p-p-parents let st-stay?" he asked, reaching out to pick up James's present and begin to meticulously peel it open.

-----

Sirius stiffened and sat up properly. "Oh. Well... I didn't like it there, Remus! They're constantly pushing me, training me, trying to mould be into the perfect heir... It's Christmas, for Merlin's sake! And... Regulusdoesn'twantmeanymore!" The last few words merged into a sort of choked sob, and Sirius flopped back against the pillows, and rubbing his eyes furiously with the heels of his hands.

-----

Remus paused in his work, looking up at Sirius. "But... isn't R-R-Regulus the one who g-gave you _that_?" he asked, pointing to the star around his neck. "Surely he must l-l-love y-you if he gave you th-that, it d-doesn't look cheap." He reached out tentatively, placing a comforting hand on Sirius's shoulder. "P-perhaps he just notices your ap-p-parent h-hatred of the place and is t-trying to help you get out."

-----

Sirius moved his hands away and looked up at Remus hopefully. "Do you really think so? I mostly doubt it... Regulus isn't that self-sacrificing... He's only little! My little brother... It would be nice to believe your theory though..." He sighed. "Ah well. Doesn't matter now. I'm not going back until the summer, anyway, no matter how much they beg, bribe or threaten."

-----

Y-you can't leave at Easter, anyway," Remus pointed out, returning to unwrapping James's present (which he could see was a Jumbo box of Chocolate Frogs - a very sweet Christmas all around, this). "You have t-t-to p-put up with me instead." Grinning, he opened the box absently, chucking a frog to Sirius and taking one for himself before putting the box next to his new book. He reached for Peter's parcel, beginning his meticulous opening again.

-----

Sirius cradled his chocolate frog in his hands and cooed to it softly as it croaked and tried to make a desperate bid for freedom. "Hey there, little froggy! What's your name then? I think I'll call you... Tulula. Because you are a bit warty, no offence. So that makes you Tulula the Toad. Yeah. Aren't you sweet?"

-----

"S-Sirius, it's a piece of enchanted ch-chocolate, it's n-n-not sentient," Remus grinned, placing the pack of Liquorice Wands from Peter next to his other gifts. "There! My Christmas p-presents all unwrapped and ac-c-ccounted f-for." He smiled, stretching, before leaning back onto his pillows next to Sirius.

The plain envelope from his father lay forgotten at the end of the bed, outshone by the three other presents Remus had received.

-----

The look on Sirius' face was priceless indeed. It was a grimace halfway between surprise, guilt and hurt. "Okay, firstly, don't say those sorts of things in front of Tulula, it'll hurt her feelings. Secondly - that was all your gifts? You... You don't have any from your parents, or... or relatives! Do you think they got put on someone else's bed - I'll go check." He stood, still frowning, and headed for James' empty bed.

-----

Remus sat up slowly, suddenly remembering the envelope from his father. But what was he supposed to say to Sirius? "Oh yeah, sorry, none of my extended family are aware of my existence, they thought I was killed in a tragic accident with my mother and a werewolf"? That would never end well. So he carefully reached out and picked up the envelope from his father, pretending that he had just noticed it.

"H-h-hang on, h-here's one from m-my p-p-parents..." he said, turning it over in his hands. "A-a-and I don't _h-have_ any o-o-other relatives. M-m-my f-father is an o-orphan and my m-m-mother has b-been d-d-disowned. It's j-just m-m-me and my p-p-parents."

-----

Sirius raised his eyebrows. _Remus... You aren't exactly the most convincing of liars. But... I'll let it go. For now. Because it's Christmas._

"Oh, well that's all good then. I was gonna say you could share mine! Which, to be honest, you'll probably end up doing anyway - I could never eat that many liquorice wands... Mainly because liquorice tastes like Niffler dung but there you are..." He trailed off, suddenly aware that he sounded very much like James, and fell silent. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he sat back down next to Remus.

"Well? Is it anything good? Doesn't really look like much..."

-----

Remus laughed. "I agree, L-Liquorice W-W-Wands aren't the m-m-most tasty of sweets in the world." Looking away from Sirius to the envelope in his hand, he ran his fingers around the bulge in it, sizing up the shape to try and guess what it was. If he was _right_...

He carefully opened the envelope, taking all his strength not to just shred it into little pieces - he needed some continuity in opening his presents carefully, after all - before tipping it upside down. Three silver Sickles fell out, bouncing and clinging together on the bedclothes. It was just his luck that Sirius was around. Remus could not pick them up without burning himself, after all.

He managed to force a small smile as he looked at the money, bearing in mind that it was the first present he had ever received from his father (even if it was meant to hurt him). "W-well, it's m-m-more than I n-normally get," he said, refusing to look at Sirius.

-----

Sirius felt terrible.

_Three Sickles?! That's __**it**__??_

He slowly reached out a picked up a Sickle, turning it over in his hands. "Let's play a game." He said finally, his voice quiet and serious, leaving no room for argument. "I'll flip this coin, and whoever calls it right gets the Christmas presents, okay?" He flipped the coin with his thumb, and watched it shoot up into the air, glinting coldly in the pale early morning sunlight.

-----

Remus finally looked up, seeing the Sickle twisting and shining in the air. And despite Sirius's serious voice (no pun intended), he did not call.

"N-no, Sirius," he said, equally as quietly. "It's f-f-fine. I us-sually only g-g-get one S-Sickle, we're n-n-not very r-rich, you s-see, and th-th-this year I g-got things from y-you and James and P-P-Peter. B-but th-th-thank you for the g-gesture."

And he stood up to hug the other boy, hoping to convey his utterly-truthful gratitude.

"Th-thank you."

-----

Sirius sighed, and tossed the Sickle back onto the bedspread, before hugging Remus tightly.

"I'm sorry."

_I'm not really sure what for..._

I just...

It isn't pity, what I feel, it isn't... I don't know.

It's just...

For some reason, it hurts.

Guilt.

That's what this is, burning red-hot and bitter in the pit of my stomach.

Guilt.

**Author's Note: **The next chapter, as promised!


	14. Burning Fireworks

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**Burning Fireworks**

It was New Years Eve.

It was five forty in the afternoon.

And Remus was in his dormitory preparing for the coming full moon, much to his annoyance.

Because of his curse, he was going to miss the feast, the fireworks, and his sleep. But worst of all, he was leaving his best friend on his own until the next morning. He had never felt so guilty about a transformation. Since he had been friends with Sirius, James and Peter, every transformation had never meant that one of them would be alone. However, James and Peter had gone home for the Christmas holidays.

Unfortunately, it could not be helped.

Putting his travelling cloak over his shoulders, he took a deep breath before wandering over to Sirius's bed.

"S-S-Sirius?" he began quietly, trying not to show his friend his guilty eyes. "I h-have to visit m-my m-m-mother tonight. I-I-I'm _really _s-sorry, I d-don't want to l-l-leave you alone, b-but I have t-to go..." He trailed off awkwardly, wringing his hands agitatedly. "I'm s-s-sorry, S-Sirius."

-----

Sirius blinked up at Remus for a couple of seconds before smiling reassuringly. "Don't worry about it, Remus! Your mothers sick! I mean, I'll still be here when you get back! I'll just, I dunno, go to bed early or something. C'mon, I'll walk you down to the doors."

-----

Remus gave an awkward, sad smile, wrapping his arms around himself as his chest began to ache. "Th-thank you," he said quietly, before turning and heading out of the dorm.

-----

Sirius half ran half skipped to keep up with Remus. For some reason, his friend was walking awfully quickly, with seemingly no effort at all...

They soon arrived at the doors, and Sirius stood awkwardly, wondering how best to tell Remus that he'd miss him - that he would be lonely, that he hoped Remus' mother would get better soon, just so that Sirius didn't have to share, anymore...

-----

Remus stood by the doors, looking at his feet awkwardly. "W-well," he said, gripping himself harder, "I h-h-hope you h-have some f-f-fun tonight. I'm s-sorry I can't be h-here, but I'm s-sure some G-Gryffindors will talk t-t-to you if you d-do. Everyone s-s-seems to like y-you." He smiled awkwardly. "I-I-I'm sorry a-again, Siri."

And after hugging the other boy briefly, he turned and strode out through the doors.

-----

Sirius stared after Remus as walked off, a bitter smile on his face. He stood there, for about half an hour, before he realised that someone was standing next to him. He looked round, inhaling sharply in surprise, and stepping backwards, his eyes widening at the sight of Albus Dumbledore. The Headmaster was standing there, hands behind his back, resplendent in shockingly purple robes. He didn't look at Sirius, merely stared straight ahead, out of the gap in the not-quite-closed doors, at the star-spangled sky. Sirius swallowed, and went back to staring aimlessly into the darkness.

They stood there for a few more minutes, before Sirius finally spoke. "Sir?"

Dumbledore looked round now, peering over the top of his half-moon spectacles, his eyes twinkling. "Yes, my boy?" He replied kindly.

"Why... Why do you let Remus leave? Why can't he stay here?" Dumbledore's wrinkled face crumpled into a sad smile.

"Do you really not know? Surely he told you? His mother is ill, Mr. Black. Dangerously so. Every time Mr. Lupin goes, it could be the very last. Surely you would not begrudge him that?"

Sirius went back to staring outside, looking determinedly away from Dumbledore. The Headmaster had just turned to leave, when Sirius finally spoke. "Sir?" He whispered. "Is... Is it so wrong of me, sir, to be this selfish?" He jumped when Dumbledore patted him reassuringly on the shoulder.

"Not at all, my boy. It's just natural. In fact, I'd say Mr. Lupin is blessed indeed to have such a close friend. It seems the Sorting Hat saw something that I did not when it placed the two of you there." Sirius was silent for a moment.

"I don't think it matters, Sir. What house we're in. We... We would have been friends anyway. I... It's impossible to imagine otherwise." Dumbledore just smiled, and walked away into the Great Hall, from which flickers of candlelight and delighted shouts of laughter were escaping.

Sirius stood silently for a moment, before he turned, and made his way into the deserted darkness of the school.

-----

Sirius leaned back against the damp stone wall of the Astronomy Tower with a sigh. He tipped his head back, and stared up at the night sky, years of Astronomy tutoring enabling him to instantly spot the star he was named after. Sirius, the Dog Star. He scowled, and his eyes scanned the heavens, stopping only when they found his little brother. Regulus.

_It's times like this, Reggie, when I'm all alone and cold and it's dark and I'm __**lonely**__ that I really..._

I really miss you!

And I wish... I wish I'd never come here. I wish I was still safe at home, with you. 

He let out a choked sob, and wiped his eyes with his robe sleeves. He slid slowly to the floor, and sat, resting his forehead on his knees. Slowly melting snow soaked into his robes, making him shiver.

_It's... It's too cold to feel._

He sat like that for hours, not moving, not even thinking, until a sudden shock of light and sound made him look up.

_What....?_

He stood up slowly, the green and yellow and pink and blue light of the fireworks flickering across his frozen face.

_Make a wish, Sirius..._

He turned, and with a swish of sodden black robes, stumbled down the staircase and headed for Gryffindor Tower, leaving behind only the fireworks spraying out over the midnight sky, electric shocks riddled with the echoing howls of a wolf.

-----

Remus awoke with a yowl of agony, not even bothering to open his eyes. Last night had been hell; the fireworks had frightened the wolf to such an extent that the barely-aware Remus was worried that he would die. He had passed out the moment he had transformed back into a human, and could not recall being taken back to the school.

He wished he had not woken up, for he could not stop screaming. He could hear Madam Pomfrey trying to comfort him as she worked rapidly, and was even conscious of Professor McGonagall running into the room, but nothing seemed to work. From what he could hear over his screams, he had broken his leg badly enough for the bone to pierce through the skin, fractured his arm to almost the same degree, and was bleeding heavily from a deep wound in his abdomen.

He finally noticed that he was screaming words, not just sounds. "Sirius! Where's Sirius? I need to apologise! SIRIUS!!"

It was about then that someone forced a burning liquid down his throat, and everything went black instantaneously.

-----

Sirius burst into the Hospital Wing with all the force and chaos of hurricane. He hurtled over to Madam Pomfrey, and managed to choke out the word 'Remus!' before doubling up, panting.

"My goodness!" cried the startled nurse. "Did you run all the way here?!"

Sirius nodded, still panting. "From... Gryffindor..." The nurse tutted, and tried to hand him a glass of water.

"Well there really was no need, he's still unconscious! Which means you'll have to go back to the Tower and wait! Didn't Professor McGonagall tell you we'd fetch you when he woke up?!" Sirius snarled and batted away the glass of water.

"Just tell me where Remus is! Now!" The nurse huffed angrily, but before she'd had a chance to make an annoyed retort, Sirius spotted Remus distinctive sandy hair, and bolted over to his friend's bedside.

Remus looked terrible. He really did. Sirius flicked a stray piece of hair off Remus' face, and plonked himself down on a chair to wait.

-----

"Sirius!"

Remus snapped open his eyes abruptly, trying to sit up as he did so. The sudden stab of pain was too much, however, and he just whimpered, clenching his fists and closing his eyes again. He felt _terrible_; he could feel the bandages wrapped around almost every inch of his body. His mind was clouded with potions, he was barely keeping conscious, and he assumed that he had been given some sort of painkilling potion. From the amount of bandages he could feel, the pain was hardly enough.

Suddenly thinking of Sirius again, he tried to speak to anyone nearby, but ended up coughing agonisingly and uncontrollably for a minute or so. When he finally quietened, he realised that speaking would be difficult, if not impossible. Taking a short, sharp breath, he managed to whisper Sirius's name, asking someone, _anyone_, to find him.

"I need to apologise," he croaked, before collapsing into coughing again.

-----

Sirius leapt up at Remus' whimpers of pain, and stared, aghast as the other boy started calling for him. "Hey! Hey, Remus, I'm here! I'm right here! Remmy, it's me! It's Sirius, I... I'm right here, Remus!"

Instead of hugging the injured boy - considering it would probably do more harm than good - Sirius settled for holding on to one un-bandaged hand.

-----

Remus eventually stopped coughing and fluttered open his eyes, his golden gaze alighting on the other boy. "Sirius," he murmured, seeing their joined hands and suddenly able to feel it, too. Suddenly feeling loved, he squeezed the other boy's hand, closing his eyes again and choking out a sob.

"I-I-I'm sorry, Sirius!" he wailed, clutching his hand as though it was the only thing tethering him to the world. "I d-d-didn't want t-to leave you, y-y-you know that, r-r-right? P-p-please f-forgive me!"

-----

Bewildered, Sirius nodded. "Of course I do, Remus! You're... You're my friend! You're loyal, and you're kind, and I know you'd never abandon me - unless it was for some other, greater good. You can't help it that your mother's sick. And I know that it's important for you to be there for her. So I have no right to be selfish, or hold a grudge. I'm not the kind of person that would resent you being there for the people that you love!"

-----

Remus tried to smile, but the movement hurt his cheeks. He just wished that he did not feel so guilty about blaming his absences on the mother that he no longer had. "Th-th-thank you," he said, finally relaxing into the soft bed. As his tears stopped falling, he blinked his eyes open again. Locking gazes with Sirius, he squeezed his hand gently. "Wh-wh-what happened t-to me?" he breathed, needing to know his cover story.

-----

Sirius shrugged. "How should I know?! First I heard was McGonagall telling some third year to go and get me from the Dorm because you were injured and um... Calling for me. So I just legged it and came. Are you really badly hurt Remus? I mean, obviously you are, but... You are going to be okay, right?"

-----

Remus sighed, finally looking away from his friend to glance at himself. Although many of the bandages he could feel were hidden by a pair of plain school pyjamas (although supplied by the Hospital Wing, they were nicer than his own), he could see copious amounts of damage. His right leg was bound tightly with bandages, slightly stained from the blood that was seeping through from about half-way up his shin, and was elevated about a foot off the bed by a strange loop that hung from a metal frame beside his bed. His right arm was resting in a sling, wrapped thickly enough that his thin fingers looked like worms emerging from snow. And although he could not see it, the heavy weight of the dressing over his stomach was haunting him like a ghoul. Fingers were held in splints, sticking plasters were dotted all over him, and he could feel a dressing fixed to a gash above his left eye.

Unfortunately, he found himself unable to answer Sirius's question.

He glanced up as Madam Pomfrey appeared at his bedside, an anxious look on her face. "How are you feeling, Remus?" she asked softly, leaning over to press her hand lightly to his forehead.

He had to think about that for a moment. "I d-d-don't really know," he stammered. "I c-c-can't really _f-feel_ anything, b-b-but I can't th-think straight."

"That's just the painkiller, Remus," she assured, taking her hand away. "At least they're working. I worried that they wouldn't be strong enough." She fell silent for a moment, her concerned gaze searching. "You were hit by a car, Remus," she said softly, finally answering his earlier question. "You were crossing the road from the hospital to get to the train station, and it knocked you down. Driving with no lights on, honestly! You're just lucky one of the Healers was leaving from her shift and saw you in the road - any longer without treatment and you would have died from blood loss." The look in her eyes at this last phrase told Remus that this was true, and he gripped Sirius's hand tightly in a moment of sudden fear. "Your mother insisted that the Healers returned you here when they told her. It seems her short moment of lucidity made her recall conversations about your friends, and she ordered that they brought you here so that they could help with your recovery."

Remus sank his head back into the pillows in silent despair. "W-will I be O-O-OK?" he asked quietly, hoping for a professional answer to Sirius's question.

Madam Pomfrey finally smiled. "Of course, Remus, there's nothing to worry about," she assured, rubbing his uninjured shoulder softly. "You'll be here for another day or so, but you'll make a full recovery." At Remus' answering half-smile, she left the two friends alone to talk.

Remus said nothing for a long time, just thinking. He had not known that fireworks frightened the wolf, for they had never been something that It had had to endure before and he hoped that It would never have to endure them again, for his own sake. He could not recall ever being so badly mauled by It; even the first moon had been kinder than this.

Finally snapping out of his reverie, he turned to Sirius again. "S-so, how was the f-feast?" he asked, his stutter already lessening as he slid back into normal conversation with his friend.

-----

Sirius blinked rapidly, his eyes wide and shining. "The FEAST?!" He croaked, his voice catching. "Who CARES about the FEAST?! You... You almost DIED! How could... How could this HAPPEN?!"

_How could I let this happen?!_

He laid his head down on the blue hospital sheet next to Remus, and draped his arm over an un-bandaged patch of torso in semblance of a hug. "I'm sorry, Remus. I..."

_I should have done something!_

Anything.

"You shouldn't go there anymore, Remmy. It's not safe."

_If you're there, I can't protect you._

"Or... Or I should come with you, just to... Just to keep you from being hurt! Your mother wouldn't want this, would she? She wouldn't want you sacrificing yourself just for a visit!"

_I cannot lose you, Remus._

"And I didn't GO to the feast. Why would I go to the FEAST when my friend is visiting his dying mother?!"

_I just can't._

_-----_

Remus could not stop himself from crying as Sirius spoke to him, and he painfully moved his unbroken arm to take one of his hands again. "D-d-don't worry about m-me, Siri," he said quietly, nothing but sincerity in his voice. "I-I-I'm just c-clumsy, that's all. I'm s-s-sure th-that my mother will ask f-f-for one of the H-Healers to escort me, n-now, s-s-so I sh-should be safe."

_'I'm sorry, Siri. I don't_ want _to lie to you, but I have no choice. If you knew what I was...'_

He gripped the other boy's hand tightly, closing his eyes to try and stop his tears. "Y-you shouldn't st-st-stop having fun b-because I'm not there. I-i-it'll be easier wh-when James and P-P-Peter are back, y-you'll have someone with you, b-b-but d-don't stop being you. I c-c-couldn't _stand_ it if I kn-kn-knew th-that you kept worrying about m-me whenever I'm away." He took a deep, shuddering breath, hoping that more oxygen would help him speak. It did not. "P-p-please, f-for me, just b-be happy when I'm a-a-away. _P-please_, Siri."

-----

Sirius snorted and closed his eyes, tightening his hold ever so slightly. "Don't be stupid, Remus. As if I could-"

_As if I could be happy with you anywhere else but here with me._

"Look. I'm never going to be happy about it. But don't stress yourself too much, Remus. It's not your fault. It's the way I am. Really."

-----

Remus gave a half-hearted smile. "Just d-don't be afraid, Sirius. _N-n-never_ be scared ab-b-bout me. Everything w-will turn out O-OK eventually, I p-p-promise."

_'I can look after myself. As long as you're my friend, I can look after myself.'_


	15. Back to School

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**Back to School**

It was Monday the third of January, eight fifty-two AM precisely, and Remus was standing outside his Transfiguration classroom with his three best friends. The school term had begun - too quickly, it seemed - and lessons would start in eight minutes. James and Peter had arrived back on the Hogwarts Express yesterday evening and had demanded an explanation when they saw Remus limping around the dormitory on wooden crutches, his leg in what Madam Pomfrey had called 'plaster'; she could normally fix such things as broken bones, but serious wounds inflicted by the wolf seemed to be immune to her potions. Unfortunately, because of his also-plastered right arm, he could only use one crutch, which seemed to be just as useless as walking normally. So one of his friends had to double as his other crutch whenever he walked anywhere, grasping him around his waist -gently, of course, he was injured there as well - and taking his weight for him. As much as the all insisted that they did not mind - it was not his fault that he had been knocked down, after all - Remus felt continually guilty about relying on them so much.

Still, the joviality had not fallen from their relationship. Sirius and James had returned to their joking ways, and Remus could not be happier. Peter had already suggested pulling another prank, and Sirius and James had knuckled down to think of ideas. He could tell that lessons would be spent planning, much to his insistence otherwise. He just could not bring himself to stop the laughter, no matter the possible consequences.

He knew that this term would be better than the last.

-----

Sirius flopped back against the wall and made an irritated noise. "Where the hell is that old hag McGonagall?! I'm so BORED I could cry." James snorted and mumbled,

"Well so long as she's not behind you, does it really matter?!" Sirius stared at the bespectacled boy venomously.

"How the hell could she be BEHIND me, moron?! I'm leaning on a WALL!" James snickered.

"You'd be surprised..." Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"If that was supposed to be funny, then you're losing your touch, James!" He sighed. "C'mon, you got any dungbombs on you? We need a laugh..." James grinned and laughed evilly.

"Now THAT'S more like it!" He was just rummaging through his bag for the dungbombs when McGonagall - as though sensing trouble - swept up the corridor, and stared at them suspiciously.

"You're here early, boys... Well, never mind. Go inside and take your seats."

Sirius glared after her. "I swear, that woman... It's like she KNOWS..."

-----

Remus could not help but suppress a snigger, avoiding his Head of House's gaze as he dragged himself over to Sirius. "C-come on, Crutch, I n-n-need to get into the c-classroom," he said, his eyes sparkling as he adjusted his wooden crutch under his arm. "You w-wouldn't want to abandon _m-me_ to missing my c-classes, would you?" He did not suppress his laughter this time, letting it bubble freely out of him. Peter looked at him as though he was insane before walking into the classroom, perhaps slightly miffed that Sirius was the first person he turned to for help and he was not. He would just have to learn to live with it. Sirius was his first friend, after all. It was only fair that he was also his _best_ friend.

-----

Sirius grinned. "That's all I am to you? A Crutch? I'm hurt, Remus!" He placed on hand over his heart, and gasped dramatically. "Fatally wounded, I tell you." McGonagall reappeared and glared at him acidly.

"Mr. Black, I said come inside and sit down! I will not tolerate any LOITERING." She disappeared again and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Loitering. Where DOES she come up with these things?!" Then, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, he slung an arm around Remus' waist, and helped him into the classroom.

-----

"I d-don't know, Siri," Remus said dryly, leaning on his friend. "Perhaps its b-because you do actually l-loiter." He laughed again, hopping awkwardly over to his desk and slowly sitting down. Rubbing the wound on his waist lightly, he winced. "Hmm, I m-might need some more p-p-painkillers at break. All this h-hopping is getting to m-me." Then, as if nothing was wrong, he smiled at Sirius. "Th-thank you," he smiled, before reaching for his bag and removing everything he needed.

A few minutes passed before the group of Ravenclaws filed in, stopping in their tracks as they caught sight of the injured boy on the back row. None of the school had seen him yet, for despite Madam Pomfrey's assurance that he would be out on Sunday morning, he did not leave until Sunday evening. And then the house elves had given him breakfast in bed, ordered by Professor Dumbledore himself so that he did not have to make his way down to the Great Hall. So it was not really surprising that the girls began to whisper to each other, nor that the boys automatically assumed that he had been beaten to a pulp by some angry Slytherins. Even the Gryffindor girls who showed up a few moments later were surprised to see him, and Remus could practically hear the rumours beginning to spread.

Once, it would have bothered him. Now, he would ignore it.

Now, he _could_ ignore it.

-----

Sirius stabbed angrily at the frog he was supposed to be transfiguring. "This is stupid." He muttered under his breath. He turned to Remus, widening his eyes - trying to look pleading and adorable. "Reeeeeeeeeeeeeemus! I can't do it! She looks like Tulula! Poor, melted Tulula! Drowned in her own chocolatey goodness - in the PRIME of her life!"

-----

Remus gave an exasperated sigh, waving his reddish wand and muttering the incantation. Almost immediately, his frog gave a croak before Transfiguring into a teacup. "Sirius, c-can you _stop_ with T-Tulula. It was a Ch-Chocolate Frog, n-n-nothing more."

With another wave of his wand and another word spoken, his teacup became a frog again.

"And I d-don't wonder that you c-can't do it - this is a S-Second Year spell. W-we shouldn't be T-T-Transfiguring animals th-this early in the y-year, they're t-too complex. After all, it took _m-me_ a few tries t-t-to get it right. I w-wonder what the Professor is trying t-to show us..."

-----

Sirius, upon hearing this stopped frowning (not pouting - _frowning_,) looked around the classroom interestedly. Other than Remus, no one had successfully completed the spell - though James' toad was decorated with a lovely rosebud pattern. Determined to prove himself, Sirius focused, waved his wand - and the toad transfigured perfectly into a teacup. "Yeah!" He cheered. "Now THAT is how it's done!"

-----

Remus smiled at Sirius. "I w-would clap, but I can't. It w-w-would be a bit d-difficult." His smile broadened. "And c-congratulations; you have n-now got over T-T-Tulula!" He idly waved his wand again, creating a matching teacup to Sirius's.

"Now, i-i-is it _just_ m-me who's bored?

-----

Sirius sat silently for a second, before turning away from Remus, and sniffing loudly. James looked over, frowning. "You alright there Sirius? I know it's hard but bloody hell... Don't cry about it!" Sirius whirled back round, arm draped theatrically over his forehead.

"But James, my good chum, how can I not?! Remus, cruel, cruel Remus - is DENYING MY LOVE FOR MY DEAREST, DARLING TULULA! He refuses to accept that her untimely demise has forever BROKEN MY HEART! I shall never be happy again, never, I tell you!"

-----

Remus felt like placing his head in his hands, but one of them could not move and the other was holding his wand. Sirius and that _Merlin-forsaken_ Chocolate Frog...

And then he got an idea.

With a sneaky wave of his wand and a murmured incantation, he cast a Cheering Charm on Sirius. Yes, he _knew_ that he was only joking, but he _was_ intrigued as to exactly how Sirius would react. Remus was just curious that way.

He quickly placed his wand down on the table before taking out one of his textbooks, flicking through it lazily. "Fine th-then," he said, mock-affronted. "If you c-c-care more about a Ch-Chocolate Frog than _me_, I j-j-just won't t-talk to you."

But then he smiled, just to show that he did not mean a word.

-----

It wasn't Remus' fault.

Not really.

After all, how could he have known?

After Sirius' long, dark, suppressed childhood, the sudden electric burst of the cheering charm was like the first ray of sunlight on the eyes of someone who has lived forever underground - painfully beautiful.

Sirius jumped, and his hands flew instantly to his head, where they entangled themselves in his hair, pulling to the point where it was physically painful. It was then that he started to laugh. High pitched giggled that grew in volume until they were near hysterical gasps of violent laughter. McGonagall stormed over, glaring at Sirius who was practically falling off his chair, his eyes streaming with tears as he laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

"Mr. Black! Control yourself! Immediately!" He ignored her. McGonagall looked around wildly, spotting Remus sitting there innocently. "Mr. Lupin! What on earth is the matter with him?!"

-----

Remus was watching Sirius in a mix of amusement and concern, and only looked up as Professor McGonagall spoke, his eyes wide. "I-I-I'm not quite sure, P-Professor," he said honestly, glancing back at his friend. "I w-would suggest that he's h-h-happy that he m-managed to Transfigure his fr-frog, but even _h-he_ wouldn't f-find that much j-j-joy from that."

He stretched out his unbroken leg, poking Sirius softly. If there was any reaction, it did not show. "P-p-perhaps s-someone hexed him?" he suggested, looking back up at McGonagall. "Fr-from what I've read, it s-seems a little bit l-l-like a Cheering Ch-Charm, but th-they're a bit advanced and sh-shouldn't be so p-p-powerful... I d-don't know." He shrugged. "I-I'm sorry, P-P-Professor. I j-just don't know what's wr-wrong with him. C-can you help him? H-he's beginning to w-worry me, now.

-----

McGonagall pursed her lips and nodded. "Well, unfortunately, Cheering Charms wear out naturally - there is no known antidote..." She sighed as Sirius finally did fall off his chair, howling with laughter, though his breath was now alarmingly shallow. James swallowed nervously.

"Erm... Professor... People can't... They can't DIE from Cheering Charms can they?!" McGonagall looked worried.

"No..." She didn't sound too sure. "Well, it can't be helped. He needs to go to the Hospital Wing, immediately. I'm afraid I'm going to have to stun him - just to put him in stasis before we can figure out what to do next. Stupefy!"

Sirius eye's rolled back into his head, and he collapsed onto the floor, a stupid grin still plastered across his face. James let out a squeak of protest, but was silent after McGonagall shot him a glare. "Class dismissed!" She snapped. "Locomotor Corpus!"

She was halfway out of the door, Sirius floating face down in front of her, when she turned back to the two boys. "Come along, then! We haven't got all day!"

James was out of the classroom in a flash, grinning. "Awesome! Sirius gets a free high, and we get to skip class!"

-----

Remus groaned as he managed to stand up, his abdomen aching with the effort of moving again. Quickly sweeping his things back into his satchel, he gratefully accepted Peter's arm around him so that he could move. "Th-thanks, Peter," he smiled, trying not to lean on the smaller boy too much. Remus might have been _much_ slighter, but he knew that Peter was not the strongest boy in the world. He did not want to cause him trouble, after all.

"No problem, Remus," Peter replied, walking slowly from the classroom with the remaining students' eyes on them both.

The two friends hobbled out of the classroom and followed the fading forms of Professor McGonagall, James and Sirius to the Hospital Wing - for once, not for Remus' sake. Though, he supposed, it would not hurt to pick up a few extra painkillers while he was there.

-----

McGonagall had no sooner allowed Sirius to drop gently onto a bed, when Madam Pomfrey burst out of her office, armed with bottles, and brandishing her wand. "Out of my way! What happened?! Was it a hex? A Potion? Did he eat anything, touch anything? Curious - looks almost as though he was stunned," She announced, looking under one of Sirius' eyelids. McGonagall rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Yes, Poppy. That's because he was stunned - by me - and for good reason! He seems to have been afflicted with an exceptionally strong Cheering Charm, or some form of insanity curse. He just started laughing in the middle of my class, rolling around on the floor! I'm having his books checked for any Dark Magic." Pomfrey nodded.

"I see. Well, Minerva, I've only ever experienced one Cheering Charm overdose, as it were - and that was due to the child's upbringing. Sometimes... Sometimes where a child has had a particularly oppressive upbringing, their minds are not accustomed to the particular emotions triggered by the spell, and it sends them into a mental overload. Since then, I have prepared an antidote - a blend of Sobering Potion and Dreamless Sleep. He'll have a dreadful headache when he wakes up, but otherwise, be none the worse for wear. Minerva, if you Enervate him, I'll administer the potion..."

McGonagall agreed, and cast the counter-charm. Sirius's eyes snapped open, but before his giggles had a chance to become hysterical, Madam Pomfrey forced the potion down his throat. He coughed and spluttered, but she massaged his throat until he swallowed. After a couple of moments, his spasms of movement faded, and he flopped down onto the bed, his eyes drifting shut. "Tu-lu-la...." He mumbled, before he fell fast asleep, his snuffly breathing just verging on the edge of a snore...

-----

Remus and Peter eventually staggered into the Hospital Wing, James following close behind (and, typically, bothering to offer neither Peter nor Remus any help). Remus managed to limp his way over to Sirius's bed and collapse in the chair next to it, the wound over his stomach aching. Peter untangled his arm from around the taller boy just as James appeared next to Professor McGonagall, his eyes showing concern. It was, rather surprisingly, Peter who spoke first.

"Will he be okay, Madam Pomfrey?" he asked breathlessly, his face slightly pink from the effort of helping his friend around the school.

"Of course he will be, Mister Pettigrew," she replied, appearing affronted. "If I can bring Mister Lupin here back from the dead, I think I can handle a Cheering Charm overdose."

"O-on the topic, Madam P-Pomfrey," Remus interrupted, lightly massaging his gash, "c-can I have another P-P-Painkilling Potion, please? All this l-limping is g-getting to me."

Madam Pomfrey smiled softly before summoning a few vials of the orangey-coloured potion, handing them to Remus. "Don't use them _too_ much, dear," she gently reminded him, before quickly taking Sirius's temperature. "They're quite complex to brew."

Remus gave an answering smile before downing half a vial, placing what remained in his back as he turned his attention to Sirius again. "Wh-when will he wake up, r-roughly?" he asked.

"Not until tomorrow morning, I should think, so there's no need to hang around here all day and night," Professor McGonagall said sternly, glancing pointedly at the three Gryffindors. "Now, I suggest you leave both Madam Pomfrey and Mister Black in peace. Mister Potter, if _you_ would kindly assist Mister Lupin this trip, for Mister Pettigrew looks like he's about to keel over." And with that, she strode from the room in order to follow her own advice.

Before the trio left, however, Remus felt it his duty to try and help Sirius as he had done only a few days ago. Quickly taking his hand, he leaned down to his ear and whispered, "W-w-wake up soon, Siri. Everything w-will be fine."

And then James wound his arm around his waist, and the three awake boys left the room.

-----

Sirius stirred, his eyelids flickering.

_What..._

__

What happened?

_...Am I dead? _

He frowned, rubbing his forehead dazedly. He could remember being in Transfiguration - _yeah, definitely Transfiguration,_ and a horrid, rasping chorus of toads. And then...

_Then I died._

__

I...

I've never felt that happy. In all my life, never have I felt like...

Like I was invincible.

Like I was important.

Like I was loved, cared for.

It felt like heaven...

_But where am I now?!_

There was only one thing for it. Bravely, Sirius opened one eye, and stared up at the chipped Hospital Wing ceiling. He recognised it instantly, from the time he'd come to visit Remus.

_Not __**quite**__ dead then..._

_But probably almost, to end up here._

He had a faint memory of someone stunning him, but... Well, that wouldn't really mean he was knocked out for hours. A simple Enervate, and a Headache Potion would have been fine!

Sirius sat up slowly, propping himself up on his pillows. He was just about to get up, and find out what the hell was going on, when the door to the Hospital Wing creaked open. For someone reason unknown to Sirius - maybe because of the teacher's hurried, whispering voices; or maybe because of the way their echoing footsteps sounded like they were running - he dived back under his duvet, his head resting on his pillow, eyes shut feigning sleep.

He listened as the members of staff hurried over to the bed opposite him, and frowned slightly as he heard someone being placed on the bed, and the _clack clack clack_ of the curtains being drawn. Then, a voice. "What happened to him, Minerva?!"

_That's Pomfrey. But who's Minerva?_ He almost fell out of bed when the usually strict voice of Professor McGonagall replied.

"I have no idea, Poppy. Albus was doing the rounds, and he came across the poor girl, just lying outside the girls bathroom on the second floor. For a moment... For a moment I thought the Chamber... But she's not dead, and she's not Petrified, so..."

There was a moment of silence, and the sound of someone sniffing. Then Pomfrey's voice, soothing but laced with uncertainty. "There there, Minerva. It can't be the Chamber. Albus would have done something by now! Didn't he say there was nothing to worry about?"

Another sniff. "I apologise, Poppy. I don't know what came over me. That... That was the only time at Hogwarts where I didn't feel safe. Anyhow, it is of no importance. What are her symptoms?"

The sounds of a bottle clinking, and rustling paper.

"Severe blood loss. But there's not a scratch on her! Not a mark, no magical traces-"

"So she can't have been healed?"

"No, there's no way to heal someone and not leave a trace... At least, none that's been published, or legalised."

"So it's a wizard. A highly skilled and probably Dark Wizard, who has somehow gained access to the school, and is attacking students but leaving no visible marks."

"You don't think the Baron...?"

"No, he would never do something like this. Never. The same goes for the students. They aren't skilled enough not to leave massive amounts of magical residue - and how would the even hear of such a spell if it's not been made public?"

"Maybe one of the Darker families? Like-"

"...Like?"

There was a pause, in which Sirius could almost feel their stares boring into his sleeping form. He forced himself to let out a sleepy sigh, and tighten his hold on his pillow.

"No."

McGonagall's voice.

"No, Poppy. I will not even consider it. One of the older Slytherin's, perhaps. But not Sirius. He's a Gryffindor and... If you'd ever seen him, Poppy. With his friends... He's not like the other Black's."

Pomfrey evidently nodded, or something, because McGonagall continued. "I shall suggest to Albus that the sixth and seventh years' wands be checked. He won't agree, mind you. Anyone clever enough to pull off this sort of magic will have cast a Lumos, or an incantation that can be easily explained in the meantime."

"Maybe he can strengthen the wards or something?"

"Maybe."

A sigh, and then Pomfrey's voice -

"Well, I've given her a hefty dose of Blood Replenishing potion, and that's all I can do, I'm afraid. I'll sit up in the office, in case she wake up."

"Alright. Thank you, Poppy. I don't know what this school would do without you!"

A slight laugh.

"Indeed, Minerva. Well, get yourself back to bed - classes start in six hours!"

"Oh, don't remind me! Goodnight, Poppy."

"Goodnight, Minerva."

Footsteps, and the sound of the Hospital Wing door creaking shut, and Madam Pomfrey collecting up bottles. Eventually, the matron bustled away into her office, and Sirius' eyes snapped open, his face pale and shocked.

The night had never seemed quite to frightfully dark, nor the moonlight to grey. Sirius swallowed.

_What the hell is going on in this place?!_

He lay awake, his heart beating rapidly, until about five in the morning, when he finally drifted off to sleep.

-----

Remus and James stumbled into the Hospital Wing at six thirty that morning, Peter following close behind them. Completely ignoring the curtains around the other occupied bed, they went straight to Sirius's bedside and gathered around his bed, Peter and James allowing Remus to take the only chair. The trio stared anxiously at their friend's sleeping form in a rare silence, their faces set in worried grimaces made all the more prominent by the dark shadows under Remus's amber eyes. It was obvious that none of them had slept well that night - Remus perhaps not at all - and they were itching to talk to Sirius, but none of them could bring themselves to wake him.

After a few minutes of silence, Madam Pomfrey bustled out of her office yawning widely, suddenly stopping in her tracks as she caught sight of the group around Sirius's bed. "What _are_ you boys doing here?" she whispered, her face trying to show anger but failing; who could be angry at anxious friends, after all?

"W-we only wanted to see how S-S-Sirius is doing, Madam P-Pomfrey," Remus replied equally as quietly, only taking his gaze from Sirius for the briefest of moments. It was, after all, his fault that Sirius was here in the first place - he had explained everything in a tearful surge of guilt the night before to James and Peter, who thought none the worse of him.

He had only been trying to help him, and they both knew that.

Madam Pomfrey gave Remus a small smile, not that he saw it. "I'm confident that he'll make a full recovery," she said quietly. "Just ensure you keep enough time for breakfast. You still have to go to lessons - no 'buts', Mister Potter!" James's retort was stopped before it could even begin when Madam Pomfrey turned away from them, wandering over to the hidden bed and disappearing behind the curtains.

Yet again, not one of the trio noticed.

-----

Sirius could hear peope talking. He scowled, and blinked, vaguely registering his friends worried faces before he scrunched his eyes shut again, and tried desperately to be asleep.

Madam Pomfrey walked past again, heading for her office. "Now, boys! He won't wake up for a while yet - I gave him enough Dreamless Sleep to knock him out until at least midday, so you may as well get along to class-"

Sirius sat bolt upright in bed. "DREAMLESS SLEEP?!" He barked. "Why would you give me SLEEPING POTION?! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME!" He leapt out of bed, flinching as his bare feet met the cold stone floor.

-----

James and Peter leapt backwards as Sirius jumped out of bed, both letting out yells of shock as they did so. Remus - unable to leap backwards - merely yelled. When Remus realised that Sirius was finally awake, he could not stop the beam that broke over his face.

"Sirius!" he cried out, trying (and failing) to get to his feet and give his best friend a hug. "Siri, d-don't worry! Everything's f-f-fine, you g-got hexed in T-Transfiguration, we think it w-was a Cheering Charm, b-but you went a b-bit nuts. Madam P-Pomfrey gave you a p-potion to help you, and it s-s-sent you to sleep." He paused for a moment. "You _do_ f-feel OK, d-don't you?" he asked, making sure that he had not been jumping to incorrect conclusions, his still-open and expectant arms falling slightly.

-----

Sirius hugged Remus tightly, and tried to nod at the same time - and ended up headbutting Remus in the collarbone. "Sorry!" He pulled back and grinned sheepishly. "I'm fine - never better really!" Madam Pomfrey smiled slightly, and handed him a headache potion before heading to her office.

The second her door closed, Sirius face paled, and he flopped back against his pillow, his hands shaking. He closed his eyes and let out a long, uneven breath. "Guys," He mumbled, swigging his potion clumsily. "Have you ever heard of a spell that can heal people without leaving a magical trace? Because I never did. Ever. And I've heard of a lot of illegal spells."

-----

Remus shared a glance with James, his hazel eyes showing the confusion that Remus felt. "N-no," he said slowly, turning back to Sirius as he absentmindedly rubbed his collarbone. "It's impossible, t-trust me."

And even though Remus could not tell them _why_ he knew that it was impossible, he hoped that they would, indeed, trust him. Peter often turned to him for homework help, after all, and even James had asked for his help on occasion. He was purported to be the most well-read of them all, so he hoped that this reason alone would be a valid excuse for knowing.

"Why d-do you ask?" he asked, his voice dropping as Sirius's nervousness appeared to heighten.

-----

Sirius licked his lips nervously and shrugged. "Oh, it's nothing really. Just... Last night, I woke up. I don't know who Pomfrey thinks she's kidding with that Dreamless Sleep, because I was definitely awake. But they weren't expecting me to be so... So I heard ever word they said."

"Every word WHO said?!" James was growing impatient.

Sirius glared at him. "McGonagall and Pomfrey, idiot. Look at that bed. Over there. There's a girl in it. She was attacked, and left for dead near the second floor toilets. Something about severe Blood Loss, only there wasn't a scratch on her. They're thinking it's a spell of some kind. Only, I never heard of one that could DO that! And evidently, neither have you."

-----

Remus was ever so tempted to just walk over and see this girl and see what was happening, not that he was able to. He supposed that it was a good thing that he was stuck over here, but common sense often struggled to contain curiosity. Deciding that it would be best to quiz Sirius, he had hardly opened his mouth before Peter darted to the other side of the room, glancing cautiously at Madam Pomfrey's office in case she should emerge. When if appeared that she would not, he carefully pulled back the curtains.

The very second that the bed was exposed, Remus almost choked on the stench that wafted across. Sickly sweet but horribly bitter, it was almost like rotting flesh mixed with decaying wood. Whatever this magic was, it was different to the Dark magic that everyone was used to, and Remus could not help feeling slightly scared.

But it smelt so... _familiar_...

-----

Sirius propped his head up on his knees, and frowned. "Madam Pomfrey and McGonagall thought it was a student," he mumbled eventually. "I... They thought... A Slytherin, or... Or someone from a Dark Family. Like me."

James was on his feet immediately. "That's RUBBISH! You would NEVER hurt someone, just because your a BLACK, thats such BULLSHIT-" Sirius laughed, cutting him off.

"That's what McGonagall said, actually." James frowned, incredulous.

"McGonagall said bullshit?! Woah..." Sirius grinned.

"Not quite, James. But the thing is... I... I don't see how a student could have done this! And besides, a Slytherin's not that stupid. It's an obviously Dark, complicated spell - that means it has to be a Dark pureblood. And where are you going to find one of those that isn't in Slytherin? It's too obvious..."

There was a moment of silence, before James spoke up. "But Sirius, if it's not a Dark creature, and it's not a Slytherin... Who else is there in this school that can't be trusted?"

-----

Remus had not been paying the conversation any attention at all, being entirely focused on analysing the uncomfortably-present smell. He just _knew_ that he had smelt it before, somewhere around the school. Perhaps a Slytherin?

No. Too distinctive. He would remember a student with that smell, he was _sure_ of it...

And then it hit him. It was not a _student_, but a _teacher_.

"Highgate!" he suddenly blurted out, his eyes lighting up as he realised.

Then, of course, he recalled that he had to explain his idea to his friends, and that his friends _could not_ know that he had _smelt_ him.

Thankfully, a ready-made excuse appeared in his head.

"Who b-better? He knows th D-D-Dark Arts, he _m-must_ do if he t-teaches how to c-c-counteract them, so i-if anyone in the school is l-likely to know a unknown D-Dark spell, surely it would b-be him?"

-----

Sirius' eyes lit up, and he grinned at Remus. "You're a genius! That's it! Highgate! Right, so what do we know about him?"

James cleared his throat, and brandishing a quill, began to recite what they knew. "Okay, well his name is... Cain Highgate, and he used to work as a cursebreaker in Romania. But there was an accident of some kind, as far as anyone knows, so he had to retire, and ended up here. That's all according to the Hogwarts rumour mill, anyway, so we might want to check some records - maybe theres a list of like, people that have travelled? Or maybe St. Mungos records? I know they're normally confidential though... Dyou know anyone who's a Healer and could get us access? Say its for 'School Project' or something. Because maybe that's the answer! We find out what happened to him, and we find out why he's here, and what he's doing-"

"And most importantly," Sirius interupted, "we find out how to stop it."

_Because no matter what McGonagall says, if these attacks become more frequent..._

It's going to be me that everyone suspects.


	16. Of Rose Petals and Pumpkin Juice

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**Of Rose Petals and Pumpkin Juice**

Sirius was not impressed. "That's the eleventh one this week!" He complained, glaring at the innocent looking gold envelope that was lying on his plate. James sniggered.

"At least its not PINK this time..." Sirius turned his death glare on James, and practically growled,

"Not. Funny. Potter." James raised his eyebrows and went back to reading a ketchup-splattered copy of the Daily Prophet. Sirius groaned and slumped over, resting his head on the tabletop. "I hate Valentine's Day..."

James sighed, rolled up his newspaper, and whacked Sirius round the head with it, leaving a smear of tomato-y gunk across the Black's face. Sirius shrieked and rubbed at it furiously with his sleeve. "JAMES! What was that for?!"

James just grinned. "Stop moping, Black!" Sirius pouted.

"I'm not MOPING! I'm just... Waiting. Miserably." James laughed.

"That's true. Snape's got it coming... Serves him right for laughing at you. Though, it was pretty funny seeing you practically drowning in rose petals... And when that swarm of bees started chasing you round the lake, I nearly wet myself!"

"Yes," muttered Sirius darkly. "I had noticed, actually. But you're my friend. And besides, Snape was laughing AT me, the slimy little creep."

James nodded, and through a mouthful of toast, managed to say - "That's so true, so true. He is indeed slimy... Like a toad..."

Sirius leapt up, and yelled, "NEVER COMPARE MY BELOVED TULULA TO THE LIKES OF SNAPE!" And tipped his goblet of pumpkin juice over James' head.

-----

Remus released a heavy sigh as Sirius jumped to his feet, taking advantage of the distinct lack of a person sitting next to him to lean over and grab the plate of sausages. "S-Sirius, will you _please_ stop with T-Tulula? It's been a m-m-month and a half already." Helping himself to some food, he replaced the plate before tugging Sirius back down to the bench by the back of his robes. "Now _s-sit_, and open that c-card. Y-you might hate Valentine's D-Day, but some girl probably p-p-put a lot of effort into th-that. You d-don't want to seem _heartless_, now, d-do you?"

Now reaching for the bacon plate, he could not help but smile. "And, y-you need to make sure that you're l-looking as innocent as p-p-possible so that Snape d-doesn't suspect us."

-----

Sirius grinned. "Innocent? That's my middle name, I'll have you know. And don't be so callous, Remmy. Tulula was my first and only love! I shall request to be buried next to her in my will..." Sirius' speech was interrupted by a sudden shriek of horror from the Slytherin table. Sirius' head whipped round, his eyes narrowing gleefully as he searched for the source of the noise.

It wasn't difficult to spot. Snape, the greasy first-year, was sitting there, open mouthed in horror, his hair transformed into ringlets of a disgustingly bright shade of neon-pink.

It was too much for James. He fell off his bench, howling with laughter. Sirius collapsed next to him, barely even breathing through his hysterics.

-----

Remus, subtlety ever his strong point, managed to bite back his laughter, but could not help but place his head on the table as James and Sirius fell off the bench. "V-very innocent, guys" he sighed as Peter finally joined the other two on the floor, his face red from his tears of laughter.

Unfortunately for him, he looked up just as Professor McGonagall came storming over to them, her face like thunder. "Misters Black, Potter, Pettigrew and Lupin!" she snapped, glaring down at the three boys on the floor. "From your reactions, this is quite obviously your doing! What in _Merlin's_ name possessed you to do that to a fellow student?"

Remus looked up at her, guilt and innocence oxymoronically shining in his eyes. "W-well, Professor, y-you see -"

McGonagall shook her head. "No, forget it. I don't want to hear it. Detention, _all of you_, tonight at seven o'clock. I'm sure Hagrid will find something for you all to do." And then she stormed off, leaving Remus nigh on banging his head on the table.

-----

Sirius crawled back up onto the bench, and grinned guiltily at Remus. "Ah, I'm sorry Remmy! I didn't think it'd get you in trouble! Forgive me?"

-----

Remus looked up at Sirius, his eyes now half-angry. "I j-just got my first d-detention, Sirius," he said, deliberately not using his fond nickname for him as he placed his head back down onto the table. It was fast becoming the best way for Remus to try and ignore his friends. "Why, _why_, d-d-do I let you t-talk me into these things?" he lamented

-----

Sirius sniffed pitifully and poked Remus in the shoulder. "Reeeeeeeeeeeeeemus. I said I was sorry! We didn't think... We didn't think they'd know it was us! Let alone you! I mean, we signed the card MINERVA and everything!" He sighed, and slyly drew Remus into a hug.

"Forgive me, Remus. Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please?"

-----

Remus flinched as Sirius poked his bite-scar, but managed to relax as his friend hugged him. He sat up slowly and returned the hug. "Of c-course I do, Siri," he said quietly, "b-but when you began t-to laugh, it k-kinda gave the game away. I w-was involved by association." He drew back, reaching again for a plate - of toast, this time. "I w-wonder what we'll h-have to do in d-detention," he pondered gloomily, taking an absentminded bite of toast.

-----

Sirius sighed and sat up properly. "Don't be so depressive, Remus. It'll probably just be lines again... That's what we normally get. Although, I've never had a detention with Hagrid before. And well, between you and me, it's highly doubtful as to whether he can read, being a half-breed and all... so... Lines is a bit unlikely really ..."

-----

Remus looked at Sirius, one eyebrow raised somewhat delicately. "So b-because Hagrid is a s-so-called 'half-breed', he automatically c-can't read?" he asked quietly, putting his toast back down on his plate. Then he shook his head almost violently. "S-sorry," he said. "Th-that wasn't y-your fault, I hope. B-but you need to t-try and throw away y-your family's prejudices. There are t-too many of them around n-n-nowadays."

_'And I should know. I should know.'_

_-----_

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Hey! That's not fair! He really IS a half-breed! His mother was a giantess! And look, Remus, giants can't even TALK properly! So the chances of him being literate are GENTICALLY speaking, really, really slim! I'm not totally racist you know!" He paused, glaring at Remus, before continuing. "My _family_," he spat, "my family would have burned his house to the ground already! They would mock him, spit at him, belittle him. Have you EVER seen me do that?! Ever?!" He paused, and rubbed his eyes - a gesture that was quickly become a regular occurrence, signifying his distress.

"Look, Remus. I... You can't just... It's not a Black thing. It's a Pureblood thing. A culture thing. A few years ago, the whole of the Wizarding World would have openly shunned him, like he was a leper or something. I mean, he's technically a CROSS BREED! His mother was a GIANTESS. You can see why people thought it was unnatural!" He sighed, and shook his head.

"I just don't understand, Remmy, how you can STILL think that I have their prejudices. I'm not like them. I'm not."

-----

Remus' golden eyes were just as distressed as Sirius's. "I know, S-Siri," he assured, his voice slightly raised, "b-b-but I only w-want to help you! If y-you want to _really_ be d-different to your family, y-you _have_ to stop _assuming_ th-things! J-just because s-something's _genetically_ slim, you n-need to consider th-the other factors! He used t-to attend this sc-school, for M-Merlin's sake, he _h-has_ to be able t-t-to read!"

He lowered his head, pinching the bridge of his nose gently. "Until p-people like you th-throw away these p-p-prejudices, n-nobody will f-find peace in this world. Th-that's why cross breeds and v-vampires and... _w-w-w-werewolves_ are always outcast. If p-people were more accepting, h-help and opportunities c-could be given t-to them. B-but it's not. P-purebloods like you will g-govern our future, and I j-just want to help you."

-----

Sirius scowled. "I don't need your help. I think I can make judgements like that for myself, thanks. I mean, think about what you're SAYING, Remus! You want bloodthirsty monsters to RULE our country?! To govern?! If the vampires, the werewolves, trolls, ogres, hags... If they took charge, what do you think would happen? The whole of the Wizarding world would fall into chaos! Our culture would be destroyed! And I, as a pureblood, will do my DUTY to make sure that NEVER happens! EVER."

-----

"THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Remus yelled, leaping to his feet and punching the table in a fit of rage. It splintered, but did not break. The entire hall fell silent, everyone turning to stare at the shaking lycanthrope. Feeling hundreds of eyes upon him - but too angry to care about them - he bent down and grabbed Sirius by the neck of his expensive, hand-woven robes. He was reminded of their fight in the Hospital Wing on that first day, their opposite-coloured eyes inches away from each other as he lifted Sirius from the bench.

"These _stupid_ points of view and assumptions, _these_ are the things that are destroying _everything_!" he hissed in utter fury. "Acceptance leads to help, and help leads to finding the cure for these _curses_! And if you're all _against_ finding these cures and _helping _these people, then _by Merlin_ this world will crash and burn!"

And with that, he threw Sirius back down onto the bench and marched furiously from the room, ignoring Professor McGonagall's worried shouts after him as he disappeared.

-----

Sirius scrambled to his feet and drew his wand, shaking with rage, a thousand Black curses burning on his tongue. "_TENEBRES D'INCENDIO!_" He shrieked, and hurled the curse at Remus' retreating back. The other boy was too fast, however, and it hit the doors, which splintered into an explosion of black flames.

Sirius blinked as the Hall erupted into screams, and looked around, paling as he realised what had just happened. Ignoring James' worried yells, he headed for the doors, the crowds parting around him. He reached the still burning wreckage of the doors, and strode right through it, ignoring the panicked gasp of the onlookers.

_Idiots. As if the Black Fire could ever touch __**me**__!_

Back in the Great Hall, Lily Evans crept forwards, unnoticed in the chaos, as the Black Flames began to lick at the walls, and plucked an unopened golden envelope from the floor. Red hair flopped forwards over her face, obscuring a single tear trailing down her freckled face, as she traced the carefully inked letters - Sirius.

"I'll never forgive you for this, Black."

She furiously wiped her eyes, and looked up, glaring venomously as the dark fire, that was still dancing.

"Never."


	17. Promises That Look Like Lies

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**Promises That Look Like Lies**

Remus was sat outside Hagrid's hut, his head in his hands as he awaited the arrival of seven o'clock. He had been out here since the end of lessons, having spent the day avoiding Sirius for all that he was worth (in other words, hiding in the Hospital Wing after convincing Madam Pomfrey that he had a headache and felt nauseous - he supposed that fainting in the middle of the room helped his case). It was the first time he had ever deliberately missed lessons, and despite Remus lying in his sickbed he had not escaped a half-rollicking, half-comforting talk from Professor McGonagall in which he had received a further three detentions for 'disturbing the peace'.

Unable to face returning to the Great Hall for dinner - worried not only about meeting Sirius again, but of facing the rest of the school - he had fled directly to Hagrid's. Unfortunately, after the outburst that morning, Hagrid seemed unwilling to talk to him. So he had spent the past two-and-a-bit hours sitting quietly on the forest's edge, not enjoying the mutual silence between him and the half-giant. But what else was he to do? Sirius, James and Peter would be arriving any moment, and he was highly unwilling to face them.

And without Hagrid's friendly form to protect him, he dreaded to think what would happen to him.

-----

It was ten to seven, and Sirius was hurrying towards the Gamekeeper's Hut, staring miserably at the floor, his face a mask of ice. Professor Slughorn puffed and wheezed to his left, his face rapidly purpling. On his other side, McGonagall swept briskly along, her face stern.

Sirius sighed, and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. _After that display in the Hall... They won't leave me alone!_ He stopped suddenly, upon catching sight of Remus. He stood silently for a moment, before turning to McGonagall. "Professor, I know what you think of me. I know you think I'm Evil and Dark and Sick and Twisted, but... It wasn't me, who cursed that girl. So stop... Just, give me detentions, lock me up in Azkaban, do what you like, just stop _following_ me!" He turned, and stalked off towards the hut, cheering gleefully inside when neither teacher followed. He'd probably earned himself another week's worth of detentions - but it was worth it. So very worth it.

He walked over to Hagrid's house, and leant against the stone wall, the picture of nonchalance, pointedly ignoring Remus.

Eventually, James and Peter ran over, red-face and puffing. They awkwardly greeted Remus, and sat down beside him, ignoring Sirius completely.

-----

Remus looked up as Sirius arrived, sparing the two teachers trailing him a glance before returning his golden gaze to the floor. He clenched his hands tightly at he sensed Sirius walking over to Hagrid's hut, making sure that he did not look up. Even when James and Peter arrived with their awkward greetings, Remus still did not look up.

"G-go and talk to S-S-Sirius," he said quietly, staring at the floor. "I agitated h-him. H-he's not c-c-crazy, I am."

Peter and James exchanged glances. "Remus, he tried to _curse_ you!" Peter finally said. "Surely he's cra-"

Remus growled, finally looking up. His eyes shone with fear and - dare he say it - _madness_, and Peter and James immediately drew back. "I said, _go and talk to Sirius_!" he snarled, and Peter wasted no time in fleeing from him. James was not long following, but whether or not they went to Sirius, Remus did not know. He had looked back at the ground the very moment James had got to his feet in order to hide his tears from them.

He had already hurt Sirius. He _refused_ to hurt his other friends.

It was better for them all if they left him alone.

-----

Sirius scowled as James and Peter wandered over, looking lost. "What do you two _blood traitors_ want?" He sneered coldly. _If it's a Black they want, it's a Black they'll get!_

James opened his mouth to say something, but Peter elbowed him in the stomach and he promptly shut it again.

Eventually, just as Sirius had been attempting to burn a hole in the grass with his Black Stare, as he now called it, Hagrid appeared.

"Righ' then," he said loudly, clapping his hands. "We've gotta very importahnt mission from Dumbledore himself today, so no muckin' around! We're gonna go find some Kingsfoil herbs - green, six point leaves, with red veins. Ah'll be puttin' y' in pairs, 'cos otherwise we'll all be on the receivin' end o' some prank won't we? So, Potter-"

Peter suddenly interuptted, with a desperate squeak. "You... You mean we're going in THERE?!" He pointed wildly at the Forest, and Hagrid nodded.

"Well yeah! Alrigh' I'll go with you an' Potter, so that means Black, you an Lupin, you'll be a team. Righ' then. All set? Let's be off."

Hagrid strode off into the darkness, quickly followed by James and Peter. Sirius shrugged, and wandered after them, not caring if Remus followed or not.

-----

Remus placed his head in his hands as by some irony, he was paired with Sirius. Forcing himself to stand, he reluctantly followed the other four into the forest, his eyes automatically adjusting to the sudden darkness. He walked a few yards behind Sirius - who, in turn, was walking a few yards behind the other three - until they reached a fork in the pathway. He stopped apart from them all, watching them, the perfect picture of impassiveness.

Inside, however, he felt like crying again.

"Righ'. Black, Lupin, yeh'll know tha' there're dangerous creatures in 'ere, so if you ge' in any danger, fire red sparks intah the sky. Ah'll come and find yeh." He handed Sirius a sack. "Any herbs yeh find, put in here. Potter, Pettigrew, stick wit' me." Peter seemed to shrink as he huddled closer to the giant man, and the three of them walked away into the darkness.

Still ignoring Sirius, Remus walked past him and down the other path, his hand curled around his wand in his pocket. If Sirius was going to try and attack him, he was ready.

-----

Sirius trudged boredly through the forest, scanning idly for the Kingsfoil herbs by the light of a Lumos charm. _Merlin this is boring... I wish... I wish I could rewind. Back to this morning, try it all again. Then this would be nothing more than a nice walk in the woods with my best friend. What the hell happened?! To make things THIS awkward?_

He sighed, and reached out to push a low-hanging branch - only, it wasn't a branch. The snake hissed loudly, and struck for his face. Sirius let out a yell of surprise, and jerked backwards, but the snakes fangs just managed to scratch his cheekbone.

He landed clumsily on the floor, and pressed a hand to his suddenly burning face. "Ah!" He hissed, blinking rapidly against the stinging pain.

-----

At the sound of Sirius's cry of pain, Remus instinctively pulled his wand from his pocket and fired red sparks into the air. He spun on his heel simultaniously to see Sirius on the ground, a hand clutched to his cheek. He did not hesitate to run to his friend's side.

"Wh-what happened?" he asked quietly, automatically reaching out to take Sirius's hand from his face and see for himself. The possibility of being cursed, however, caused him to withdraw and back away slightly. For though his concern was great, he wondered how Sirius would react to him.

-----

Sirius blinked up at Remus, his eyes swimming with tears. "My _face!_" he howled, writhing in pain as the poison spread across his face, bursting the blood vessels in his eyes, spreading down to his neck.

"AHH! My FACE! It's on fire! REMUS, REMUS! Do something, REMUS

-----

"I-I-I don't know wh-what to do!" Remus replied, beginning to panic now. "I-I'm not a H-Healer!" He rapidly fired another pillar of red sparks into the sky, hoping against hope that Hagrid was not far away. His mind was whirling, pages from every book he had ever read flicking open and shut again, snapshots of every conversation involving Healing he had ever heard. And finally, he found a spell.

Would it work? He could not tell unless he tried.

"_Episkey_!" he cried in desperation, his wand now pointed directly at Sirius's face.

_'Please work, please work,_ please _work...'_

_-----_

Sirius, upon hearing the spell, dived out of the way. "Nuh uh," he panted. "You can't, not with the poison, you'd have to slash my wrists to get it out again! Quickly, Remmy. The plant. We need the plant, it's- AHH! AHH, Merlin!" Sirius moved his hand away from his face, revealing his swollen, bleeding cheek and neck, and bloody eyes. "The plant, Remus!" He cried once more, srabbling to his feet, where he stood, swaying, and looking about desperately.

-----

Remus cast his gaze about again, searching for the fallen sack in the darkness outside Sirius's wandlight. "Oh, Merlin!" he muttered anxiously, scrabbling around on the floor as his mind set about its work again. It helpfully highlighted a spell that could help him find the bag before returning to his Herbology books, flicking endlessly through anything Medieval to modern-day in an effort to discover kingsfoil.

"_Accio_ sack!" he shouted wildly, reaching out to grab the bag that was flying to him from behind. He reached in and retrieved one even while running back to Sirius, finally reaching a paragraph which explained about the herb. He paused at his realisation of its application, however.

_Kingsfoil must be ground up and mixed with human saliva in order for its healing capabilities to work..._

And then his mind unhelpfully flicked to a textbook passage that he had read about werewolves:

_Lycanthropy is a magical illness that is spread by saliva-blood contact..._

If Remus were to use kingsfoil, he would have to use his saliva and spread it over Sirius's cut. Although he was not in his hated wolf form, who was to know what would happen if he mixed his saliva with Sirius's blood? He did not want him to be cursed, too...

But surely, if he was not a _wolf_...

His mind made up in a split second, he continued to Sirius's side and practically fell to his knees beside him. "I-I'm s-s-sorry, Sirius," he apologised, before stuffing the leaf in his mouth and chewing frantically. Not only was he apologising in advance for smearing his saliva all over Sirius's face, he was apologising for any possible consequences of this action.

He did not think he could live with himself if Sirius became cursed like him.

When he finally considered the leaf to be ground into enough of a pulp, he carefully spat the now-brownish substance into his hand. "I'm s-sorry!" he apologised again, close to weeping in fear, before grabbing a handful of it and spreading it over the wound on his cheek.

-----

Sirius grimaced slightly, as Remus spread the warm gloopy herb onto his face. _Nice._

In actual fact, it was rather pleasant. The anti-venom in the leaf spread slowly through his veins, cooling his blood like ice water. He grinned in relief, and patted Remus reassuringly. "It's okay, Remus, I can breathe again!" He said cheerfully, and scrambled to his feet. "It's all o-" He broke off, clutching his chest suddenly.

"Oh!" He said, his eyebrows raised. "That's... That's _cold_!" He shrugged, and was about to keep walking, when his knees gave way, and he was sent sprawling to the floor. "Remus, are you sure that was Kingsfoil?!" He mumbled, cradling his suddenly aching head. "I-" He broke off, looking dazed. "I... Is that James?! Bloody hell, that child is LOUD."

-----

Remus was by Sirius's side in an instant, his panic spiking again. What if his _own_ poison was affecting Sirius? Cursing him slowly, even without the full moon? Overcome with guilt, he knelt beside Sirius and pulled him from his sprawled position so that he was sitting. "I'm s-s-sorry, Sirius," he whispered, hugging the other boy tightly. "I'm _so_ sorry."

And then he inhaled.

Sirius smelt no different. He smelt exactly as he normally did, of falling leaves and thunderstorms and that tiniest hint of Dark Magic. Not of blood and fur and tears.

Sirius was not a werewolf.

And at that revelation, he burst into tears.

Needless to say, when James, Peter and Hagrid suddenly appeared, the scene before them was rather baffling.

-----

Sirius blinked dazedly. "Hey, hey! Don't cry Remmy." His voice was suddenly softer, gentle, like it was before their fight. "Shh... It's fine, Remus. I'm fine! You saved my life! Again! So don't cry, Remus. PLease don't cry."

He looked up at James, and smiled crookedly. "Alright, mate?" Hagrid was the one to answer.

"Bloody hell, wha' happened to yer face?!" Sirius just grinned.

"Small incident with a snake. Nothing to worry about though - bit of Kingsfoil cleared it all up. Shouldn't even be a scar left, now..." He raised his hand, and frowned. He could feel it, two thin lines across his left cheekbones, like a tribal tattoo. He swallowed uncomfortably, and attempted to shrug it off. "Well, never mind. Maybe it's just slow... I'm sure it'll be just fi-"

"Wait a minute!" Hagrid looked worried. "Yer applied that yerself, did you?" Sirius shook his head.

"No, I was a bit out of it. Felt like my head was on fire! Remus did it for me. But that's okay, he's not like, germy or anything." Hagrid went white under his bushy beard.

"We need ter get yer t' the Hospital, Black." Sirius frowned.

"No, it's fine, honestly. I'm perfectly alright- Hey! Put me down! Put me DOWN!" Hagrid had scooped him up, and yelled at James and Peter to hurry up, and was running for the castle. They had reached the outskirts of the forest before Sirius managed to escape.

"HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! I TOLD YOU IM FINE! Remus saved my life, and he did a damn good job of it!"

-----

Remus stayed on the forest floor for a few minutes after the others left, sitting on his knees while his hands tugged agitatedly at his long hair. He could not stop sobbing, no matter how hard he tried, and his chest was beginning to ache from it. Sirius was safe, he was not cursed, and that was really all that mattered. But Hagrid's reaction...

Everyone knew that Hagrid was an expert on Magical Creatures, almost as good as the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, and if he was worried then it was for good reason. And the fact that Sirius was still scarred spoke volumes. Remus was living, breathing proof of the fact that werewolves never truly healed, there was hardly a patch of skin on him that was not riddled with scars. Perhaps his poison was not taking such an effect yet? Perhaps nothing would become clear until the full moon, when Sirius's familiar scent could be changed for good?

Eventually, Remus got to his feet, the sack of Kingsfoil in one hand and his wand in the other. The others were nowhere in sight nor hearing, and a quick "_Lumos_" lit the way for him. Thankfully, he remembered exactly where he and Sirius had walked to arrive here, so it was simply a matter of retracing his steps at as fast a pace as possible.

He arrived at the edge of the forest just as Sirius managed to leap from Hagrid's grasp and started to yell (thanks to the inhuman speed that he usually managed to supress). At the sound of Sirius's words, he realised their argument and hurried over to intervene.

"H-Hagrid, Siri is f-fine, I promise," he said, shooting the half-giant a look that was laden in secrets and hidden meaning. There was no point in worrying them all, after all. "The k-kingsfoil worked wonders, it's j-just scarred because of the t-t-type of poison, I expect. I d-don't disagree that S-Siri needs to be ch-checked for underlying p-problems, however." He turned to Sirius, his face strangely blank and his eyes closed off.

He would not show his fear. Sirius had no need to worry.

"S-Siri, please g-go to the Hospital W-Wing." And, expecting an argument, he grasped the older boy's forearm and forcibly began to lead him to the castle, leaving an astounded James, Peter and Hagrid in their wake.

-----

Sirius rolled his eyes, and dug his heels in, refusing to move. He grasped Remus gently by the shoulders, and spun him round into a gentle hug. "Remus," he muttered. "Don't be scared, Remus. I'm okay. Just tired. So just, relax, and lets go back to the dorms, and get some sleep - okay?" James nodded, and Hagrid left them to it. Sirius smiled encouragingly at Remus, and dragged him off to the castle, still holding his hand.

-----

Remus finally let go of Sirius's hand as the reached the Common Room, his eyes still showing immense worry. "S-Sirius," he began, the use of his full name indicating the gravity of the situation, "_p-p-please_ let me t-take you t-to the Hospital Wing! We d-don't know _what_snake p-poisoned you. M-m-maybe the p-poison has only b-been _frozen_, n-not stopped..." His stutter had become just that more pronounced as he lied desperately, but it could be passed off as nervousness for Sirius's well-being. He did not want to antagonise him, after all, just ensure that he was not infected with lycanthropy.

He just could not tell him that.

"P-please, Sirius. I-it's like Christmas all ov-ver again; I c-c-can't lose you. J-just _please_ go and b-be given a once-over, j-just to be s-s-safe."

-----

Sirius sighed. "Remus! How many times do I have to say it?! I'm fine! Look, I don't feel weak, or shaky, or feverish, or nauseous, or... I don't know! I don't feel poisoned, okay?! Gosh. You're making a fuss over nothing! Stop being so bloody melodramatic."

Shaking his head, he turned and started wandering towards the staircase.

-----

"D-do you feel _anything_?" Remus asked, still concerned. "I m-mean, are y-you... I d-don't know, hypersensitive o-or s-s-something? Hungry? T-tired, awake, b-b-bloated, hopeless, _d-desperate_? _Anything_ could b-be a symptom, a-and Merlin only kn-knows what th-that herb h-had on it that c-could infect you!" He rand to Sirius's side, grasping the tops of his arms firmly.

"_D-do you feel any d-d-different_?"

Because, really, that was all that mattered.

-----

Sirius sighed, but seriously considered it. "Right. Well, I'm not _emotionally drained_ in anyway... I'm a bit tired, but that's understandable... I... I've got a bit of a headache - but that's just because everyone's being so _loud_, and the lights in here are a bit bright... I'm still adjusting from outside, so that's normal, right? Oh, and I'm sure as hell not _bloated_, thankyou very much!"

-----

Remus ignored this last quip. "We've b-been inside f-f-for a while, Sirius," he said quietly, suddenly wondering about possible hypersensitivity. "Your eyes sh-should have adjusted b-by now. And it's _qu-quiet_ in h-here, everyone's asleep in th-their dorms."

And there was the lie, for if Sirius really _was_ hypersensitive, it _was_ loud. But he needed to see his reaction.

"I th-think you're h-hyperaware," he reluctantly concluded, recognising one of the early symptoms of lycanthropy. "And th-that isn't good."

-----

Sirius stood very still, his face scrunched up in confusion. "What dyou _mean_ it's quiet?! You keep YELLING at me, and some kid in the third year dorms is snoring like a TRAIN. Look, I probably just need some sleep, right?"

-----

"S-Sirius, I'm _whispering_," Remus pointed out anxiously. "I d-don't want to w-w-wake anybody up. And h-how do you know that the sn-snorer is in the Th-Third Year dorms? They c-could be anywhere, and y-yet you're s-so specific." He looked at Sirius imploringly, his golden eyes wide. "Y-you're not well, S-Siri."

-----

Sirius slapped his palm to his face irritatedly. "Gosh....... Okay, how about this. If I'm still all weird tomorrow morning, I'll go to the Hospital Wing before breakfast. Okay?"

-----

Remus, having decided that this was the best offer he was going to get from Sirius, finally let his friend go, his hands falling limply to his sides. "Fine. B-but _please_ d-don't lie about it. I-if you're still h-hyperaware, you _m-must_ tell me." And with a final look of appeasement, he walked around Sirius and up into the dormitory.


	18. Sneaking

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**Sneaking…**

**Authors Note: ATTENTION! PLEASE GO BACK AND RE-READ CHAPTER 15 (BACK TO SCHOOL). Half the chapter was left out, and without it, this will make NO SENSE!!!**

"Right," whispered James, his eyes filled with a determination that only rule-breaking could inspire. "Let Operation Stalk commence!"

"I really wish you wouldn't call it that," mumbled Sirius sullenly. "Operation Night Owl was so much more... Sly. Subtle. Less stupid too."

James snorted. "Stop sulking, Sirius, and start moving! Highgate will be leaving the classroom any second, and we have to be ready!" He had no sooner stopped speaking, than the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom door creaked open, and Professor Highgate stalked out, his black robes billowing. Sirius and James ducked back into the low alcove in which they were hiding, and watched intently as the Professor strode down the dark, deserted corridor.

It was gone ten at night, and as Remus (the 'sensible one' was conspicuously absent, James and Sirius had decided to go on a mission. Highgate was still their top suspect, and three more girls had been attacked. As James had cheerfully pointed out, 'Some bastard's attacking all the girls - so we'd better catch him quick before he moves on to the boys! I don't fancy a long stay in the Hospital Wing with Pomfrey harassing me, thanks!' So, the two boys has spent the night lurking outside their classroom, waiting for the Professor to make an appearance.

They followed him stealthily through the twisting corridors, until he stopped suddenly in the middle of a hallway. James ran straight into Sirius, and swore. The too of them froze instinctively, not even daring to breathe. However, Highgate didn't seem to notice.

"Shiiiiiiiit..." breathed James. "That was close!" Sirius elbowed him in the stomach, and edged forwards, hiding behind a suit of armour. Highgate was just standing there, as thought waiting for someone. _What...? What the hell is he doing?!_

Eventually, a fifth-year prefect rounded the corner, her nose in a book. Sirius poked James impatiently. _This is it..._

However, there were no spells, no curses, no burst of horrid, spine-tingling Dark magic. Highgate simply walked slowly up to the girl and then-

"....Ew." Sirius nodded. James was absolutely right. _Ew. He's... What is he...? Is he KISSING her NECK?! Ew. Ew. Ew. That's so nasty! In a corridor! She's only- She's only fifteen! He must be about THIRTY! Oh that's wrong..._ Grimacing disgustedly, he motioned to James that they should run for it - and run for it they did, not stopping until they reached the safety of the Dorms.

They were so disgusted that they completely missed the moment where Highgate raised his head, blood dripping from his mouth and teeth, and let go of the prefect, letting her slump weak and bloodless, to the ground.

-----

Remus was sitting down in the Great Hall, awaiting the arrival of his friends. The night before had been the full moon, and - although nothing serious had happened to him - Madam Pomfrey had insisted on keeping him in the Hospital Wing until lunch time; she had wanted to see if this new potion would heal his scars and cuts.

Unsurprisingly, it had not.

Still, disappointed though he was, he had forced the Healer to let him to finally release him, and he had limped directly down to the Great Hall a few minutes before the rest of the school had left their lessons. He had been working on hiding his limp (a bandage was wrapped so tightly around his knee that it refused to bend), but if anyone asked, he had slept on it awkwardly. Whether anyone would believe that he had slept or not was another matter; the dark shadows under his eyes showed that he had hardly slept a wink.

This was not just because he had been up all night attacking himself, but because he had not slept well since the fight between him and Sirius last month. Although Sirius had not mentioned anything more about his seemingly super-sensory experience, Remus was prone to worrying about his friends. He had breathed a sigh of relief when he had seen that Sirius was not incarcerated in the Hospital Wing that morning, and now felt able to assure himself that he had not, in fact, cursed him to lycanthropy.

He helped himself to a welcome beef sandwich, taking a bite just as the lunchtime bell rang. Hopefully, his friends would arrive any moment now...

-----

Sirius wandered into the Great Hall, his mind occupied with nothing more serious than whether to have beef or chicken for lunch... However, the moment he caught sight of Remus, his mind snapped back into focus, and he ran the rest of the way to the Gryffindor table.

"Remus!" he panted, and plonked himself in the seat next to his friend. He started to recount the adventures of last night, reaching for the plate of beef sandwiches as he did so. "You'll never guess what happened to me and James last night! We were following Highgate, because well, we wanted to find out what was happening with all these attacks, and stalking seemed like the obvious answer! But we're right back at square one, because it isn't Highgate! He's not a Dark Wizard he's just a total paedophile - we saw him making out with a fifth year! Gross..." He shuddered, and stuffed a slice of beef into his mouth, leaving the bread discarded on his plate.

-----

Remus nearly dropped his sandwich as Sirius recounted his tale of seeing Professor Highgate 'making out' with a Fifth Year student. "D-dare I ask _which_ F-Fifth Year?" he asked, quietly scanning the room for any likely suspects... It seemed a pointless initiative, however, for who would honestly have guessed that Highgate went around snogging _students_?

It was about then that Remus noticed the discarded bread on Sirius's plate, and the sight of him taking meat from the sandwiches. A sense of unease slid over him, but he shook it off. Perhaps Sirius just did not feel like sandwiches today? Anyway, there was the more pressing matter of Highgate to consider, now. "A-and another th-thing, _why_ did you sn-sneak out at night?! I h-hoped you'd learnt b-b-better!"

But that aside, as he cast his mind back to that morning, he could have _sworn_ there was another occupied bed in the Hospital Wing...

-----

Sirius shrugged. "Sorry... What can I say, the temptation was just too great! Anyway, it's a good thing we _did_ follow him! I mean, now we know he's innocent, we can start thinking of other possibilities. Like, what if it's some kind of... I don't know, poison? Maybe Pomfrey misread the symptoms?" He grew suddenly serious, and dropped an uneaten chicken drumstick back onto his plate, turning to face Remus properly.

"Look, Remus. The teachers - and some of the older students - still suspect me, I know it! They keep giving me weird looks, and they're finding every excuse possible to give me detentions - just to keep me in site! And well, to be frank, I've had enough of it! Me and James had to use three decoys and a Levitation charm to get out of the Common Room, just because people kept following me! I need to find out who's doing this, Remus. I need to clear my name!"

_I need to show them all that I'm innocent!_

_I need them to trust me._

_-----_

Remus sighed as he grabbed another sandwich - ham this time - and took an absentminded bite. He _knew_ that Highgate was involved somehow, the scent haunted him around he school, but after this new development his friends were adamant that the man was innocent (well, as innocent as one who went around snogging teenage girls could be). How could he convince them otherwise?

"I th-think there's more to Highgate than f-first appears," he mused aloud, turning back to Sirius. "_S-something's_ going on, and I w-wonder what it is. Until we p-prove his innocence, I s-say we investigate m-more. And wh-when - well, _if_ - we c-can prove him guilty, y-you're then innocent."

-----

Sirius sighed, but just nodded resignedly. "I guess you're right. I mean, he was wandering around the castle late at night... And well, even if we do just follow him, then we might catch sight of something useful while we're there." He resumed eating, but was once again interrupted - though this time by James.

"Hey Sirius! Quidditch match next week! Snape reckons that Slytherin will win, and well, we all know that's not gonna happen, so I bet him twenty Galleons! Only, um, I only have a ten Galleon allowance, so if the worst should happen...." He trailed off meaningfully, and Sirius nodded thoughtfully.

"You want the other ten?" James nodded, and Sirius grinned. "Sure, but it'll cost you!" James scowled.

"One box of Ever Flavour Beans?" Sirius shook his head.

"Nah, still got a boxful from Christmas... Three packets of Blood Lollipops, and you've got yourself a deal." James shrugged and nodded.

"Deal! Pleasure doing business with you!" Sirius laughed and stood up, swinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah. Now come one, we'll be late for class. You ready, Remus?

-----

"_T-twenty Galleons_ on a _Qu-Qudditch_ match?" Remus said incredulously, glancing at both James and Sirius. "Th-that's _obscene_! I-if I h-had twenty Galleons, I w-wouldn't _bet_ them away!" He looked away, feeling slightly ashamed of his poverty, to grab a final sandwich before standing. Running a hand wearily down his tired face, he turned back to his friends guiltily.

"S-sorry," he said quietly. "Th-that was uncalled f-for. It's _y-your_ money." He smiled weakly. "I h-have to get m-my bag. I'll s-see you in lessons." Then, taking a small bite from his sandwich, he limped past his friends and out of the Hall.

His feeling of unease merely grew stronger as he realised that Sirius had specifically asked for Blood Lollipops...

-----

Sirius looked at the floor awkwardly, as Remus rebuked them for gambling. He frowned guiltily, and for some reason, all he could think of was three silver sickles tumbling onto Remus' bed.

_Three sickles... And I'm gambling away ten GALLEONS, just on Quidditch?!_ Sirius felt like the smallest, meanest, most selfish person alive. However, before he could say anything, Remus had vanished from the hall, leaving Sirius with his horrid feeling of guilt and unease, and James - who was sitting there obliviously, still eating.

_Great._ He sighed. _Well, I'll just have to get him something extra nice for his birthday to make up for it!_


	19. Midnight Celebrations

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**Midnight Celebrations**

Remus, Peter, Sirius and James were all standing outside a certain Professor Highgate's office, the first looking extremely disappointed and rather bedraggled next to his friends. It did not help his mood that he did not _deserve_ a detention; the other three had only got theirs because they had forgotten to do their homework for the previous day's lesson. Remus, as usual, _had_ done his, but Highgate had coolly informed him that his essay was "not concise enough" and brought in "too many references". In other words, he had just wanted a reason to torment his least-favourite student.

The fact that Remus had a detention - though far from a pleasing occasion - was made worse by the fact that today was his twelfth birthday.

He had awoken this morning with the sad revelation that he had no presents. He had been so worried about Sirius's continuing reaction to his saliva that it had completely slipped his mind to tell his friends about his birthday. Rather unsurprisingly, his father had completely ignored the date, too.

Remus' birthday had never been a major occasion since The Bite. His father had occasionally given him the _most wonderful_ present of a few extra silver burns, but it was never acknowledged. So the fact that he had not received any presents should not have dejected him so.

He could not help but look it, however.

-----

Sirius poked Remus playfully in the ribs. "Hey, Remus! Don't look so down! It's just a detention! It's not like this is a rare occurrence... On second thoughts, maybe that's the problem. I'm sorry for getting you into trouble again, Remmy. But please don't be sad! I'll buy you some Chocolate Frogs to make up for it, I swear!"

-----

"Y-you'd better," Remus warned, straightening his tie anxiously. Spotting that his shoelace was untied, he quickly knelt down to retie it again. Whilst he was out of earshot of his friends, he mumbled almost inaudibly, "Y-you owe me. D-detention on my b-b-birthday, _honestly_..." He did not _like_ making his friends guilty, after all, so he endeavoured to stay as quiet as possible. By the time he stood, a fake smile was plastered on his face.

"On the p-plus side, we n-now have a chance to r-reconnaissance Highgate's office," he pointed out, shifting his satchel slightly as the strap dug into his bite scar. "P-perhaps we'll spot s-some evidence of his g-guilt."

-----

Sirius gaped at Remus, aghast. "Your... Your _birthday?!_ Merlin, Remus! Why didn't you SAY something?!" Slowly, so as not to make Remus feel _too_ guilty, his face broke into a smile. "Honestly. Seeing as how I went to all that trouble of pre-ordering your present, it would've been nice if you told me when your birthday actually WAS!"

He rolled his eyes in mock annoyance and chuckled slightly. "Well, you can have it when we've finished up here. You're going to absolutely love it, I promise! It's way better than that mouldy old book I got you at Christmas..."

-----

Remus sighed and leaned his head backwards, resting it against the stone wall as he closed his eyes. "Y-you weren't m-meant to hear that," he muttered apologetically, giving a tiny, self-deprecating laugh. "I-it was meant t-to be a s-secret." He ran a long-fingered hand through his brownish hair, his fake smile immediately falling off his face.

"A-and _please_ don't s-say that you b-bought me something _even m-m-more_ expensive than th-that _wonderful_ book," he said, putting extra emphasis on the word 'wonderful' to assure his friend that his last present had most certainly _not_ been mouldy and old. "I d-don't like the th-thought of you g-giving me such expensive p-p-presents."

-----

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Remus," He said in a no-nonsense-you're-being-stupid tone of voice. "Why the hell would you keep your birthday, your _birthday_ a secret?! That's ridiculous!" He shook his head fondly. "Anyway. There's no need to get so worried! I know you were a bit... Well I just knew you'd say that, so I got you something not as expensive, but way better! You're actually going to love it! At least, I really hope you do! He laughed nervously, and grinned at Remus.

Sirius opened his mouth to once again reassure the still-worried looking boy, when the Defence classroom door opened slowly, revealing an angry looking Professor Highgate. "Are you boys going to stand here and gossip for the entire duration of this evening?! May I remind you this is a DETENTION! Now get inside and take your seats!" Sirius rolled his eyes as Highgate turned to go back inside, but followed the teacher in and sat down, James close behind him.

-----

Remus reluctantly followed his three friends into the room, sitting down where Highgate told him to; each of the four were in a different corner of the room, ensuring that they would be unable to communicate with each other. After ordering the quartet to take out their quills and parchment, he gave a mocking smile.

"Now, I expect you all to write three-hundred lines for me this evening," he said coldly, his black eyes darting rapidly between them all. "Misters Black, Pettigrew and Potter, you are each to write _'I must always complete my homework by the date that it is set.'_ Mister Lupin, you are to write _'I must not over-evaluate my essays to the point of idiocy.'_ Write in complete silence, and you are permitted to leave after I have checked your work." A final flash of his eyes and he turned to sit at his desk, falling as still as a statue. Only his eyes betrayed that there was, in fact, life hidden within the still form.

-----

Sirius glared at their teacher hatefully. _You bastard! Giving Remus a detention on his birthday... AND calling him an idiot?! You're the fool here, mister... You've made yourself some powerful enemies, and by Merlin are you going to regret it!_

However, experience had taught Sirius that the best thing to do in a scenario such as this was to repress his Gryffindor side, and get on with the work he was set. This he did, albeit in such an alarmingly violet manner that Highgate eventually looked up.

Sirius met his stare, unblinking and defiant. Highgate's eye twitched, and he swept over to Sirius' desk. "Is there a _problem_, Mr. Black?!" He hissed. Sirius smiled up at him innocently.

"No, sir. Everything's just wonderful, but thanks for asking." Highgate glared at him.

"I do not appreciate back-talk, Mr. Black! Get on with your work! Or you can come back and finish it tomorrow night - and the next!" Sirius opened his mouth to protest - but immediately thought better of it, and sullenly resumed scrawling.

-----

Remus glanced up from his work as Highgate strode over to Sirius's desk and took his chance, raking his gaze across the man's desk in a desperate effort to find anything that could prove his involvement in the injuries of those girls. Yet he knew that it would be fruitless; why would a teacher leave incriminating evidence in his office? It did not stop him from trying though.

After returning his gaze to his parchment _just_ before Highgate turned away from Sirius, he refilled his battered quill and set about writing again. He had lost track of how much he had written, his eyes were beginning to itch from tiredness, and his fingers were aching from writer's cramp. But he dared not stop in fear that Highgate would lose his temper.

So he kept on writing, and writing, and writing.

-----

Eventually, after about the 100th word, Sirius threw down his quill in disgust. "Professor?" He called, raising his hand in a display of mock-respect. Highgate looked up, anger evident in his face.

"Yes, Mr. Black?" He sneered. Sirius was undeterred.

"Well, seeing as how you're the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, I was just wondering... Do you have any idea as to who's behind all these attacks on students?" The change in Highgate's demeanour was so subtle, and if Sirius had blinked, he would have missed it. As it was, the tightening of his mouth, and the narrowing of his eyes was so slight that no one but a pureblood with years of training in how to read people would have had a chance of seeing it.

"Don't you think, Mr. Black," snarled Highgate, "that if I knew anything, I would have let the Headmaster know? And that the attacks would have stopped? Now cease bothering me with your pointless questions, and GET ON WITH YOUR WORK!"

"Yes sir." replied Sirius sweetly.

_I've got all I wanted now, anyway._

You're as guilty as hell, Highgate.

And I intend to prove it.

_-----_

The sickening scent in the room changed as Sirius spoke up, the sweet smell suddenly gaining a bitter tang to it. He risked an upwards glance as Highgate's eyes narrowed and he lost his temper, his hormone levels changing rapidly as he lied.

'He is guilty!' he thought, hardly able to suppress his grin. But before he began to count the lines on his parchment, he tried to catch Sirius's eyes. He was not sure if Sirius saw him or not, for he looked away after only a few seconds, but he was sure that he shared the same notion; being friends with him for even this short time had taught him that Sirius was good at reading people.

He wrote a few more lines before counting them up. Just twenty-seven lines left...

Twenty-seven lines later, he raised his hand expectantly, unwilling to interrupt Highgate's seething silence. Highgate made a great show of ignoring him for as long as he possibly could (about three minutes, seventeen seconds) before finally drawing his dark gaze to Remus' golden one. "Mister Lupin?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

"I've f-finished my lines, s-sir," Remus said simply. "Am I p-permitted to l-leave my seat and h-have them checked?"

Could he really help the barest hint of icy sarcasm that laced that question? Yes.

Did he regret including it? Never.

Highgate's eyes narrowed again, but he got to his feet with surprising grace. Striding to Remus' desk, he picked up the parchment and quickly scanned the perfectly-straight lines. Unable to spot even the tiniest of ink blots, he reluctantly replaced the parchment on the desk and gave Remus an insincere smile.

"Everything appears to be in order," Highgate said smoothly, patting Remus' shoulder in what could seem a friendly gesture. Unbeknownst to his friends, however, it happened to be the shoulder damaged by his bite scar, and Highgate happened to be wearing a silver ring. All in all, it was immensely painful for the lycanthrope; the silver might not be directly touching his skin, but the presence of the bite scar made this particular part of his body especially sensitive. Judging from Highgate's taunting smile, he knew exactly what he was doing. "You may leave."

Remus gritted his teeth, but refused to make a single sound of pain. "Th-thank you, s-sir," he murmured, eyes flashing dangerously, before standing up swiftly and leaving the room. It was then that he allowed himself a whimper of pain, rubbing his shoulder delicately.

Oh, how he hated Professor Highgate...

-----

Sirius - being the talented boy that he was - knew a fake gesture when he saw one. Somehow, by patting Remus on the shoulder, Highgate was getting at him. But how, Sirius wasn't sure. It couldn't have hurt, but... Remus looked to be in pain. Sirius frowned, but was distracted by Highgate suddenly looming over his desk.

"And you, Mr. Black? Are you to be returning tomorrow?" Sirius snorted, and shoved his piece of parchment at the teacher.

"Not on your life!" He exclaimed, eyes narrowed. "You might be my Defence professor, but you're not my Head of House - so watch yourself, _sir_. You've not got my respect - and I'm pretty sure you remember what happened in the Great Hall." Highgate sneered, and Sirius rose to leave, motioning to James that this detention was over. Before he reached the door, however, he looked back over his shoulder and grinned nastily.

"Oh, and Professor? That curse? The Black Flames? That was aimed at my _friend_. Imagine what I could do to filthy scum like you..." He chuckled, as Highgate paled, and clenched his fists. "Scared?" He whispered, before stalking out of the classroom, head held high, James scurrying by his side, face white and hair wild in his panic.

"Sirius, what was THAT?! He's a TEACHER!" Sirius stopped dead, white with fury.

"I know," he spat, 'but that lowlife keeps picking on Remus, hurting him. I'll make him pay for that. He doesn't have the right to touch my friends! I'll get him, James. I swear, whatever it is he's doing, I'll get him. He's going to regret this..."

-----

Remus had not gone far. Having seen that all of his friends had still been writing, he had assumed them to be in the detention for a while longer. Not having anticipated Sirius's near explosion at Highgate, he was currently sitting on the floor a few corridors away, his back to the wall and his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. His bite scar was burning like fire, a never-ending agony that he just was not used to. Even his _father_ had avoided his bite scar, preferring to pretend that it did not exist.

He dreaded to think what would have happened had silver touched his bite scar directly. Silver to skin, poison to poison. If _this_ was agony....

Sirius's harsh tones soon reached his sensitive ears, but he could not bring himself to stand. Instead, he somehow managed to fix a bored-looking smile on his face, implying that he had merely been sitting and waiting for them. "Th-that was quicker than I-I'd expected," he said casually, looking at his friends from the corner of his topaz eyes

-----

Sirius scowled, and didn't answer. James, sensing A Moment, decided to fill Remus in. "Well Sirius here decided that enough was enough, and gave Highgate a right good seeing to. Basically told him that he was an actual bastard, and that we'd be watching him. It was brilliant!" Sirius snarled, and punched the wall in frustration.

"It fucking wasn't! I'm sorry, Remus! I've totally blown our cover! He knows we know - which basically means that any element of surprise we had is completely demolished, and he'll be covering his tracks extra carefully. This is going to need more than a slyly taken photograph to prove." He sighed. "I've got no idea how to fix this. None at all."

-----

Remus sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall. The movement caused a twinge in his shoulder, and his face flickered as he withheld a grimace of pain. "Wh-what in _Merlin's_ n-name caused you to f-flip?" he asked, trying to keep his voice calm as he moved his painless arm to his face. "I _kn-know_ you d-d-dislike him, we _a-all_ do, but..."

He sighed again, forcing himself to stand. He automatically clutched at his shoulder as he did so, but even the lightest of touches aggravated it. He let go almost immediately. "I kn-know you hate m-me trying to ch-change you, Sirius, but y-you have to at l-least _try_ to c-control your temper around y-your enemies."

-----

Sirius snarled angrily and kicked the wall this time. "I do! I do fucking try! But when I see that stupid, selfish, evil, twisted bastard picking on you, HURTING you, it makes me want to KILL him! So I think, actually, that I have remarkable self-control!" He fell silent, panting, and tugged awkwardly at a lock of hair.

"Sorry." He muttered eventually, hurrying to Remus' side, and looping an arm round his waist. "I dunno what he did to you, but you look like crap, so we should probably get you to the Hospital Wing..."

-----

"He d-didn't do a-anything to m-me, Sirius," Remus assured, mentally crossing his fingers. "Well, h-he _did_, b-but accidentally. I g-got cramp in my sh-sh-shoulder last night wh-when I s-slept on it awkwardly, a-and the p-p-pressure caused it to t-twinge again. N-nothing to worry ab-bout." He gave an awkward smile as he hugged his friend, taking care to move his right arm as little as possible.

"P-plus, I d-don't want to go to the H-Hospital Wing on my b-birthday. What a r-rubbish present," he added dryly, his awkward smile becoming genuine. "D-don't worry, Siri."

-----

Sirius sighed, and stood there looking rather dejected. "I... It's just that if you're ill and stuff, then you won't want your present, will you?!"

-----

"Sirius, I'm _f-fine_," Remus insisted, pulling away from the hug. "A s-stiff shoulder isn't the w-w-worst injury I've ever s-sustained, is it? I'll b-b-be fine."

-----

Sirius sighed, and was about to insist, when he was suddenly and forcibly reminded of the time he'd been bitten by a snake, and how obstinate _he'd_ been about going to the hospital wing. He sighed and shrugged. "Well, it's your call... But seriously, if you start to feel ill, then just say - I won't be offended. But seeing as how your all 'fine', then I'm guessing you can have your Birthday present now... However! If you want it - you have to earn it. The conditions stand as thus. You have to believe in your inner Marauder, and come **outside**!" He almost added an evil laugh on the end, but decided against it, and instead simply waited patiently for Remus' reaction.

-----

Remus was about to insist - once again - that he was absolutely fine, and that he would _love_ to have his present now, when Sirius mentioned going outside. It was then that he hesitated. "O-outside?" he asked cautiously, torn between curiosity and apprehension.

Did he _dare_ to break the rules even more than he already had?

The answer found him as he caught sight of Sirius's plainly-eager face. He smiled.

"Outside i-it is," he relented. "J-just _be c-careful_! Y-you lot are the l-loud ones."

-----

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and nodded. "Yes, that's true. Anyway, follow me! There's a passage that I found - it goes down past that small ante chamber near the Great Hall..." Leaving the others with that limited amount of information, he started to run silently towards the Hall, wondering idly how long it would take the others to process what he'd just said, hurry the fuck up, and follow!

Eventually, Sirius skidded to a halt by the edge of the lake, and doubled up, panting. Eventually, he straightened up, and looked around. The night sky was clear and cloudless, the squillions of stars glittering brightly. Even the normally rippling surface of the Black Lake was clam and still, like an endless sheet of black silk. He grinned.

_Perfect._

_-----_

Remus, James and Peter caught up with Sirius in said order, Remus not even having broken a sweat. There had been a hairy moment in which they had almost been caught by one of the resident ghosts, but their quick sneaking had ensured their journey went unnoticed. Now all gathered by the lakeside, Remus' curiosity was piqued once again.

"Wh-what are we d-doing here?" he hissed quietly, even here afraid that they would be caught.

-----

Sirius grinned, and handed Remus a scroll of parchment, sealed with a black silk ribbon. He grinned as he pictured Remus' face when he opened it, and found only the elegantly written words:

_'Odihneasca Apa' _

And underneath, the instructions:

_'Oh-dyn-eyas-cha a-pah'_

To be spoken aloud, accompanied by a wide sweeping motion of the wand over a body of water/any aqueous substance.

_-----_

Remus raised a single eyebrow, looking up at Sirius in what could only be described as confusion. It was a rare occurrence indeed for him to be confused, and he hoped that his friends would conveniently forget this occasion, but he doubted it. Still, he actually decided to grab his wand from his cloak pocket and attempt to cast the spell.

"_Odihneasca Apa_!" he said, sweeping his wand across his body. Almost immediately, the surface of the lake grew even more still than it had been before as it iced over, shining beautifully in the light of the waning moon. It took no time at all for the water to be completely covered with a thick layer of ice for as far as the eye could see - and further.

Remus' face broke out into a broad grin at the sight, and he wasted no time in flinging his arms - burning shoulder and all - around his best friend. "Thank you!" he whispered, grasping Sirius so tightly that he worried for a moment that he would break his ribs.

-----

Sirius chuckled. "What, you think this is it? A lousy _spell_?! No, I can do better than that! Here." He reached into his pocket and drew out a charmed package, which automatically resized itself. He handed it awkwardly to Remus, hoping that the other boy wouldn't get all weird about the expensive-ness of the gift. He had told the truth - it WAS cheaper than the book. But well, that hadn't exactly been difficult... Mentally preparing himself to have the gift handed back, he stood very still, waiting to see Remus' response.

For inside the parcel was the best pair of leather, hand-crafted ice-skates that Sirius could find. The black leather was decorated near the tops with impressions of crescent moons and stars, and the lethal-sharp blades were made from a rare silvery-blue metal that looked as delicate as glass, but was in reality stronger than steel.

"I hope you like them..." Sirius mumbled uncertainly. _I really do..._

_-----_

Remus took the package carefully, his eyes widening as he saw the size of it. "S-Siri," he warned, hardly daring to begin his meticulous opening of it. He was sure that it would be something expensive, and although Sirius had said that it was not as expensive as his Christmas present, he vaguely wondered to himself whether he had been telling the truth.

Finally daring to carefully slit open the shining black paper and open the box within, it took all his willpower to not drop it in shock and surprise. The shining black leather, the glistening blades, the outlines of moons and stars... It was just too much to bear, and he clutched the box to him as he fell to his knees, tears leaking from his tightly shut eyes.

"Th-thank you, Sirius, thank y-you," he whispered over and over again, almost rocking backwards and forwards in his fit of grateful hysteria. He had never imagined loving anything as much as he loved his copy of _Hogwarts: A History_, but now he truly wondered. Would Sirius's generosity eventually drive him...

"Y-you're driving me _in-insane_," he cried, finally looking up at Sirius with tears shining in his eyes. "H-how can I _ever_ r-repay you?"

-----

Sirius grinned softly. "I knew you'd say something like this... It doesn't _need_ repaying, Remus - I gave you a _present_! That's what friends DO for each other you know? And look, it's not about money, or gold, or anything like that. It's about what it means. Does that make sense? I bought you ice-skates because you love skating. And I know you enjoyed it that one time. And now, you can enjoy it again. Do you see, Remmy? It's not about the skates. It's about the skating." With that lot off his chest, he grinned, transfigured his shoes, and shot out onto the ice, twirling in elegant circles.

James dashed for the lake too, but stacked it the second foot met ice.

He'd forgotten to change his shoes.

-----

Remus stayed on the ground for another few minutes, hugging his present as though it were a lifeline saving him from drowning. He eventually heard Peter mutter the incantation for both himself and James (who he assumed was flailing around on the ice, judging by the noises) and head off to join the other two, leaving Remus awaiting his tears to dry.

He was already trying to think of something for Sirius's birthdays and Christmases for the next four years, hoping that he would somehow find enough of them that he could afford. He dreaded to think how exactly he would find something that compared to the utter _beauty_ of what he currently held in his arms.

Eventually managing to stop crying, he carefully set about untying the laces on his well-worn trainers and sliding his feet into the surprisingly-soft skates. Unsurprisingly, they fitted him perfectly, and he ensured that the brand new laces crossed evenly before daring to stand. It took him only a few bounds to reach the beginnings of the ice, and he revelled in the sudden, inexplicable joy that rested upon him from the very second the blades scraped the frosty surface.

Perhaps it was his excellent sense of balance, perhaps it was his newly found confidence, and perhaps it was the skates, but Remus found himself unable to fall over. Letting out a loud howl of joyous laughter, he skidded and slid all across the ice whilst his eyes stayed closed, somehow staying on the ice and not crashing into anyone.

This... _this_ was real magic.

-----

Sirius grinned, and navigated his twirling until he was skating rings around Remus, criss-crossing the other boys path, but never once even coming close to a collision. When Remus started to do what could only be described as _howling_ with laughter, Sirius couldn't help but join in, his own barking laughter seeming slightly coarse in comparison to Remus' joy. He didn't dwell on it, though. There was too much to be admired - the rush of the skating, the brilliance of the starlight on the ice, the was James kept stacking it, and Remus, skating and skating, as though the parcel Sirius had given him had contained not ice-skates, but sheer wonder and bliss masquerading as a pair of skates.

High up in the night sky, in his Office, Albus Dumbledore stood by the window. He gazed thoughtfully down at the four boys for the longest time, before turning away, a half-smile on his lips, a twinkle in his eye. _Those boys... They shall surpass us all, even me, if I am not much mistaken..._


	20. Arguments

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**Arguments**

Remus was sat on his bed, his nose in his copy of _Hogwarts: A History_ whilst Sirius, James and Peter played Exploding Snap on James's bed. He preferred playing Wizard's Chess, the intellectual being that he was, but as it was only a two-player game (and due to the fact that he _always_ won) the others preferred the card game.

The past month had gone by in a blur, with the ice-skating incident having been constantly recalled as one of their best experiences so far. Peter and James had immediately sent off for presents and had dumped piles of chocolate on his bed a few days later, much to Remus' undying gratitude. So when James's birthday had swung by two days ago, they had thought that _nothing_ could compare to Remus'.

Oh, how wrong they were!

As James had been working his way through the numerous presents he had received, he came across a small, light package wrapped in simple brown paper, a note from his father written on it. James - as usual - ignored the note and tore open the paper, looking at the silvery thing that fell out of it in confusion. Only _then_ did he read his father's note, and his expression suddenly transformed from confusion to happiness to awe within a few minutes.

His father had sent him an Invisibility Cloak.

Now, Sirius and James were especially eager to test it out elsewhere than in the privacy of their dorm, but Remus had somehow managed to dissuade them from sneaking into the girl's dorms and breaking out to explore the castle. He doubted he could keep his authority up, for he had to leave every month, but...

Wait.

_'It's the full moon tonight!'_ he thought, jumping to his feet as though he had been stung by a rogue billywig. He grabbed his bookmark (nothing too exciting - just a scrap of spare parchment) and shoved it into his book, placing it on his bedside table before running to his trunk.

"R-right, guys, I have t-t-to visit my m-mother," he explained, grabbing his travelling cloak and throwing it around his shoulders. "I'll s-see you t-tomorrow morning."

And with that he turned and headed to the door, glancing anxiously at his watch as he went.

-----

Sirius looked at James, and grinned, clambering hurriedly to his feet. "Actually, Remus," he said gleefully, "we'll see you a bit sooner than that." James chuckled, and leapt up, throwing his Exploding Snap cards onto the bed.

"Yeah, you didn't think we'd let you go disappearing off without us, did you?"

"Especially now we have, erm, way and means of totally avoiding detention!" Interjected Sirius, his grin bordering on a smirk.

James tugged the Cloak out from under his pillow with a flourish, "Ta-da!"

The two boys beamed at Remus expectantly, James already half-invisible under the silvery material.

-----

Remus froze in his tracks as his friends' words sank into his mind. The Cloak, of course... They were expecting to accompany him to his non-existent carriage.

He could not let that happen.

"No," he said swiftly, turning on his heel to face them. "N-no, you c-c-can't. You h-have to st-st-stay here, it's n-not safe to b-be out after dark - Invisibility C-Cloak or not." He glanced at his watch again; time was ticking away slowly, and he had about forty minutes before he transformed. The aches were already beginning, and his heart was jumping. He needed to leave, and soon.

"P-put it away, J-James," he said. "I'll s-see you tomorrow."

-----

Sirius scowled, and motioned for James to stop hogging the Cloak. "Don't be silly, Remus. If we're Invisible, then nothing can get us! Teachers, or ghosts or otherwise! Look, we've been planning it ever since James' birthday - it's the perfect solution! I don't know why I didn't think of getting a Cloak like this in the first place!" James nodded, his head now bobbing around, seemingly unsupported.

"Yeah. Remus, nothing's gonna _happen_! It just means that we'll be able to keep you company, and get to do some proper exploring! Think of it - all the deserted corridors, the passageways, the classrooms, the _dungeons..._" He trailed off, eyes gleaming with excitement.

Sirius rolled his eyes, but it didn't quite hide the flicker of excitement that crossed his face. "Exactly. So come on, we're going to be late..."

-----

Remus was beginning to panic, now. It did not help that he was nervous about his transformation, as usual, but his heart now juddered even more at the thought of Sirius and James following him. He wrapped his arms tightly around his throbbing chest, breathing deeply as his windpipe burned from the warm air of the room.

"N-no!" he said, golden eyes wide. "No, p-please, d-d-don't follow me! It's n-not safe! J-just st-stay inside the c-castle if y-you're going to explore, b-but _d-d-don't_ come outside!" He was staring at them imploringly, unwilling to get angry. But he knew that if they did not back down soon, he would not be able to control his already on-edge emotions.

-----

Sirius sighed irritably. "Come _on_ Remus! We're going to be _invisible_! There's no way that _anything_ is going to happen to us! We'll be _fine_!"

James nodded, and said loudly, "We aren't _scared of the dark_ or anything! Why shouldn't we go outside?! It's not like there's anything really that dangerous out there anyway - Dumbledore wouldn't allow it!"

Sirius nodded firmly, and yanked at the Cloak - James was taking up so much of the material that so far only Sirius' left arm was invisible.

-----

Remus glanced from James to Sirius and back again, his eyes wide and fearful. "Sirius, _p-please_ stay here!" he begged, clutching himself even tighter. "I h-have to g-g-go down this p-path that b-b-borders an edge of the F-Forest, and M-M-Merlin only knows w-what's in there! I heard th-that someone s-smuggled a N-N-Nundu into th-the country, and the M-Ministry found it and r-r-released it into the F-F-Forest so it d-doesn't harm anyone. B-but wh-wh-what if it w-wanders out t-tonight and k-kills you? Y-you c-c-can't hide from a N-Nundu, Sirius!"

OK, so the Nundu was a complete fabrication, but his friends all knew that his father worked for the Ministry, and he hoped that this could sway them. After all, a transformed werewolf could be just as dangerous as a Nundu at times...

-----

Sirius blinked, and scrunched up his nose. "A Nundu?" He said sceptically. "You really think _Dumbledore_ would let a NUNDU loose in the grounds of a SCHOOL?! Merlin, Remus! You're supposed to be the smart one! Ow!" James had just elbowed Sirius a little to hard in the ribs.

"Sorry, but what the hell is a NUNDU? Sounds made up!" Sirius grinned reluctantly.

"No, it's real alright. A giant evil leopard whose breath is diseased. There's a documented case where the poison killed an entire village of African wizards." James gaped at him for a second, before deciding that no, Sirius wasn't making it up.

"Don't be dense, Remus!" He scoffed. "There's no way in HELL that something like that would be anywhere near here! The Ministry would most likely have killed it on sight - not let it loose at Hogwarts!"

-----

Remus panicked again, and that was what brought the wolf out. "Fine then!" he snapped angrily, his eyes flashing. "Even if there _isn't_ a Nundu, you're _not coming with me_!" He glared at his friends, his hands closing into fists as he let go of his chest. "You're staying here, and so help me, I'll take your _fucking_ Cloak with me if I have to!" He stormed over to James and yanked the cloak from his shoulders, the silvery material becoming visible again.

Then Remus kicked back in, as though he was brought to the surface as his suppressed, angry side swore. Perhaps that was indeed what brought the boy to his senses, for he was known for sticking to the rules. Still, he dropped the Cloak as if the material itself was _actually_ silver rather than the Demiguise hair that it really was, his face paling as the familiar nausea hit. His eyes switched from furious to terrified, and he clutched his throbbing head in his hands. "I-I'm s-s-sorry!" he cried out, backing away and shaking his head. "I'm s-sorry!" He looked up, eyes wide and pleading. "D-d-don't follow me!" he implored, before he turned and fled from the room.

Time was ticking...

-----

Sirius and James stared after their friend, completely bewildered. It was James who spoke first. "What the hell was _that_?!" Sirius blinked, and shrugged helplessly.

"I really have NO idea. I... i guess he just really, _really_ didn't want us to get eaten by a leopard..." James looked at him strangely, and started to laugh.

"Yeah that's most likely true! Anyway, seeing as how the NUNDU is out there, and we're safe and sound in our little castle..." He trailed off, and grinned. Sirius nodded instantly, picking up the Cloak and swinging it over their shoulders.

"Let's go explore!"

They left the dormitory, still laughing, and by the time they had successfully manoeuvred their invisible selves through the Gryffindor Common Room, all thoughts of Remus' strange behaviour were long since forgotten.

By the time the clock in the entrance hall had struck three, Sirius and James had decided that maybe an all-nighter of exploration and discovery was less fun that it sounded. For one thing, it was still only March, and the draughts that seemed to be creeping in through every CLOSED window, and from under every door were shockingly cold. For another, it was a lot scarier than either boy would ever admit, and they jumped at every creak, every strange noise that echoed loudly through the deserted corridors.

And of course, seeing as how they had never before had a chance to explore like this, they soon found themselves in some strange corridor - in other words, completely, and totally lost.

It was Sirius who realised this first. "Erm, James..." James nodded distractedly.

"...Yep."

"Do you have _any_ idea where we're going?"

The other boy cleared his throat and shrugged. "Nope."

"Any idea of how to get back?"

As expected, James replied once more with a simple, "Nope."

"Ah." Sirius stood still, and then suddenly, decisively, yanked off the Cloak and pulled out his wand. "Lumos!" James, who had also reappeared, looked around frantically, and tried to grab Sirius' now-glowing wand.

"Sirius! Put it out! Someone will see that!" Sirius just glared at him.

"I don't care, to be perfectly honest. It's ridiculously early in the morning, I'm tired, freezing cold, my feet have _died_ and I'm absolutely FAMISHED. Not to mention the fact that we are totally, hopelessly, completely LOST! So if you have a better idea, then I'd really LOVE to hear it!" James scowled back at him and just shrugged sulkily.

"Dunno." He mumbled. "But I just don't want ANOTHER detention! You know I just spent the last week helping Pince reorganize the Political History section in the library?! I've only just stopped smelling like DUST!" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Dust doesn't _smell_" he pointed out , before turning and looking down the corridor. A large painting of a bowl of fruit was shining softly in the light of Sirius' wand, and James let out a little whimper of longing.

"Dyou know," he whispered, "I would just KILL for a pear right now..." He reached out and stroked the pear in mock-longing, making Sirius laugh. The laugh soon faded, his smile replaced with a look of surprise as James let out a yelp and leapt backwards. The large green pear had _giggled_ before turning into a large green door handle. The two boys looked at each other. Eventually James spoke. "Well, I'm game if you are..."

Sirius grinned. "Well, we did want to explore, didn't we? And besides, it's a painting of _fruit_. Nothing hideous and scary and evil would hide behind a painting of _fruit_." James laughed.

"Yeah, that's a fair point. You wouldn't really expect, say, a _nundu_ to be lurking in the grapes, would you?" Sirius nodded and grasped the handle firmly. He inhaled slowly, and James started to beat out a drum roll on the stone wall.

Chuckling, Sirius flung the door open, and stared.

"Wow..." breathed James.

"Excellent." laughed Sirius. "We found the kitchens!"

They stared, awestruck, at the large, bright room, filled with House elves and the wondrous aroma of cakes and pie.

Eventually, one of the house elves noticed the presence of the two boys - but instead of scolding them, or calling for a professor, the elf simply squeaked, "Good evening, young sirs! Would you perhaps be in need of some hot chocolate? Maybe a late-night snack?" It was a pointless question, really, and an offer that James and Sirius were accepting before the poor elf had even finished speaking.

Consequently, it was well after five o'clock when the two boys once more found themselves in the dark and dreary hallway, their pockets full of cake, and their ears ringing with the clamouring chorus of goodbyes from the elves. The painting swung shut, the bright warm candlelight extinguished, and the corridor silent once more, save for the sound of James chewing.

"Righ' then," He announced thickly, through a mouthful of chocolate and banana muffin. "You reckon it's time we got back to bed?" Sirius agreed, and thanks to the House Elves earlier directions, they headed off to Gryffindor Tower, tired but perfectly happy.

Neither of them spared Remus so much as a single thought.


	21. Apologies and Adventure

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**Apologies and Adventure**

Remus finally emerged from the Hospital Wing a day and a half later than usual, his arm plastered and held in a sling. The moon two nights ago had been hard on the boy, for he had been riled up and angry following his argument with James and Sirius, and this time he had sustained a fracture to his radius and a rather horrible gash across his chest. The bandage was wrapped so tightly across his ribcage that he found it slightly difficult to breathe, but he could not dissuade Madam Pomfrey into loosening it.

As happy as he was to be free from Madam Pomfrey's endless fussing, he was not looking forward to seeing his friends again. That evening had been a bit of a blur, if he was honest, and he could not remember exactly what he had said or done, but he was pretty sure that he had sworn angrily at them before storming off. Now he had to apologize for something that he could not remember doing, and he was quite nervous about the entire ordeal.

So, it was just his luck that he bumped into Sirius as he rounded the corner of the corridor.

He fell to the floor rather elegantly, all things considered, but let loose a little whimper of pain as the gash across his chest throbbed. He clutched it lightly with his unbroken arm and looked up into James's somewhat surprised face, before sliding his gaze to Sirius. It was then that everything just bubbled out.

"I'm s-s-sorry that I-I got angry th-the other night, I d-didn't mean to y-yell at you, I w-w-was just anxious, and I d-d-didn't mean to sw-swear at you, I-I know it's h-h-horrible, and p-p-please forgive m-me!" he said very rapidly all in a single breath, sitting on the floor much like a child being told off by his parents.

-----

Sirius blinked. Remus had been talking so fast that he really had no idea what the other boy had just said. Upon spotting Remus' broken arm, however, he decided it didn't really matter. He reached out a hand, to help Remus to his feet, but before he could say anything, James interrupted with an exclamation of: "Remus! What the bloody hell happened to you!"

-----

Remus jumped as James almost shouted at him, much to his embarrassment. Having been expecting to be shouted at or asked about the other night, this question threw him slightly. "I t-tripped down some st-stairs," he said quietly, his previous embarrassment evident in his voice - which merely made the tale more believable, for Remus was normally very balanced and tripping would easily be a reason for embarrassment. "M-my shoelace w-w-was undone, and I f-fell down five st-steps. I w-would have been f-fine, but I l-landed awkwardly. N-nothing to w-worry about."

He shifted his gaze to Sirius's still-outstretched hand and grasped it softly, pulling himself gracefully to his feet. "Th-thanks," he said quietly, looking at the floor. Having realized that he had not received an answer to his previous question, he looked up again. "I'm s-s-sorry about W-Wednesday night," he repeated seriously. "I sh-shouldn't have t-t-taken my anxiousness out o-on you two."

-----

James just shrugged and waved a hand carelessly. "No harm done! We had a most productive night anyway, did lots of lovely discovering..." he trailed off, and turned suddenly to Sirius. "Sirius, I am an idiot. I left the Cloak on my bed! I'll be right back!" Sirius rolled his eyes as James dashed ungracefully away, arms flailing in his haste.

He smiled slightly at Remus, and, deciding on a friendly gesture that would cause the injured boy the least pain, patted his shoulder awkwardly. "It's all fine, Remus. We just didn't think... I mean, we didn't stop to think about where it was that you were going, and that was inconsiderate of us. I'm sorry."

James chose that moment to hurtle back round the corner, and announce cheerfully, "GOT IT!" at the top of his voice, waving the Cloak in the air like a banner. Sirius frowned irritably.

"Be more subtle, why don't you?" He mumbled, sure that Remus would hear - but that James, ever-oblivious, would not.

-----

Remus gave a small smile at Sirius's comment, watching James in restrained amusement. "So, you br-broke curfew, th-then?" he asked, slightly reproachfully. When James had the decency to blush slightly and try to talk Sirius and himself out of trouble, Remus just widened his smile. "I sh-should have known you w-w-would have got out t-to do something," he said, perhaps some fondness in his voice. "D-dare I ask wh-what you discovered?"

-----

Sirius grinned then. "Yeah - the kitchens!" James nodded, and instantly launched into a list of Reason Why The Kitchens Totally Rule, including the lifetime supply of banoffee pie, and the hot chocolate that left an aftertaste of sugary goodness for practically a whole _day_. Sirius poked him in the head, and yanked the Cloak out of his unresisting hand.

"Shh, James. Let Remus discover it for himself!" He turned back to Remus, and held out the Cloak. "We were on our way there now, to get some cake for Peter. It's his birthday tomorrow, only, well... We sort of forgot, so we thought that if we got him, say, a five-layer chocolate fudge cake with buttercream icing, then all would be forgiven, you know?" James chuckled.

"Well, cake is Peter's sole interest in life, so I reckon it's a pretty safe bet. You coming then, Remus?"

-----

Remus sighed heavily. "T-trust you two to _f-forget_ Peter's b-birthday," he lamented jokingly, thanking the fact that his yearly inheritance money had arrived before both James and Peter's birthdays. He had ordered Peter a box of Fizzing Whizzbees from the famous sweet shop in Hogsmeade, which had been delivered a few days previously.

"Still, p-perhaps a cake _w-will_ ensure your f-f-forgiveness. And as r-reluctant as I am to b-break the school rules... I d-d-don't suppose I have any ch-choice in the matter?" he queried, somehow knowing that his friends would forcibly drag him along if he refused to accompany them.

-----

Sirius laughed. "Well that's true enough. If you refused, we would most likely have had to kidnap you... Which, while undoubtedly providing us with hours of endless amusement, would probably have not been so much fun for you."

"In other words," grinned James, "It really is better to just string along willingly. Clever boy." He slipped easily under the cloak, and Sirius followed, holding up a corner for Remus.

"Let's go then! To the kitchens!"

-----

Remus glanced anxiously around the deserted corridor before ducking under the Cloak fairly reluctantly. "Sh-should you ever g-gain the opportunity to k-k-kidnap me, g-give me adequate advanced w-warning so th-that I can s-set aside some books t-to keep you fr-from driving me even m-m-more insane than y-you have already dr-driven me," he deadpanned in a whisper, pulling the corner of the Cloak from Sirius's hand and dropping it to the floor, ensuring it covered his tall frame. He looked up expectantly, unable to see any of the others outside the Cloak's invisible fabric.

-----

Sirius scrunched up his nose, and decided that mock-insulted would be the best way to play this. "Us? Driven you insane? The very NOTION is just ridiculous. I, for one, am surely most sane person you've ever had the privilege of meeting!" James, catching on, decided to join in.

"Yeah, Remus. We could never drive you insane! I mean, we're so... polite..."

"Well-behaved," added Sirius.

"Thoughtful..."

"Predictable..."

"Normal..."

"Sensible..." James actually shuddered in disgust when Sirius said that - as though being sensible were the least-desirable personality trait known to man.

"So in other words, the most sanest people you've ever met in your life, ever!" Summarized James, grinning form ear to ear.

-----

"I d-don't think it pr-pr-prudent f-for me to comment on the m-m-matter," Remus said dryly, flicking his fringe from his eyes impatiently. "N-now, if you t-two have _quite_ f-finished flattering yourselves, c-c-can we go? I d-don't want to b-be out for _t-too_ long." He - not knowing where the kitchens were located - could not take the initiative and lead the way, and grew slightly edgy about the time.

-----

Sirius started to steer them in the general direction of the kitchens, whilst James mumbled something scarcely audible about things like _sensible-ness_ being insulting, rather than flattering. Aside from James' mutterings, the corridors were generally silent, as it was only a few minutes until curfew, and most students had already returned to their dorms. In fact, by the time they reached the deserted Corridor of Food (as James had so imaginatively named it), they had seen only one other student, a flustered looking fourth year Gryffindor, who was legging it back to the Tower as though he were being chased by a stampede of Hippogriffs.

They stopped outside the painting of the fruit, and Sirius tugged off the Cloak, handing it to James, who stuffed it in his pocket. "Okay. Remus, tickle the pear," Sirius ordered, gesturing towards the fruit bowl.

-----

Remus looked at his friends quizzically, one tawny eyebrow raised. He did as Sirius asked, however, and tickled the pear lightly. After its giggle and transformation into the door handle, he swung the portrait open and clambered through the doorway.

The kitchens did, as James had previously elaborated, 'totally rule'. The ceilings were high and lit by hundreds of candles, just like the Great Hall. Five tables were laid out with pots and plates of the finest brass, currently empty, which corresponded to their locations in the Great Hall. House elves scurried from the giant oven to an even larger refrigerator, removing masses of food before hurrying to another table to prepare the dishes. One house elf caught sight of Remus, standing next to Sirius and James in awe, and bustled over to them.

"Good evening, sirs!" it squeaked, bowing towards them all. "Can we offer you a fresh hot chocolate?"

Remus, still observing the room with curiosity, merely nodded.

-----

Sirius grinned delightedly as a cup of hot chocolate was placed into his waiting hands, marshmallows still dissolving on the surface. He took a sip, and promptly spat it back out. "Ow!" James raised an eyebrow.

"You alright?" Sirius scowled.

"No." He answered shortly. "Burnt my tongue." He shoved the cup in the general direction of a nearby elf. "Here, you. Can I have another drink - preferably one that's less likely to singe off my tastebuds?" The elf bowed, and stammered an apology, looking horribly embarrassed. Sirius shook his head, and reached instead for a chocolate brownie. "So," he announced, once he had finished his mouthful. "What's the plan, then?"

James shrugged. "Dunno. The question is - chocolate, double chocolate, or chocolate fudge?"

-----

Remus accepted the mug of hot chocolate absentmindedly, but made certain to thank the elf who had given it to him. He frowned slightly at Sirius's considerably rude order to the house elves, but wisely opted to say nothing for now. He knew that Sirius hated to be criticised, but he decided (whilst nursing the delicious drink) that he would make sure to bring it up at a more appropriate time.

"D-double chocolate," he answered James. "P-P-Peter loves ch-chocolate almost as m-much as me, s-so it's a s-s-safe bet."

-----

Sirius nodded, and waved a house elf over. "We need a cake," he said, "a really, really big one. With layers. And chocolate. Lots of it." The House Elf bowed, and after handing Sirius his replacement hot chocolate, ushered them over to the actual preparation area.

"We will only be minutes, sirs, if you should be so kind as to wait..." Sirius nodded grandly.

"Yeah that'd be fine. Oh, and write 'Happy Birthday Peter' on it." The House Elf bowed again, and the kitchen was immediately filled with elves busily preparing the demanded cake.

James, however, had lost interest, and wandered back over the tables, where the House elves had begun to set up for breakfast. "Hey Sirius, Remus!" he called. "Get yourselves over here and look at this!" Sirius ambled over - and knew instantly what James was going to say.

"No way..." He said incredulously. "You don't think...?" James nodded.

"Yep, Sirius my friend, I surely do. And, whatsmore, what day is it tomorrow?!"

Sirius grinned. "April Fools."

-----

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose exasperatedly. "H-how did I kn-know that you would s-s-somehow manage to pr-prank people tomorrow?" he sighed, shaking his head. Realising that it was already too late to talk the pair out of their unspoken idea, he looked up. "If y-you're going to put st-stuff in the f-food, or wh-whatever it is y-you're planning, p-perhaps you should t-t-tell the house elves? I d-don't want them to be p-punished for your ac-actions."

He glanced back at the table where the elves were preparing the massive cake, and wondered exactly how they were going to get it back to the dorm. "And _d-d-don't_ do anything lethal!" he warned, turning back to his friends. "I d-don't know whether I w-w-want to b-be involved in th-this one, after th-the Hallowe'en catastrophe."

-----

James laughed. "Excellent. We have _permission_ and everything!" Sirius grinned too and turned to the House Elves.

"Hey, we were thinking it would be rather... Amusing to indulge the school in a little bit of Holiday Spirit, considering tomorrow is in fact April fools day, so if we, erm, make a few changes over here, then you won't tell on us, will you? I mean, you can't if we order you not to, right?" The house elves looked at one another, and eventually an Elf with ears that stuck straight out of the sides of his head hurried over.

"It would depend entirely, sirs, on the nature of the proposed prank. We elves is used to these kinds of games, and we has orders from Headmaster Dumbledore himself that no potions or alcohols are to be put in the food. It is for the safety of the students." Sirius nodded, and frowned. James sighed in disappointment, and began to drown his sorrows in jam tarts.

"Wait!" At the sound of Sirius' exclamation, James looked up, intrigued. "You said no potions! That doesn't include spells, does it?" The house elf shook his head, ears flapping, and Sirius grinned mischievously. "Well then, problem solved! We just get some of the really foul stuff, like... I don't know, burnt milk, or congealed... I don't know, nasty tasting, slimy things, and transfigure its appearance into Pumpkin Juice, and bacon and things! Would that work? Remus, would that work?!"

-----

"I th-thought I wasn't g-going to be involved, S-Siri?" Remus replied impassively, taking a sip of his drink as he sat at the duplicate Gryffindor table. "B-but yes, it's p-possible." He fell silent for a moment or two, flicking through pages of Transfiguration books in his mind. "P-perhaps _Verto Almus_ would w-work best," he suggested, deciding that this prank would be considerably safer if he suggested a spell rather than relying on Sirius and James to come up with their own, debatable one.

-----

James and Sirius looked at each other, and instantly, wordlessly decided that any spell of Remus' would be the best one to try. "Right," said Sirius. "It's all settled then. We'll use _Verto Almus,_, and end up with-"

"-with a table full of Slytherins choking on shitloads of scum-flavoured juice..." said James dreamily. His reverie was brought to a halt by the squeaky cough of a House Elf.

"Forgive the interruption, sirs, but it is against the Headmaster Dumbledore's wishes for us to allow any sort of nasty house fights. If you are to use this plan then it must be on all the food, all the tables. We is sorry, but its orders." Sirius nodded, and James sighed.

"Okay. Well. I really don't feel like starving until lunchtime so... Maybe just the bacon? And the sausages." Sirius nodded slowly.

"It does make sense to target one food group. I mean, we can't charm the toast, because then what will people eat if they're like, vegetarian or something?" Sirius sighed somewhat mournfully. "Though, it is depriving us of the best part of breakfast..." James looked at him oddly.

"You don't even _like_ bacon, Sirius." Sirius scowled at him.

"Who says? Anyway, I say we do it. I mean, it'll be worth it, right?"

-----

Remus watched this exchange silently, but grew slightly worried at the sudden reality of not having any meat to consume the next morning. This close to the full moon his body craved it like an addict craved their drug, and he did not relish the thought of being perpetually angry the next day. He did not think he could convince his friends to change what they would add the spell too, however, and so he reluctantly decided to stock up on food now.

Reaching for a plate of freshly-cooked sausages, he began to eat them in preparation for his withdrawal the next day. "Just d-don't you_'d-d-dare_ jinx the t-teachers' food!" he warned his friends, the seriousness in his voice leaving no room for argument. "I'll n-never help you w-with homework - or p-p-pranks - ever again i-i-if you do."

And on that bombshell, he ate another sausage nonchalantly.

-----

Sirius blinked at the sudden appearance of a plateful of freshly cooked sausages. "Hey!" he cried. "Nobody told me there were _sausages! _Oh, and Remus, while I have no doubt that Dumbledore would actually find it wildly funny - I mean, why else would he leave such a blatant loophole, and practically command the house elves to let us find it - I agree. Not the teachers." James laughed.

"That's just 'cos you're terrified that that weirdo Highgate will suddenly get bored of little girls, and come and _find_ you if you make him eat curried-egg flavoured porridge, or something." Sirius scowled, but decided to not even dignify that with a response.

It took a good two hours before all the charms were in place, and they'd managed to arrange a time and place for the House Elves to deliver Peter's cake. (Namely, six o'clock tomorrow morning, and the middle of their dormitory.) However, they were eventually ready to leave, James scrabbling around for the cloak, the elves chorusing their goodbyes. The painting finally fell shut, and James swung the Cloak over his shoulders, Sirius following. "Well, back to the Dorm then?"

-----

"O-of course not, J-James," Remus whispered sarcastically, once again ensuring that he was hidden by the Cloak. He was now pleasantly full with meat, and he only hoped that the absence of them tomorrow morning would not make him... disagreeable, to say the least. Still, he gave his friends a little push to encourage them to move, rather worried about the lateness of the hour - it was nearing midnight, and he desperately wanted to sleep. "C-come on, l-let's go."

-----

Sirius allowed himself to be pushed in the direction of the Dorms, and had just remembered about the Transfiguration essay he had yet to complete, and was composing the introductory paragraph in his head, when he heard a noise. He flung out an arm, bringing them all to a dead stop. He promptly elbowed James in the side before he could do anything stupid like say Why Are We Stopping in a really loud voice. "Footsteps." James poked him in the side, as though to say Nope, Sirius' Imagination Gone Mental, but Sirius was sure...

Yes. There. The slight tap of leather boot on stone.

Someone was coming.

He moved backwards, forcing James and Remus to comply unless they wanted to become visible again, and flattened himself against the wall. Whoever is was - and judging by the heavy footfalls, it was a full grown man - was coming this way...

-----

Remus was squashed uncomfortably against the wall, Sirius on one side and James on the other. James was pressed against his plastered arm, and though he sent the werewolf an apologetic look he did not move in fear of being heard. As painful as it was, Remus considered this a wise move.

Moments later, the silhouette of a man strode lightly around the corner. It was impossible to see who it was in the darkness, but Remus knew who it was immediately; the sickly smell gave it away.

Professor Highgate was once again on the prowl.

He twisted his head slowly until his mouth was directly at Sirius's ear before whispering, almost inaudibly, "Highgate."

-----

Sirius' face was scrunched up in disgust. "I _know_!" He hissed back, face pale. _I..._

How do I know that?

How the HELL do I know that?!

And what... Oh Merlin...

What is that SMELL?!

"Eurgh!" It was really more like a grunt of disgust than an actual word, and somehow it escaped his lips without his meaning it to. But, by Merlin, the man smelt foul.

James frowned. "What?" He mouthed but Sirius couldn't bring himself to open his mouth to answer, and instead just nauseously shook his head. Eventually, after Highgate had passed, and was creeping away, he managed to croak,

"Couldn't you _smell_ that?!"

James looked at him weirdly. "No... What was it?!"

Sirius swallowed thickly, and stammered, "I... I'm not sure. It was like... Like..." He trailed off, as the realisation hit him. "Like death." He whispered, his knees starting to give way.

-----

Remus had held his breath as Highgate had walked past, not only afraid of being discovered, but because the smell was overpowering. He hardly moved until Highgate was out of sight, when he heard Sirius talking about the smell. It was then that he smelt Sirius's hormone levels change, and he immediately reached out an arm in order to stop him from collapsing.

"H-he's up to s-something," he said needlessly. "N-now we just h-h-have to prove it, and y-you'll be innocent." The stench of blood and death hung in the corridor still, making him feel rather ill. "D-do you th-think we could go? The sm-sm-smell..."

-----

Sirius had gone rather green, and suddenly, suddenly, being squashed under the cloak next to the two others was stifling, and he broke out into the corridor, sweating slightly. Without saying a word, and breathing through his mouth, he staggered hurriedly away from the corridor, and into a deserted classroom. Once inside, he plonked himself down on a desk, drawing great long breaths of clean, cool (albeit slightly musty) air.

-----

Remus wasted little time in following him, leaving a rather puzzled James alone under the Cloak. His nose stung from the Dark Magic that Highgate had left hanging in the air, but the dusty room offered some reprieve from it. He said nothing for a while, not until James had found his way into the room and threw off the Cloak.

"What the hell's _wrong_ with you two?" he asked, confusion evident in his tone.

Remus looked up at him, holding his hazel gaze. "We h-have to follow h-him another night," he said decisively. "He's b-behind _everything_, I'm s-sure of it, and we h-h-have to catch him."

-----

Sirius nodded vaguely, and cleared his throat as though he were going to say something - but instead, simply sat in silence, wondering what the hell was supposed to say. James broke the silence for him. "Seriously? Weird smells, footsteps you _can't even hear_ and death?! What the fuck, guys!" Sirius blinked tiredly at James.

"It's more like why the hell can't _you_ hear and smell, you moron!" He snapped unkindly. "Don't yell at us just because you're so... so... DEFECTIVE." James glared back at him, but just shook his head tiredly.

"I'm too tired for this. Let's just go back to bed, yeah?" Sirius sighed and nodded, and stood up slowly, moving once more under the Cloak.

"Ready to go, Remus?" he asked softly, holding up the edge of the Cloak.

-----

Remus rubbed his face wearily before standing, wincing slightly as he felt the gash on his chest shift. "Y-yeah," he said quietly, before ducking under the Cloak slowly. "J-just... don't hurry, a-alright? My arm h-hurts." Then, blinking rapidly to try and keep awake, he and his friends set off slowly to Gryffindor Tower, Remus keeping his ears alert for any sounds of Highgate's return.

The journey passed without further incident, thankfully, and by the time they reached the dorm Remus did not even have the energy to undress. He collapsed on his bed wearily, his eyes heavy, and was asleep within moments. He hoped that the arrival of the house elves and Peter's cake would not disturb him...

-----

Sirius tumbled into bed, his mind still blurred with confusion and fear. _What the hell happened tonight? Why couldn't James smell that... That...._

What if there's something wrong with him?!

But what WAS it anyway?

What the hell is Highgate's game?!

And how are we supposed to catch him?!

Eventually, the hundreds of questions still whirling through his head, Sirius fell into a fitful, discontented sleep, plagued with dreams of darkened corridors, the smell of blood, and house elves peering at him from shady corners, their eyes green and glowing, following his every move.


	22. A Reluctant Escape

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

**A Reluctant Escape**

Remus was sitting in the Great Hall, eating dinner rather absentmindedly. His mind was distracted from eating; it was the full moon tonight, and after the unprecedented disaster of the last one, he was trying to think of reasons why his friends could not accompany him. He could hardly bring himself to eat the plate of meat before him, despite the fact that he was hungry.

The wolf was restless inside him, eager to make him snap, but Remus was somehow managing to restrain it. Peter, who was sitting next to him, seemed none the wiser about Remus' worried expression, and James seemed not to have noticed either. He did not blame them, however; he tried his best to hide his feelings, even now. He glanced at his watch nervously and tried to come up with another excuse. He had one hour left, and it was slowly running out.

-----

Sirius chewed a green bean slowly, his face wrinkled into an expression that just screamed disgust. Eventually he swallowed, and shoved the rest of his beans to one side of his plate, staring at them darkly. "I really hate vegetables." He muttered sullenly. "Especially beans." James chuckled, used to this sort of announcement by now.

"Whatever you say, Black." The _Shut Up And Eat Your Goddamn Dinner I'm Trying To Scheme Here_ went unsaid, but Sirius got the message, and helped himself to more shepherd's pie.

"So." A pause, in which he took a swig of pumpkin juice, and Peter burped loudly. James was craning his neck, trying (and failing) to look inconspicuously over at the Slytherin's table. "What's the greasy bastard done this time, James?" James snorted, turned back to face his dinner, and stabbed maliciously at a potato.

"It's more like what HASN'T he done! It's like he's TRYING to get me into trouble! And not just, pranking kinds of trouble, like emptying ink in my bag, or... I dunno, charming my hair purple - it's proper out of order shit!" Sirius nodded and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I do know, James." _I was there, moron._

"Yeah," whined James, "So you know exactly what I mean! He actually gets TEACHERS involved, Sirius! This isn't a childhood rivalry, this is WAR! And so far, he's winning by a total of three points!"

This was serious business. Sirius frowned. "How the hell did you calculate that one?!" It was James' turn to be exasperated.

"Well because of the one in Potions. With the pickled toads." Sirius shuddered.

"Merlin, that one. What's that worth - two?" James shook his head sadly.

"Nah, there were pickled animal insides on skin. That's at least a three." Sirius sighed.

"Right. So, he's ahead, and it's now a matter of Gryffindor pride that we pull off a prank that amounts to at least four points." James nodded, and Sirius continued. "And for it to be a four, it has to be malodorous, slimy, embarrassing - and will most likely get us in a whole heap of trouble, yes?" James nodded again, and went back to spearing his potatoes. Sirius' pie fared no better.

-----

Remus sighed as he caught Sirius and James's discussion, and he glanced up. "C-come on, guys, you've g-got to let this g-go. If y-you prank Snape again, h-h-he'll just keep on pr-pranking you, and it w-won't end." Deciding that he needed to eat, he too placed some shepherd's pie on his plate. "Plus, if y-you keep antagonising him, h-he'll just find m-more reasons to turn y-you in and get us into t-trouble." He took a meat-filled bite of his pie as he glanced from Sirius to James and back again. "C-can't you just l-leave him alone?"

-----

Sirius and James just gaped at him. "Never." Said James firmly, and turned back to his dinner. Sirius, however, realised it would take more than a flat-out refusal to make Remus see the argument from their point of view.

"It's not about getting into trouble, Remus. It's not even about getting at that git either, really. It's a matter of pride. We aren't even being immature, Remus. Grown ups do this to - at least, pure-blooded ones do at any rate. If someone makes an offence against you, you can't just defend and move on, you have to counter it, and fight back! Otherwise you'll be seen as the weaker wizard, and then they're free to make patronizing, snide remarks every time they see you, and generally be snobby, judging, arrogant bastards! It's a matter of pride," he repeated.

He could tell his face was slightly pink, but then, this was what he was raised to believe, and be damned if he was going to let some greasy haired Slytherin boy beat him at ANYTHING, let alone a prank war.

James blinked, but didn't miss a beat, and leaned over Sirius to shoot Remus a comforting smile. "It's the Black Way, Remus. Highly competitive, that lot. Never like to be beaten at anything, they don't. That's why our Sirius is always top of the class bar you - or the Slytherin Git, and guaranteed, next year he'll be a Quidditch fiend. As it is, it's both really easy, and really amusing to use it to my advantage in this whole Pranking thing. Amazing, really."

The fact that Sirius was taking this whole thing way more seriously than James had actually realised, and that that whole last speech was a load of nonsense was left unsaid, but not unnoticed, and Sirius blushed, feeling suddenly a bit ridiculous.

-----

Remus sighed once again, glancing at the Slytherin table as he did so. Snape was not difficult to spot; he was sat next to a tall, white-blonde older boy (Malfoy, he vaguely recalled), wearing robes that - though shabby - looked brand new next to Remus'. The boy was unmistakable, for his hair was _always_ greasy. OK, so Remus did not particularly _like_ Snape - he was more tolerant towards him than Sirius and James, but Snape was rather arrogant about the fact that he was better than Remus at Potions - but he, having previously been a victim of the Dynamic Duo's pranks, did not like his friend's actions either.

Deciding that it was a hopeless case to try and convince his friends to _stop_ the pranking, he decided to try and do _something_. "W-well, if he's 'ahead' by th-th-three, why not j-just get equal? Th-then no one's at fault."

-----

Sirius totally hated it when people other than him won arguments. He really, really did. But, seeing as how Remus was making total and perfect sense, he just ignored him, and prepared to sulk for the rest of his life - or until the end of dinner at least.

Unexpectedly, however, his sulking was cut short by the arrival of an owl. It fluttered across the Great Hall, and came to rest at Dumbledore's place. Dumbledore's empty place. McGonagall hurriedly took the owl outside, but Sirius wasn't alone in noticing the Headmaster's previously inconspicuously empty seat.

"Hey guys! Where do you reckon Dumbledore is?!" James' eyes lit up, as though he could almost taste a conspiracy in the air.

"Ahh, Sirius, my friend! The real question is, who's writing to him that would think to send the owl here?! At dinner! It must be proper urgent!" Sirius nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah, that's true, but maybe it's a double bluff! Maybe Dumbledore's been kidnapped, and then-"

"Maybe it's a letter from the Ministry?" Piped up Peter, hopefully. James and Sirius visibly wilted.

"Probably," muttered James glumly, and Sirius just shook his head in despair.

-----

Remus panicked again at the sight of Professor Dumbledore's empty seat; he had subconsciously been planning to claim to be going to see Dumbledore for an undisclosed reason in order to escape his over-protective friends. Now that the Headmaster was... well, _not here_, he needed another excuse, and fast.

The clock in the Entrance Hall struck six thirty, and Remus made a snap decision.

"R-right," he said quickly, twisting around on the bench, "I-I'm going to v-v-visit my mother. Enjoy the r-rest of the evening, s-s-see you tomorrow morning!" And with a final, false grin, the werewolf jumped to his feet and ran from the Hall, leaving Peter to finish his hardly-eaten food.

As much as he hated having to run from them like this, he would rather this than risk them discovering the truth.

-----

Sirius leapt to his feet, but it was too late. "Damn you, Remus!" He yelled after his friend's retreating back. "You can't escape us forever," he mumbled sulkily, plopping himself back down onto the bench, and resigning himself to another long evening of Snap. (James was a hopeless case when it came to chess. A seriously hopeless case.)


	23. The Return of Loneliness

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Castle of Destiny – 1971**

Remus stood sullenly outside the History of Magic classroom, his bandaged back to the wall as he waited for the lesson to start. His reluctant escape from his friends on the night of the full moon, the previous Friday evening, had ended in utter disaster; Sirius, James and Peter had not been best pleased with his reaction, and ever since his return on Saturday midmorning they had spoken not a word to him. It was just like before they had been friends, back at the beginning of the year. Thankfully, they had not started to prank him like they did Snape, but he was not sure if he preferred being ignored or pranked...

The silence had been bothering him, to say the least. His friends... his friends were _everything_ to him. They were his family, his life almost. And to have them ignore him like they ignored oh, so many others was like three blows to the heart. But no matter what he said to them - be it greeting, question, or another - they just would not answer him. It was as though they had torn off one of his arms, for he could not function properly without them.

He did not think they realised that, and _that_ was what hurt the most.

-----

Sirius was in a very, very, very bad mood, and had been ever since Friday. _Who the hell does Remus think he is?!_ He thought grumpily, having spotted a familiar mop of sandy hair in the mass of students waiting outside the History classroom. _I mean, if he didn't want us to be friends with him, then he could just be HONEST. All I wanted to do was keep him company. Be there for him. I thought... I thought this was what friends DID for each other - comforted them when they were unhappy. I was just trying to be there, but no! That's not acceptable for Mr. Remus Lupin..._ He sighed, and wandered into the classroom, taking a seat next to James, who was glaring at Remus (as he had been all weekend). Sirius guessed that the Potters had equal views on friendship.

As in, if you got rejected once, don't bare your heart for a second blow.

-----

Remus lingered outside the classroom for a few extra seconds, half-heartedly debating whether to skip the class altogether... but he knew that he would not. He had found no comfort in doing so before, so he would not sink to that level again. Taking a deep, silent breath to steel himself, he limped half defiantly, half dejectedly into the classroom. Raising his golden eyes to glance around the room, he noticed the ancient Professor Binns looking at him in slight confusion and James's cold hazel eyes fixed upon him in a glare.

Taking another sigh, he could hardly bear to limp his way to the back of the room to sit as close to his friends as he dared, but he did so. He, at least, was trying to rekindle the relationships with the trio, even if they ignored him. He sat at the desk in the back corner, his parchment and quill out in a moment. Although he was sat next to Sirius - only an empty desk separated them - he studiously ignored them as he began to take Binns's notes.

He only wondered if any of them would notice the soft tremors of his hand as he did so.

-----

Sirius sighed inwardly as he noticed Remus' slight shaking. _What the hell's his problem now?!_ he thought irritatedly - but it lacked any real malice. He tried desperately to focus on Binns, instead of this sudden, unexpectedly tangled surge of guilt and longing that had sprung forwards upon him noticed Remus' dejected form, but it didn't work.

_Remus, Remus. Why didn't you just EXPLAIN what the problem was! I... This isn't fair! It's not my fault! You walked out on us first! I'm still mad at you!_

And, truthfully, he was. Remus' actions had hurt - had made him feel like this had all been some scheme. That Remus was friends with Sirius because he simply had no one else to be friends WITH. But, still...

_If that's all it was... A friendship for the sake of a friendship...___

_I shouldn't miss him this much!_

Another sigh, and Sirius slumped down to rest his head on his books, his previously Black mood turning much more grey and dreary, as he wallowed in regret, the sound of Binn's droning voice lulling him off to sleep.

-----

Remus took notes for an hour of the double, breaking only at the bell to stretch his cramped fingers. Professor Binns, as usual, ignored the sound and kept up his monotonous drone; most of the students briefly awoke at the clanging, but Binns's voice soon sent them back off into the land of semi-awareness. Remus was one of the very few people who could withstand the drone, so he had previously shared his notes with his friends... now, he wondered if he would. If they were not talking to him, after all...

From the other side of Sirius, James gave a loud snore. Remus could not help but give a small smile - James could sleep standing up in the middle of an earthquake and not be woken up, and the snore reminded Remus of how Sirius and Peter had used to tease him mercilessly for it. The smile faded, however, as he recalled once again that they were no longer friends. He paused his writing for a brief moment to rub his cheek wearily, trying to stop his impending tears before he returned quill to parchment in his typical, neat way

-----

Sirius gave a start, looking up wildly at the sound of the bell. However, he flopped back to his desk almost instantly, his eyes drifting shut...

James let out a huge, grunting snore, and Sirius fell out of his chair in shock. He stared dazedly up at the ceiling for a minute, only hauling himself back into his seat when a red-headed Gryffindor threw a piece of parchment at him. _Prefect-in-the-making,_ Sirius thought grumpily, propping his chin on his hands in a desperate attempt not to drift off to sleep again.

It was a futile effort. His eyes soon closed, and he fell forwards - only to bang his head on his desk, and be as awake as ever - except now he had a headache too. He let out a brief snarl of frustration, and picked up his quill, scribbling angrily at his parchment until it tore.

Five minutes went by, and the anger had drained away, back to numb boredom. He doodled idly, stars and hippogriffs spiraling across his parchment, only stopping when he realised his random scribblings had formed a word.

"Remus." He muttered under his breath, and frowned. He sat still, indecisive, for a further five minutes, before his pride was squashed under a sudden, unexpected burst of determination to get his friend back, and he started to write.

_Remus,___

_Why didn't you just tell us why you didn't want us to come? Are we not good enough for you or something?!___

_I thought we were supposed to be__best__friends.___

_Sirius._

He picked up his wand, and sent the parchment flying sideways, slipping over Remus' page of impeccable notes

-----

Remus started as a piece of parchment suddenly appeared over his own, hiding his notes on the 1784 Goblin Rebellion as though desperate to be read. He blinked somewhat owlishly as he read Sirius's accusing note, his heart aching as he realised he must spin yet another lie. Lies upon lies upon lies, like a deadly spider cobweb of deception that clouded his previous friendship with the three boys.

He glanced up at Professor Binns, wondering if by some miracle that he had noticed the movement of the parchment across the empty desk between him and Sirius, but he continued with his monotonous account of the rebellion. Keeping his ears alert so that he could copy up the notes from the memorised lesson later that evening, he quickly penned a reply to Sirius.

_Siri_ he began, before deciding the informal name could no longer apply. He reluctantly added the 'us', the two letters seeming out of place and noticeably written separately.

_Sirius,___

_How, after the time we've been friends, after our previous misunderstandings, after everything that's happened to us, can you even begin to think that you three aren't good enough for me? It's_I_who am not good enough for_you. You_accepted me into your group, _you_cared for me how... well, how I never have been before outside my family,_you_made this castle feel like home.___

_I made a mistake, Sirius. It's been happening ever more often since I've become friends with you, but I can't seem to bring myself to care for many of them._This_one, though... therein lies my problem.___

_After the unprecedented disaster of last month's trip, I could not risk myself losing my temper again. How could I face you a second time and beg for forgiveness? I couldn't. I had no choice but to run away, if only to guard my emotions and shield you from my rare, angry words. I'm sorry for doing so, but how could I allow myself to shout again and possibly tear our friendship beyond repair? I had hoped that my course of action would present me with a more favourable outcome, but it was not to be.___

_I can't tell you why you can't accompany me outside the castle, for it is terribly complicated for me to explain. Just believe me that it's a very good reason. I know it will be difficult, but... please try.___

_R.L._

And with that, he carefully returned the parchment to Sirius's desk, watching its whirling motions in the air before glancing away.

-----

Sirius read the note slowly, his face scrunched up in confusion. _Something... There's something strange about this Lupin kid..._ He swallowed thickly. _I've thought it before. But then... Well, there's stuff I don't tell him! Stuff I won't ever tell him, about my family, about myself... I shouldn't expect him to tell me everything either. We've not even been friends a year! It was... presumptuous of me, to think otherwise._

He sighed, and skimmed the letter again, before scribbling out the two obviously added letters at the end of his nickname. At the foot of the page, he scrawled,

_Remmy, you're a twat. You should've just said we were crowding you, and that it was none of our goddamn business.___

_I guess I forget that we've only known each other for less that a year, and I overstepped boundaries I didn't know we had.___

_Friends?___

_Siri_

_-----_

Remus read the reply thoughtfully, his eyes somehow softening more than they were normally. _'He understands,'_ he thought joyously, but beneath that was sadness. Sadness that he could never tell the truth to his closest friends in the entire world.

And yet... Sirius accepted that. Perhaps begrudgingly, but acceptance nonetheless.

He reloaded his quill delicately before replying, his quill scratching softly; his memory of the lesson would sound like a scratched record - still listenable, but damaged.

_You never stopped being my friend, Sirius. Even when we fought back on Valentine's Day. If we can get through that, I sometimes wonder… can we get through _anything?_ Just... just let me keep this secret. Nothing more than that - just this one - and I can cope.___

_Remus_

_-----_

Sirius glanced over at Remus, and smiled hesitantly, before repying, his quill splattering navy blue ink across the parchment in his haste.

_You can keep all the secrets you want to. Just... If you ever want to share them, I reckon I'm a pretty trustworthy secret-keeper, okay?___

_Oh, and now we're friends again, does this mean I can still borrow your notes?!_

_-----_

Remus laughed quietly at Sirius's plea. All the tension in him seemed to ebb away, then, like the waves dissipating against a shore, and his trembling stopped. Everything was right in the world, now that he and Sirius were friends again.

_If you must, Siri._

And although he did not appear to acknowledge Sirius's first comment, Remus's mind plucked it from the parchment, wrapped it in gold, and stowed it deep within himself.

_'I won't forget, Siri. I won't.'_


	24. Revision

**Disclaimer:** Characters owned by J K Rowling.

**Summary:**

**Castle of Destiny - 1971**

'**Revision'**

It was mid-May, and the four Gryffindor boys were sitting, sprawled, in the Common room revising for their end of term examinations. Peter was trying to memorise a list of plants for Herbology - though, as Sirius whispered to James, the subject he should be REALLY worried about was Transfiguration. Even when transfiguring a match into a needle, it would still light on fire if you struck it hard enough.

James was idly charming his quill different colours, and making it scrawl rude words on the cover of his History of Magic textbook, while Sirius scribbled manically on a piece of parchment, the both of them whispering, their faces solemn with concentration.

Every few minutes, Sirius would glance up at Remus, checking that the other boy still had his eyes focused on his own revision. It really wouldn't do for him to see what they were up to, after all...

-----

Remus was scanning his Charms textbook, eyes skimming across the pages but hardly reading the words. He did not need to read the book, after all, for it was already in his head. But he did not consider it wise to claim an eidetic memory, so he put on the charade of revision to encourage his troublesome friends to revise. Peter seemed to be getting on surprisingly well, considering his poor standard compared to his friends, but Remus had to say that he agreed with Sirius's whispered remark to James; Peter should have been focusing on Transfiguration, not Herbology. Herbology was already Peter's best subject, so why waste the effort?

Sirius and James, though seeming to be reading through their copied History of Magic notes, were doing a lot more muttering than was perhaps appropriate for such a dull subject. Remus's exceptionally sharp hearing was, surprisingly, not good enough to pick up the subject of their discussion, for their tones were low and smothered by the other noise of the Common Room.

And though Remus was content to leave them to their planning, he could not ignore the lump of worry that settled in the pit of his stomach.

"D-dare I ask what you t-two are up to?" he asked in a low tone, having stood and walked behind James without a sound and without the notice of the scruffy-haired boy.

-----

James let out a very un-manly shriek, and toppled sideways out of his chair. Sirius, sensing the need for a distraction, dived forwards, and hugged Remus with all his strength. Fortunately, James took the hint, and began grabbing handfuls of parchment, and stuffing them down the front of his robes.

Unfortunately, Sirius underestimated how surprising it is to have a twelve-year-old boy launch himself at you - and consequently, they both ended up on the floor. Sirius grinned down at Remus, and poked him playfully in the forehead.

"Alright, Remus! Thought you were busy revising!" James cleared his throat, and Sirius scrambled up, still grinning innocently.

-----

Remus massaged his bruised ribs as Sirius removed himself from his personal space, slightly worried about the fact that even if a hug ended with him on the floor he now considered it normal. Sprawled awkwardly over the floor, he got to his feet with oxymoronic grace before carefully, slowly, deliberately pulling the sleeves of his red jumper back down to the level he preferred them at (past his wrists and halfway down his hand, so that if any... _incidents_ like the one a few seconds ago took place, they were unlikely to raise high enough to reveal his scars).

"I w-was, until you two c-c-caught my attention," he replied accusingly, golden eyes darting from James to Sirius and back again. "_D-don't_ assume your d-distraction worked, Sirius," he continued, the fond nickname being ignored for the moment. "It merely c-caused me to wonder j-j-just how illegal this new p-prank is going to be. Now, w-will one of you explain, or w-will I be forced to d-discover it myself?"

-----

Sirius and James looked at each other, their innocent grins sliding off their faces to be replaced with an expression that can only be described as 'Guilty As Hell'. Eventually, James coughed, and began to fish various pieces of parchment, covered in arrows and names and what looked like a map, out of his robes. Sirius flicked through them, shuffled them into order, and motioned for Remus to sit down.

"Okay. Potter and Black are proud to present..."

"Operation Redhead!" James announced proudly. Sirius scowled, and punched him in the arm.

"Why do you ALWAYS give them such pathetic names!" he whined. "And I thought we agreed that I could tell him the Plan!" James shook his head and grinned.

"Yeah but you'd just overplay it, and then he'd go all Mr. Future-Prefect on us, and we wouldn't stand a chance!" Sirius deepened his glare, and James fell silent.

"Whatever," muttered Sirius sullenly. "Remmy, if we tell you our Grand Master Plan, will you swear not to tell? I mean, it's only _slightly _illegal, and really, no one will be in any _real_ danger, and it's all for a good cause! So, before you know the details... Are you in?" He held out the hand that wasn't holding the 'Grand Master Plan', and waited.

-----

Remus raised one eyebrow curiously, but did not take Sirius's hand just then. Instead, he placed both of his own in the pockets of his faded jeans, observing his two friends with the razor-sharp look of an authoritative figure. This so-called 'Grand Master Plan' struck both intrigue and worry in his mind, and he wondered just what was so... he hated to say 'illegal', but he was sure that it was, that he was to be sworn to secrecy. And the advance reassurance of 'no real danger' only served to bring a bitter taste to his mouth. But the intrigue... oh, how curious he was!

Eventually, after a number of long seconds of silence from Remus, he shook Sirius's hand. "J-just remember, Sirius, J-James, that if I c-consider this _t-t-too_ over the top and i-illegal, I _will_ tell someone." He let go of Sirius's hand and returned it to his pocket, his eyes never wavering from the faces of his troublesome friends.

-----

Sirius laughed, and James clapped Remus on the shoulder reassuringly. "Nah, it's nothing too terrible. We draw the line at murder!" Sirius laughed, and spread the parchment out on the table, plonking himself back into his armchair.

"Right. Well, we've drawn up a map of the third floor - that's where he goes, most nights, and see, we've colour coded the different corridors to show which times and days he's there, and we've got a timetable here, and basically we've narrowed down the choice of bait to three different girls, but James wants the redhead, so- OW!" James had slapped him on the back of the head, and was now rolling his eyes, and grinning ever so smugly.

"Sirius, you moron, tell him what the hell you're talking about! Poor boy doesn't have a hope in hell of understanding that lot!" Sirius blinked, and grinned as he realised he hadn't actually said what the 'Plan' was for. He leaned forwards, and whispered conspiratorially,

"We're going to catch Highgate." James let out a cheer, and started doing a Muggle war dance around the table, successfully distracting the rest of the Common Room, leaving Sirius able to elaborate without anyone overhearing.

"We've been following him for weeks now, noting down his movements, his timings, his habits, his routine, his... _tastes_, and we think we've got it. We're going to send the redhead a letter from me, telling her to meet me in the third floor corridor - specific place and time, all planned to coincide with Highgate's nightly wanderings. Then, we get to be first hand witnesses when something happens! And I know they won't take our word for it, so what we're going to do is collect the memory from either mine or James' head - probably James', because I'm better at that sort of spell - and then we'll anonymously owl it to Dumbledore! Highgate won't even know it was us! It's perfect!" He sat back, eyes glowing with pride and excitement.

It certainly was a 'Grand Master Plan', and _surely_, Sirius thought, _nothing could possibly go wrong!_

-----

Remus's other eyebrow had joined its partner in his hairline, and he finally removed his hands from his pockets. "So, l-let me see if I've un-nderstood this correctly," he said. "One, y-you're planning on c-c-catching Highgate at whatever h-he's been doing. T-two, you'll be using _L-Lily Evans_," for she was the only auburn-haired First Year (female) in Gryffindor, "as _b-bait_ to lure him into d-doing Merlin only knows wh-what to her. Three, y-you then assume that P-Professor Dumbledore will _n-not_ guess that y-you will have sent h-him the memory?"

At James's eager nod, Remus sighed heavily and collapsed in the vacant chair left by the dancing boy. "Th-there are _so many_ things th-that could go wr-wrong with this plan," he said quietly. "A-are you really able t-to live with yourselves if, b-by some h-h-horrible accident, Lily Evans is _k-killed_ by Highgate as so m-many almost are?"

-----

Sirius blinked. James frowned. "Erm..." There was a long, awkward silence. Eventually, Sirius made a noise like a strangled cat, and waved his hand dissmissively. "Oh, don't be such a pessimist, Remus! He's obviously trying _not_ to kill them - probably because he knows that would earn him a one-way ticket to Azkaban! As it is, he'll be there for a while, but not _life_. He won't kill her. I'm sure of it."

-----

Remus was not so sure, especially about using a girl that they never associated with as bait, but he could not disagree that the plan - if it worked - was sound. After an endless minute of silence, he eventually let out a long, silent sigh. "I c-can't say it won't b-be dangerous, but it c-could work if w-we're lucky," he finally said, sitting back in his chair. "B-but _I'll_ accompany you, and sh-should Highgate attempt to k-kill Lily Evans, th-then I will m-make sure he d-doesn't succeed. I _kn-know_ you two can l-look after yourselves w-well enough."

-----

Sirius stared at him. "Are... Are you giving us _permission_?!" He asked incredulously. "Because you think it will actually _work_?!" He grinned slowly. "By Merlin its true... I AM a genius!" With that, he leapt up, and dragged James away from the group of Seventh Years (who had been revising for their NEWTs until his dancing had interrupted them) that were trying to turn him into a bullfrog.

"We did it!" Sirius crowed. "We actually came up with a plan that Remus APPROVES of!" James let out an unrestrained cheer of delight, and was promptly hit with no less that four silencing charms. Sirius just laughed, and sat back down, picking up his real revision notes for the first time in weeks. He ignored James' silent protests, and handed him a textbook. "Oh, calm down James! Remus is going to let us carry out the 'Grand Master Plan'! The least we can do is make sure he doesn't go prematurely grey with the stress of trying to get us to do some work..."

-----

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long delay; the site was refusing to upload any of our documents, so we were unable to post. Also, updates are likely to be slightly slower than normal due to the fact that we have just started a new school year. Thanks for the understanding! =]


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